


A Medium, Two Demon Hunters, and an Angel V.S. Lucifer

by haiiibugz



Series: A Medium and Two Demon Hunters [3]
Category: Supernatural, The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Ben Hargreeves Needs A Hug, Ben being a badass, Bobby Singer Deals With Idjits, Bobby Singer needs a hug, Bobby being a badass, Brain Damage, Castiel Needs a Hug (Supernatural), Dean Winchester Being a Good Brother, Dean Winchester Needs a Hug, Dean Winchester is Bad at Feelings, F/M, Gen, I hate myself for saying that, Klaus Hargreeves Being a Good Brother, Klaus Hargreeves Needs A Hug, Klaus being a badass, Klaus has his comic powers, Past Abuse, Protective Bobby Singer, Rating May Change, Sam Winchester Being a Good Brother, Sam Winchester Needs a Hug, Sam being a badass, Season/Series 05 Spoilers, Seizures, Tags May Change, Warnings May Change, bobby singer is a good dad, dean being a badass, no beta we die like ben, too soon
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-14
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-10 21:08:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 53,196
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28073715
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/haiiibugz/pseuds/haiiibugz
Summary: They did it.They successfully freed Lucifer from his cage in Hell. The apocalypse is on. The end is nigh. Doomsday is fast approaching. It’s armageddon. This was their final battle. Now, it’s the end of the fucking world. And Sam, Dean, Ben and Klaus are the ones to thank for it.
Relationships: Ben Hargreeves & Dean Winchester, Ben Hargreeves & Klaus Hargreeves, Bobby Singer & Dean Winchester, Castiel & Bobby Singer, Castiel & Dean Winchester, Castiel & Sam Winchester, Castiel (Supernatural) & Klaus Hargreeves, Dean Winchester & Sam Winchester, Klaus Hargreeves & Dean Winchester, Klaus Hargreeves & God, Klaus Hargreeves & Sam Winchester
Series: A Medium and Two Demon Hunters [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1435195
Comments: 68
Kudos: 88





	1. Armageddon

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to the 3rd installment of A Medium and Two Demon Hunters! This book takes place in the 5th season of Supernatural, which is arguably the best season of all time. I don’t know how many chapters this will have. This season is more complicated than season 4 and Klaus’s going to have a much bigger storyline, so I don’t know how many chapters this will have. If I had to guess I’d say 15-20. Maybe more, maybe less. We’ll see.
> 
> This book will be filled with angst (obviously), fluff (it’ll be rare, but there’ll be some), and since it’s Supernatural and TUA, which are both very chaotic shows, lots and lots of chaos.
> 
> Before we get into it, here are some warnings for this chapter: Self harm, paralysis, threats of suicide, mentions of past suicide attempt, major character injury, Lucifer, talks of the end of the world, non-consensual touching, stomach cancer, bullet wounds, suffocation, seizures, near death experiences, hallucinations, past murder, blood, vomiting, death, swearing, and PTSD flashbacks. Stay safe y’all!

They did it.

They successfully freed Lucifer from his cage in Hell. The apocalypse is on. The end is nigh. Doomsday is fast approaching. It’s armageddon. This was their final battle. Now, it’s the end of the fucking world. And Sam, Dean, Ben and Klaus are the ones to thank for it. 

Klaus looks around the room, watching as the building around him crumbles, similar to everything in his life right about now. There’s an overwhelmingly bright light, a high-pitched alarm, and Klaus prepares himself for death.

It never comes.

They all look around in confusion, seeing they’d been transported to a plane. 

It’s dark out and every passenger on the plane is fast asleep. On the TV plays what appears to be an old cartoon, with a devil and a man named Sam talking on the screen. Klaus nearly laughs- how ironic. Whoever put them here really has a sense of humor. 

"What the hell?" Dean asked what they’re all thinking. 

Before anyone has a chance to reply, the pilots voice comes over the intercoms. "Folks, quick word from the flight deck." He said. "We're just passing over Ilchester, then Ellicott City, on our initial descent into Baltimore—"

"Ilchester?" Dean asked. "Weren't we just there?"

"So if you'd like to stretch your legs, now would be a good time to—" The pilot stops suddenly. The hunters and ex-superheroes share looks with each other. What is happening? "Holy crap!"

Suddenly, shockwaves are sent throughout the plane. People are thrown everywhere, screaming. Oxygen falls and no one wastes any time putting them on. A bright light from outside the plane window becomes blinding. There’s a high-pitched noise.

They’re gonna crash.

-

They don’t crash, miraculously.

They almost do, which only worsens Dean’s fear of planes, but the captain manages to get control of the plane and they land safely. Once they’re on the ground, the Winchesters and Hargreeves venture out to a 24 hour car rental place in search of a car. They find one, it’s no Impala, but it’ll do until Dean can get her back. 

The clock says it’s 4:46 AM, which means the sun will be up soon. 

Sam plays around with the radio, much to Dean’s annoyance. "—and Governor O'Malley urged calm—" One radio announcer said. It cuts in and out, so Dean doesn’t hear everything he says. "—saying it's very unlikely an abandoned convent would be a target for terrorists, either foreign or homegrown."

"Change the station." Dean ordered.

"—Hurricane Kinley, unexpectedly slamming into the Galveston area—" Sam changes the channel again. "—announced a successful test of the North Korean nuclear—" And again. "—a series of tremors—" And again. "—swine flu—" Sam turns off the radio.

There’s silence.

"Dean, look—" Sam began, probably to apologize. Dean doesn’t wanna hear it right now.

"Don't say anything." Dean said. "It's okay. We just got to keep our heads down and hash this out, all right?"

"Yeah, okay."

"All right, well, first things first—" Dean said. "How did we end up on Soul Plane?"

"Angels, maybe?" Sam suggested. "I mean, you know, beaming us out of harm's way?"

"Well, whatever." Dean said. "It's the least of our worries. We need to find Cas."

Sam, Dean, and Klaus (and probably Ben) drive to Chuck’s, which is the last place Dean saw Cas. He’d been fighting an Archangel and he teleported Dean to St. Mary’s Convent, aka the place the Winchester’s and Hargreeves jump-started the apocalypse. Dean hopes he’s alright. 

He’d be sick if something happened to the Angel.

-

The two hunters and two ex-superheroes approach the front door, which is unlocked. They share concerned glances at each other before walking inside. 

It looks horrible. Everything is broken, there’s blood on the floor, and there’s a serious lack of Chuck and Castiel. From somewhere in the house, there’s a noise, which startles Sam. There’s no one around- not an Angel, not a demon, not a prophet- nothing. It appears a fight took place, and by the looks of it, there were no winners.

"It looks like a tornado ripped through here." Klaus said, looking around the room.

Something hits Sam on the head. "Geez! Ow!"

He looks to see the cause of the new bump on his head. It’s Chuck.

"Sam."

"Yeah!"

"Hey, Chuck." Dean greeted.

"So...you're okay?" Chuck asked. And no, Sam isn’t okay. He started the apocalypse and now he’s got a bump on his head. Nothing about any of this is okay. It’ll never be okay again.

"Well, my head hurts." Sam said, because if he said everything he thought, people would he seriously concerned. It’s fair. Sam would probably be concerned for himself if he liked himself. He doesn’t, so he isn’t. 

"No, I mean—I mean, my—My last vision." Chuck said. "You went, like, full-on Vader. Your body temperature was one-fifty. Your heart rate was two hundred. Your eyes were black."

"Your eyes went black?" Dean asked, concerned.

"I didn't know."

"Where's Cas?" Dean asked.

"He's dead." Chuck said. Sam pretends not to notice the emotion that floods Dean’s eyes. "Or gone. The archangel smote the crap out of him. I'm sorry."

"You're sure?" Dean asked. "I mean, maybe he just vanished into the light or something."

"Oh, no. He, like, exploded." Chuck explained. "Like a water balloon of chunky soup."

"Very descriptive." Klaus said, disgusted. "You’ve got a real way with words."

Chuck rolls his eyes. Sam takes notice of something in Chuck’s hair. It looks like a tooth. Oh my gosh, a tooth is growing out of Chuck’s head. "You got a—"

Chuck waves a hand at his ear. "Uh...right here?"

"Uh, the..." Sam said, pointing to the other side of Chuck’s head. 

Chuck feels that side of his head. "Oh. Oh, gosh." He said, pulling something out. "Is that a molar?" It indeed is. Sam nearly pukes. "Do I have a molar in my hair? This has been a really stressful day."

"Cas, you stupid bastard." Dean said, shaking his head.

Sam feels a wave of confusion. How is Cas stupid for trying to save them? "Stupid?" He asked. "He was trying to help us."

"Yeah, exactly."

"What do we do now?" Klaus asked.

"I don't know." Dean said.

"Oh, crap." Chuck said, eyes wide. 

Sam feels his anxiety spike. "What?"

"I can feel them."

"Thought we'd find you here." An all too familiar voice said. Sam, Dean, and Klaus turn around to see Zachariah with two other Angels accompanying him. "Playtime's over, Dean. Time to come with us."

"You just keep your distance, asshat." Dean said, taking a step back.

"You're upset."

"Yeah. A little." Dean said. "You sons of bitches jump-started judgment day!"

"Maybe we let it happen. We didn't start anything." Zachariah said. He looks at Sam. "Right, Sammy?" He winks. Sam can feel the guilt eating away at him. He caused the apocalypse. He freed Lucifer from his cage. This is all his fault. The Angel turns back to Dean. "You had a chance to stop your brother, and you couldn't. So let's not quibble over who started what. Let's just say it was all our faults and move on. 'Cause like it or not, it's Apocalypse Now. And we're back on the same team again."

"Is that so?" Dean asked,

"You want to kill the devil." Zachariah said. "We want you to kill the devil. It's...synergy."

"And I'm just supposed to trust you?" Dean asked. "Cram it with walnuts, ugly."

"This isn't a game, son." Zachariah said. "Lucifer is powerful in ways that defy description. We need to strike now, hard and fast—before he finds his vessel."

"His vessel?" Sam asked. "Lucifer needs a meat suit?"

"He is an angel." Zachariah said. "Them's the rules."

"Ugh, did you really just say that?" Klaus asked. "’Them’s the rules’?"

"No offense, Mr. Hargreeves, but I don’t think you’re in any place to judge someone else." Zachariah said. "You’re what, only 10 months sober?"

Sam opens his mouth to argue, to say that’s not true because Klaus has been sober for well over a yell, but when Klaus looks at him with sad, embarrassed eyes, he stops. If Klaus relapsed, it’s none of his business. 

"And when he touches down, we're talking Four Horsemen, red oceans, fiery skies—" Zachariah said. "—the greatest hits. You can stop him, Dean, but you need our help."

"You listen to me, you two-faced douche." Dean said. "After what you did, I don't want jack squat from you!"

"You listen to me, boy!" Zachariah said. "You think you can rebel against us? As Lucifer did?" Zachariah’s eyes widen slightly. "You're bleeding."

"Oh, yeah—a little insurance policy in case you dicks showed up." Dean said, slapping his bloodied hand onto some sorta symbol on the door. It seems to scare Zachariah.

"No!"

Suddenly, Zachariah vanishes in a bright, white light, causing Sam, Klaus, and Chuck to flinch back against it. When they open their eyes, they see Zachariah is gone, and so are the other Angels. Sam looks at Dean in amazement.

"Learned that from my friend Cas, you son of a bitch."

Chuck looks panicked. "This sucks ass."

"You can say that again." Klaus muttered.

"This sucks-" 

"I wasn’t serious." Klaus said. "Shut up."

-

Ben stares out the window of their rented car, watching as the town around him passes by. Klaus, who sits to his left, peers through his own window. Meanwhile, Sam sits in the passengers seat next to Dean, who drives. 

"Um..." Dean said. "Hey, Klaus?"

"Yeah?" Klaus asked, looking up.

"I know it’s none of my business, and if you tell me to shut up, I will. But..." He trails off. "Did you lie? When you said you met God?"

Ben gapes at Dean- did he just ask that?

"What?!" Ben and Klaus say in unison, but only one is heard. 

"Look, I’m sorry-" Dean said. "Zachariah told me something about God, and how he described Him... it didn’t sound anything like the person you said you met."

"Dean, I did meet God!" Klaus said. "I would never lie about that!"

"Okay, okay, I didn’t think you did." Dean said. "It’s just... Zachariah said God was a man and that He has ‘left the building’. Which means you two don’t know the same God. I’m just worried whoever you met is pretending."

"She’s not." Klaus said. "Zachariah doesn’t know shit. I can’t believe you believed him."

"Neither can I." Dean said. "I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to offend you."

"Whatever." Klaus said, staring back out the window. "It’s fine."

Silence falls upon the car.

"Klaus, I don’t mean to jump on the ‘Klaus interrogation’ train, but..." Sam said. "Is it true you’ve only been sober for 10 months? Did you relapse when Dean was dead?"

Klaus looks down at his hands. Ben can tell this is upsetting him, and he wants to say something but he’s not corporeal right now. It’s stressful. He hates seeing Klaus upset.

"I did." Klaus said. "But you have to understand, Sam. You left. You-you told me you wished I would’ve stayed dead, then you left. I had nothing except for a shitty apology note and 20 dollars, and Bobby’s house was two hours away. I had no reason to live anymore, and I tried to die but it didn’t stick, so I looked for a drug dealer and relapsed."

"Wait, you tried to die?" Dean asked, concerned. "Did you try to commit suicide?"

"Yeah, but it’s not a big deal!" Klaus said. "Can we drop this? At least for right now?"

"It is a big deal, Klaus." Dean said. "But fine. We’ll talk about it later."

"Alright." Klaus said. "Uh, where are we heading to?"

"I was thinking we could stop at a motel for the night." Dean said. "I don’t know about you guys, but I’m exhausted. Trying to stop the apocalypse really took a lot outta me."

"Yeah, and causing it will make you tired, too." Sam said, voice quiet. 

"I’ve used up all my powers today so I’m exhausted, too." Klaus said. "Are you tired, Ben?"

"I’m dead." Ben deadpanned.

"Yeah, forgot about that." Klaus said, scratching at his ear. "Sorry."

-

Nick lay in bed alone and restless. He hasn’t been able to sleep since... the incident. 

Every time he closes his eyes, he sees their dead bodies surrounded by a puddle of their own blood. No matter how drunk he gets and how much therapy he goes to, it doesn’t do shit to help with his flashbacks. He’s exhausted. He wants sleep, but most importantly, he just wants his family back. He needs them back.

He feels something warm and sticky on his hands, causing his anxiety to spike. When he brings his hands up, he sees they’re covered in blood and he thinks back to that night, when he tried to stop his wife and son’s bleeding, but failed and his hands got covered-

Nick throws off the blankets and sees a large puddle of crimson wicked covering the sheets and himself, as if someone just bled out. He jumps out of bed, blood still covering him, and rushes to the lamp that rests on the nightstand and quickly turns it on. He looks down at himself and to the bed only to find there’s no blood.

He hallucinated.

"All right, keep it together." Nick said to himself. "Keep it together, man."

He turns the light off and climbs back into bed. When he rolls over, he sees his deceased wife with blood on her face. He sits up, shocked.

"It's you, Nick." Sarah said. "You're special. You're chosen."

Nick shakes his head and covers his eyes. He’s going insane. It makes sense, after everything he did and everything went through. He’s losing his mind and seeing his dead wife. What’s next, is he gonna see his infant son?

When he opens his eyes, his wife is gone.

-

Chuck stares at his computer screen, debating whether or not he should make the call that he should probably make. It’s just... Becky is a mega fan, and she’s so creepy and weird. Because of her, he’s read things he never should have read, and seen things he never should’ve seen. With a sigh and a shaky finger, he presses call.

A second later, Becky’s face appears on his screen.

She covers her mouth in shock, staring at Chuck with wide eyes. If she’s excited now, he doesn’t wanna see what she’ll do when he tells her Sam and Dean are real. He silently prays for them. They’ll need it.

"Oh...my...God." Becky said and Chuck nearly laughs. "You're..."

"Carver Edlund, yeah." Chuck said. "Hi, Becky."

"You got my letters." She said. "And my marzipan."

Chuck looks down at the mention of that. "Yeah, yeah." He said. "Um...yummy. But, uh—"

"I am your number-one fan." Becky cuts him off. "You know, I'm samlicker81."

"I'm sorry." Chuck said, stifling his cringe. "You're—You're what?"

"Webmistress at morethanbrothers dot net?"

"Oh. Yeah." Chuck said. "No, yeah. You're my...number-one fan." 

Becky grins widely.

"That's why I contacted you." Chuck said. "You're the only one who will believe me."

Becky frowns. "Are you all right?"

"No. I'm being watched." Chuck said. When fear washes over her face, he’s quick to correct himself. "Okay, not, not now—at least, I don't think so. But I don't have much time. I need your help."

"You need my help?" Becky asked excitedly.

"That's right." Chuck said. "I need you to get a message to Sam and Dean. Okay?"

Becky sighs, looking pissed. "Look, Mr. Edlund... Yes, I'm a fan, but I really don't appreciate being mocked." She said. "I know that Supernatural's just a book, okay? I know the difference between fantasy and reality."

"Becky, it's all real."

Becky grins widely, believing him now. "I knew it!"

-

Becky stands outside of Sam and Dean’s— yes, Sam and freaking Dean’s!— motel room door, trying to contain her excitement. She needs to make a good impression. After all. She is meeting her husband today!

When she’s calm enough to, she knocks on the door.

And then when it swings open, any ounce of calm leaves her body. It’s Sam! And somehow, he’s sexier than she pictured, and she pictured him very sexy.

"You okay, lady?"

"Sam...is it really you?" Becky asked. Sam glances back. She steps closer to him, and puts a hand on his chest. He definitely works out. "And you're so firm."

"Uh, do I know you?" Sam asked.

Becky pulls away. Sam gives her a weird look, but she’s happy he’s staring at her at all! "No." She said. "But I know you. You're Sam Winchester. And you're—" She looks around the room, seeing two other men. One has curly brown hair and is kinda attractive, and the other has straight, dirty-blonde hair and is very unattractive. Both have green eyes. Either of them could be Dean, so she guesses. "Dean?"

"Ew." The curly haired man— Dean?— said. "No. I’m Klaus."

"Why did you say ew?" The other man— definitely Dean— asked, offended. 

"It’s fine, he’s right." Becky said. "You are... not what I pictured. I'm Becky."

Becky let’s herself into the room.

"I read all about you guys." Becky said. "And I've even written a few—" She cuts herself off, looking down and giggling. "Anyway, Mr. Edlund told me where you were."

Dean stands. "Chuck?"

"He's got a message, but he's being watched." Becky explained. "Angels. Nice change-up to the mythology, by the way. The demon stuff was getting kind of old." 

It’s true. It was demon this, demon that. When she found out about Angel’s, she got so excited. If those books ever get released she’ll be the first at the store to buy them.

"Right." Sam said. "Just, um...what's the message?"

"He had a vision." Becky explained, getting back on topic. Chuck sent her here to deliver a message, not fangirl over Sam. Even if he is hot... "’The Michael sword is on earth. The Angels lost it.’"

"The Michael sword?" Dean and Klaus asked in unison.

"Becky, does he know where it is?" Sam asked.

"In a castle, on a hill made of forty-two dogs." Becky explained.

"Forty-two dogs?" Dean and Klaus, once again, asked in unison.

"Are...you sure you got that right?" Sam asked.

"It doesn't make sense, but that's what he said." Becky said, stepping closer to Sam. "I memorized every word." She places her hand on his firm chest, feeling his heartbeat.  
"For you."

Sam looks over at Klaus and Dean, clearly uncomfortable. He turns back to her. "Um, Becky," he said and oh my gosh, he’s really addressing her! "c—uh, can you...quit touching me?"

"No."

-

There’s a knock at the door and Dean stands to answer it. Klaus balls up his fists, summoning his powers just in case. They glow blue, and he imagines his eyes do the same. If it’s an Angel-

"Hey, Bobby."

Klaus relaxes and watches as the blue glow from his fists fades. It’s not an Angel. It’s not a demon. It’s Bobby. Bobby is alive.

"Good to see you boys all in one piece." Bobby said, hugging Dean and walking into the room. He hugs Sam, and when Klaus stands, he hugs him, too. There’s something different about the hunter, something that makes Klaus feel a bit uneasy.

Dean shuts the door. "You weren't followed, were you?"

"You mean by angels, demons, or Sam's new superfan?" Bobby asked.

Sam chuckles. "You heard."

"I heard, Romeo." Bobby said. "So...sword of Michael, huh?"

"You think we're talking about the actual sword from the actual archangel?" Dean asked.

"You better friggin' hope so."

Bobby opens up a book and flips through it, before finally landing on a page. It shows a painting of a winged woman, probably Michael, surrounded by naked Angel babies with wings. Klaus stifles his laughter.

"That's Michael." Bobby said. "Toughest son of a bitch they got."

Sam takes the book from Bobby and flips through it until it lands on a page that catches his attention. Dean peers over his shoulder. "You kidding me?" Dean said. "Tough? That guy looks like Cate Blanchett."

Klaus opens his mouth to argue women and feminine men can be just as powerful as manly men if not more, but is cut off by Bobby.

"Well, I wouldn't want to meet him in a dark alley, believe me." He said. "He commands the heavenly host. During the last big dust-up upstairs, he's the one who booted Lucifer's ass to the basement. Did it with that sword." He points to the sword in Michael’s hand. "So if we can find it..."

"We can kick the devil's ass all over again." Bobby said. "All right. So, where do we start?"

"Divvy up and start reading—try and make sense of Chuck's nonsense." Bobby said. While he speaks, Sam gets up and walks towards the bookshelf, but doesn’t grab anything. He just... stares. "Kid? You all right?"

Sam looks at Bobby, tears in his eyes. "No, actually. Bobby, this is all my fault." He said. "I'm sorry."

"Sam..." Dean said, tone warning.

"Lilith did not break the final seal." Sam explained, ignoring Dean. "Lilith was the final seal."

"Sam, stop it."

"I killed her, and I set Lucifer free."

Klaus watches Bobby’s eyes flash with something he’s never seen before. Something... evil. "You what?"

"You guys warned me about Ruby, the demon blood, but I didn't listen." Sam said, eyes flooded with guilt. "I brought this on."

"No, Sam-" Klaus said. 

Bobby stands up from his seat and walks towards Sam. Klaus’s anxiety spikes. What is he gonna do? "You're damn right you didn't listen." He said. "You were reckless and selfish and arrogant." 

This isn’t Bobby. Bobby would never say this. Bobby loves Sam too much to hurt him.

"I'm sorry."

"Oh, yeah?" Bobby said. "You're sorry you started Armageddon? This kind of thing don't get forgiven, boy. If, by some miracle, we pull this off...I want you to lose my number. You understand me?"

Tears stream down Sam’s face and he nods, understanding. Dean doesn’t speak or do anything to stand up for Sam. He just watches, which makes Klaus’s blood boil. "Bobby, he didn’t mean it." Klaus said. "Everyone told him that killing Lilith would stop the apocalypse, no one told him it’d start it. You can’t blame him for this."

"You also played a part, Klaus." Bobby said, turning to him. "If you spent those months training your powers instead of getting high, maybe you could’ve stopped this. I want you to lose my number as well."

Klaus nods. "I’d be happy to."

"There's an old church nearby." Sam said. "Maybe Klaus and I will go read some of the lore books there."

"Yeah." Bobby agreed. "You two do that."

As Sam and Klaus leave the motel, Klaus stops and turns to Ben, who follows after them. "Stay here."

"What?" Ben asked. "Klaus. Your surrogate Dad just said he wanted nothing to do with you or Sam, which means you’re kinda like two adult orphans now. And you both have histories of depression and suicidal tendencies. I’m not leaving you."

"Yes, you are." Klaus said. "It’s not up for debate."

"Fine." Ben said. "But why?"

"I can’t be sure, but." Klaus said. "I think Bobby’s possessed."

-

Dean and Bobby sit, doing research on Michael and his sword. So far, they haven’t found much. It’s frustrating and he’s *this* close to throwing the books and computer on the floor and giving up. If the world wasn’t literally in his hands, he would, but it is, so he won’t. Not yet, at least.

"I never would have guessed that your daddy was right." Bobby said, breaking the silence. Dean doesn’t look up from his research but he raises a brow. Right about what?

"About what?"

"About your brother." Bobby said. Dean looks up, shocked. "What John said—you save Sam or kill him. Maybe..."

"Maybe what?" Dean demanded. Is he really saying he wishes they would’ve killed Sammy? Sure. Sammy made some mistakes, didn’t listen when everyone told him to stop drinking the blood, but he doesn’t deserve to be killed.

"Maybe we shouldn't have tried so hard to save him."

"Bobby."

"He ended the world, Dean." Bobby said. "And you and I weren't strong enough to stop him proper. That's on us. I'm just saying, your dad was right."

Realization hits Dean. "Dad." He rummages through his bag until he finds a familiar ziplock bag filled with cards. He searches through them, looking for one card in particular. "It's got to be in here somewhere."

"What the hell are you talking about?" Bobby asked.

"Here." Dean said, pulling a card out and reading it. Bobby stands and Dean walks over to him. "I don't believe it."

"What the hell is it?"

"It's a card for my dad's lockup in upstate New York." Dean said. "Read it."

Bobby takes the card from his hands. "’Castle Storage. 42 Rover Hill’."

"Castle on a hill of forty-two dogs." Dean said, taking the card back.

"So you think your dad had the Michael sword all this time?" Bobby asked.

"I don't know." Dean said. "I'm not sure what else Chuck could have meant."

"Yeah." Bobby said. "Okay. It's good enough for me."

Suddenly, Bobby attacks Dean, knocking him through the barrier between the kitchen and beds. Bobby picks him up, and slams him hard. His eyes are black.

Bobby is possessed.

-

When Klaus gave Ben the order to stay back because he believed Bobby was possessed, Ben nearly laughed in his face. After all, Bobby is too smart and stubborn to allow a demon to possess him, and if he did get possessed, he’d just fight against it. Ben thought it was stupid and a waste of time to watch Bobby when Klaus and Sam so clearly couldn’t be alone.

But standing here now, watching as Bobby holds Dean by the throat with black eyes, he’s grateful he listened. Bobby is 100% possessed and about *this* close to killing Dean. He panics. Does he go get Sam and Klaus, or does he sit back and make sure Bobby’s demon doesn’t choke Dean to death? 

He decides on the latter when two new demons enter the room. If this ends with Dean dying, then you better believe Ben is gonna be there with him. No one deserves to die alone like Ben did. No one.

"I always knew you were a big, dumb, slow, dim pain in the ass, Dean." The female demon said. She’s a young, short woman with curly brown hair that goes to her shoulders. Her voice has a slight Southern accent, but it’s not nearly as strong as the Winchester’s or Bobby’s. "But I never dreamed you were so V.I.P." She grabs Ruby’s knife. "I mean, you're gonna ice the devil? You? If I'd have known that, I'd have ripped your pretty, pretty face off ages ago."

"Ruby." Dean said.

"Try again." The female demon said. "Go back further."

Dean’s eyes widen as if he’d just realized something. "Meg?"

"Hi." She said. "These are the days of miracle and wonder, Dean. Our father's among us. You know we're all dreaming again for the first time since we were human? It's heaven on earth. Or hell. We really owe your brother a fruit basket."

"My gosh, you like the sound of your own voice." Dean said.

"But you, on the other hand, you're the only bump in the road." She said. "So every demon—every single one—is just dying for a piece of you."

Dean smirks. "Get in line."

"Oh, I'm in the front of the line, baby." She said. "Let's ride."

Ben watches with wide eyes as Meg kisses Dean. Right. On. The. Lips.

"What is that, peanut butter?" Dean said.

"You know, your surrogate daddy's still awake screaming in there." Meg said and gosh, Ben doesn’t even wanna think about what Bobby’s going through right now. He said such horrible things to Sam, and now he’s trying to kill Dean. Bobby will never forgive himself, even if he can’t control himself right now. "And I want him to know how it feels slicing the life out of you."

Meg hands the knife to Bobby— or, the demon possessing him, because Bobby would rather die then take the thing— and he brings it up to Dean’s throat. If ghosts could vomit, Ben would vomit. He’s about to witness Bobby kill Dean, and there’s nothing he can do to stop it.

"Bobby!" Meg called, gaining the attention from the other demon. "Now!"

Bobby raises the knife to strike Dean.

"Bobby!" Dean pleaded. "No!"

It happens so quickly. One second, Bobby has the knife up, ready to kill Dean, the next he’s on the ground and bleeding out, no longer possessed. 

"Bobby!" Ben called out, crouching on the floor next to him. He tries placing his hands on Bobby’s to stop the bleeding, but they go through. "No, no, no! Bobby! Stay with me, okay? It’s gonna be okay. We’re all gonna be okay."

Meanwhile, Dean is being tossed around the room by the male demon. 

Suddenly, Sam and Klaus break into the room, and they immediately take notice of Bobby, who’s near death, and Dean, who is getting his ass beaten. "No!" Sam shouted. 

"Heya, Sammy." Meg said. "You miss me? 'Cause I sure missed you."

"Meg?" Sam asked.

Meg smiles and a fight breaks out. Klaus flings the demon beating Dean through the air and he hits the wall with a painful crack. Sam swings at Meg but misses. Meanwhile, Ben is still crouched by Bobby’s side, hoping the cool of his hand going through him will be enough to keep him conscious.

"It's not so easy without those super-special demon powers, huh, Sammy?" Meg said, then proceeds to punch him in the face. 

Klaus uses his powers to throw the male demon around the room, slamming him against the ceiling, walls, table, and counter while Dean crawls towards Bobby and pulls out the knife. "No!" Ben said. Now that the knife is gone, Bobby begins bleeding harder. 

"Hey!" Dean called, gaining Klaus’s attention as he pins the demon to the wall. "Use this!"

He tosses the knife in the air and Klaus uses his telekinesis to bring it towards him, then stabs the demon in the chest, killing it. He walks towards Meg with the knife still in his hand, and she manages to escape before he can strike her. Her meat-suits collapses to the floor and he tosses the knife on the floor, looking weak.

He’s used his abilities a lot these past few days and hasn’t slept in almost a week. 

Ben worries he’s going to have another seizure if he doesn’t rest soon.

-

Nick carries his son’s blankets and teddy bears to a box to pack them up. It’s too painful to see his wife and son’s belongings. If he doesn’t get rid of it soon, or at least put it away, he’s going to go insane. While he places the objects in the box, he hears what sounds like a rocker. He turns around and watches as the rocker moves on it’s own. He walks over to it with a frown and stops it from moving.

Suddenly, a baby’s cry pierces through the house.

He rushes towards the box and frantically searches for the baby monitor. When he finds it, he stares, dumbfounded. There’s a baby crying. His baby. His dead baby is crying. 

Nick rushes to the nursery, monitor still in hand. He hesitates. He hasn’t been in the room since that night, and he promised himself he’d never go in there again. It’s too painful. With shaky hands, he opens the door and slowly walks towards the crib.

The crying stops.

Nick turns on the light. When he turns away, the crying starts again. When he turns back, he sees blood pouring out of the crib and onto the carpet. 

Memories from the night flood his mind. Him, coming home drunk to find his wife and son with their heads bashed in with a hammer. How their heads were soft from having their skulls broken. How he tried to stop them from bleeding, but it was too late...

"No..." Nick said, walking towards the crib.

He falls to his knees and sobs.

-

Klaus bursts through the emergency room doors, Sam and Dean, who carry Bobby, following closely behind. "Help!" Klaus shouted. "We need help! Please!"

"What happened?" A nurse asked, running over.

"He was stabbed." Dean explained.

"Can we get a gurney?"

Two new nurses rush over with the requested gurney.

"Hang on, Bobby." Dean said with a soft voice, helping Bobby onto the gurney. "Hang in there. You're gonna be okay."

They rush Bobby off somewhere. When Klaus, Sam, and Dean run after, the nurse stops them. "Just wait here."

"We can't just leave him." Sam said with sad and worried eyes.

"Just don't move." The nurse said. "I've got questions."

And then, the nurse is gone.

"We got to go." Dean said.

"No." Sam refused. "No way, Dean."

"The demons heard where the sword is." Dean said. "We got to get to it before they do, if we're not too late already. Come on!"

Dean stands and Sam follows. Klaus stays seated. "I’m staying."

"What?" Dean asked. "We may need your help."

"But you don’t, Dean." Klaus said. "You’ll be better off without me."

"That’s not true-"

"It is." Klaus said. "If Bobby dies while we’re gone and shows up as a ghost, I’ll blow the whole mission. It happened when Ben died, it can happen again. Now. Go!"

Sam and Dean nod, then rush off to claim Michael’s sword.

Ben takes Sam’s spot. "You okay?"

"Not really." Klaus answered honestly, tears threatening to spill from his eyes. "Bobby might die, Sam and Dean could be killed while they’re gone, my head hurts like you won’t believe, Lucifer is out of his cage, and the world may end which means we may never get to meet our niece. This is the least ‘okay’ I’ve been in a very long time."

Ben places a comforting hand on Klaus’s, but doesn’t speak.

They sit in silence as they wait for news on Bobby.

-

Sam and Dean enter their Dad’s storage room where Chuck says Michael’s sword is located. They prepared themselves to see demons. And they do, but... they didn’t prepare to find all the demons dead.

"I see you told the demons where the sword is." 

Sam and Dean turn around and see an all-too familiar face with two Angels standing on each side of him.

"Oh, thank God." Dean said. "The angels are here."

"And to think...they could have grabbed it any time they wanted." Zachariah said, waving a hand and slamming the door shut. "It was right in front of them."

"What do you mean?" Sam asked.

"We may have planted that particular piece of prophecy inside Chuck's skull, but it happened to be true." Zachariah said. "We did lose the Michael sword. We truly couldn't find it. Until now. You've just hand-delivered it to us."

Dean frowns, confused. "We don't have anything."

Zachariah sighs heavily. As if what he’s saying is the most obvious thing in the world, but Dean just isn’t getting it. "It's you, chucklehead." He said. "You're the Michael sword."

Dean gapes at him.

He’s what?!

-

"What, you thought you could actually kill Lucifer?" Zachariah asked. "You simpering wad of insecurity and self-loathing? No. You're just a human, Dean. And not much of one."

Sam wants to punch him. No ones says that about his brother. No one.

"What do you mean, I'm the sword?" Dean asked.

"You're Michael's weapon." Zachariah explained. "Or, rather, his...receptacle."

"I'm a vessel?"

Zachariah laughs slightly. "You're the vessel." He said. "Michael's vessel."

"How?" Dean asked. "Why—why me?"

"Because you're chosen!" Zachariah explained. "It's a great honor, Dean."

"Oh, yeah." Dean said? "Yeah, life as an angel condom. That's real fun. I think I'll pass, thanks."

"Joking." Zachariah said, clearly unamused. "Always joking. Well...no more jokes."

He raises his hand and makes his fingers look like a gun. He points at Dean, then quickly switches to Sam.

"Bang."

Sam feels and hears his knee shatter. He collapses onto the ground, in too much pain to stand for a second longer. "Gosh!" He said, breathing heavily. It hurts so, so much.

"You son of a bitch!" Dean said.

"Keep mouthing off, I'll break more than his legs." Zachariah said. "I am completely and utterly through screwing around. The war has begun. We don't have our general. That's bad. Now, Michael is going to take his vessel and lead the final charge against the adversary. You understand me?"

"How many humans die in the crossfire, huh?" Dean asked. "A million? Five, ten?"

"Probably more." Zachariah said. "If Lucifer goes unchecked, you know how many die? All of them. Except for Klaus. He'll roast the planet alive, and Klaus will burn with it for eternity, having to live everyday with 6.841 billion ghosts screaming at him."

Sam’s anxiety spikes at the thought. Klaus will never die. Not even when the world is long gone. He’s trapped here for ever, and eventually, he’ll outlive everyone in his family, including Sam and Dean and he’ll be all alone. Sam doesn’t want that for Klaus. He doesn’t want that for anyone.

"There's a reason you're telling me this instead of just nabbing me." Dean said. "You need my consent. Michael needs my say-so to ride around in my skin."

"Unfortunately, yes."

"Well, there's got to be another way." Dean said, in denial. "There is no other way. There must be a battle. Michael must defeat the serpent. It is written."

"Yeah, maybe." Dean said. "But, on the other hand... Eat me. The answer's no."

"Okay." Zachariah said. "How about this? Your friend Bobby—we know he's gravely injured. Say yes, and we'll heal him. Say no, he'll never walk again."

Sam and Dean share a look.

"No."

"Then how about we heal you from...stage-four stomach cancer?"

Dean doubles over in pain and coughs into his hand. When he removes it from his mouth, Sam sees something that terrifies him. Blood. "No." Dean still refuses.

"Okay, well." Zachariah said. "I wonder how Klaus would do without Ben."

Sam’s eyes widen. If Ben disappeared, Klaus would never be the same. He’d relapse and probably hurt himself. Sam worries, with how powerful he is, he’d end up becoming evil. Klaus needs Ben. He’s the only reason why Klaus is still sober.

"No." Dean said after a minute of considering.

"Then let's get really creative." He said. He takes a second, trying to decide how he can ruin their lives next. An evil light appears in his eyes, which lets Sam know he’s thought of something. "Uh, let's see how...Sam does without his lungs."

Suddenly, Sam can’t breathe. 

"Are we having fun yet?" Zachariah asked. "You're going to say yes, Dean."

"Just kill us."

"Kill you?" Zachariah repeated. "Oh, no. I'm just getting started."

A bright light flashes. Zachariah turns just in time to see one of his Angel’s fall to the ground with a hole in his throat. Beside him stands Castiel, alive and well, despite everything Chuck told them.

The other Angel battles Castiel, but Castiel wins easily.

"How are you..." Zachariah said, dumbfounded.

"Alive?" Castiel said. "That's a good question. How did these two end up on that airplane? Another good question. 'Cause the angels didn't do it. I think we both know the answer, don't we?"

"No." Zachariah said. "That's not possible."

"It scares you." Castiel said. "Well, it should. Now, put these boys back together and go. I won't ask twice."

Zachariah heals them then vanishes. Sam and Dean stand.

"You two need to be more careful."

"Yeah, I'm starting to get that." Dean said, voice hoarse. "Your frat brothers are bigger dicks than I thought."

"I don't mean the angels." Castiel explained. "Lucifer is circling his vessel. And once he takes it, those hex bags won't be enough to protect you."

Castiel places a hand on Dean’s chest and the other on Sam’s. For a second there’s pain, which causes them to gasp. It goes away just as quickly as it came. 

"What the hell was that?" Dean asked.

"An Enochian sigil." Castiel explained. "It'll hide you from every angel in creation, including Lucifer."

"What, did you just brand us with it?"

"No." Castiel said. "I carved it into your ribs."

Silence falls upon the room.

'Hey, Cas, were you really dead?" Sam asked, breaking it.

"Yes."

"Then how are you back?" Dean asked.

Instead of answering, Castiel vanishes, leaving Sam and Dean alone with the corpses.

-

Ben sits in the waiting room next to Klaus, who reads some sorta outdated magazine.

"Bobby Singer?" A doctor called out. Klaus stands, throwing the magazine down onto the coffee table in front of him. "Are you Bobby Singer’s son?"

"Yes." Klaus said. "I am. How is he? Is he okay?"

"He’s doing just fine." The ndoctor said and Ben feels himself instantly relaxing. Bobby is alive. "However, there is something I need to talk to you about."

Klaus looks concerned. "What is it?"

"Well, when he was stabbed, the knife did a great deal of damage to his spine." The doctor explained, looking down for a second before meeting Klaus’s emerald eyes. "I’m afraid he’ll never be able to walk again."

Klaus sits down, obviously shocked and upset. "What?"

"I’m not giving up on hope, however." The doctor said, sitting side him. "He could prove us all wrong and walk out of here perfectly healthy. It’s just, as of right now, he’s completely paralyzed."

"Okay." Klaus said, eyes far off. "Um, does he know yet?"

"No." The doctor replied. "I thought it’d be best if he heard the news when a family member was present. Of course, if you don’t feel comfortable going in there, then you don’t have to."

"I’ll go." Klaus said. "Can you show me to his room?"

The doctor nods and guides him to Bobby’s room. He explains to him everything, and Ben has never seen Bobby this pissed before. "’Unlikely to walk again’?!" He screamed. "Why, you snot-nosed son of a bitch! Wait till I get out of this bed!"

"Bobby-" Klaus said, looking frantically from Bobby to the doctor. "I am so sorry."

"Don’t apologize to him!" Bobby said. "He’s a dick!"

The doctor runs out of the room in tears and Sam and Dean enter.

"I'll use my game leg and kick your friggin' ass!" Bobby shouted after the doctor. "Yeah, you better run!" He notices Sam and Dean, and calms significantly. "You believe that yahoo?"

"Screw him." Dean said. "You'll be fine."

"Find out anything?" Klaus asked. Dean and Bobby look at him with wide eyes.

"Klaus, is Ben still here?" Sam asked, eyes frantic.

"Of course!" Klaus said, then frowns. "Why?"

"No reason." Dean said. It’s Ben’s turn to frown now. Was he supposed to not be here?

"What do we do now?" Sam asked, his attention back on Bobby.

"Well... We save as many as we can for as long as we can, I guess." Bobby said "It's bad. Whoever wins, heaven or hell, we're boned."

"What if we win?"

Klaus, Sam, Bobby and Ben stare at Dean. Did he really just say that?

"I'm serious." Dean said. "I mean, screw the angels and the demons and their crap apocalypse. Hell, they want to fight a war, they can find their own planet. This one's ours, and I say they get the hell off it. We take 'em all on. We kill the devil. Hell, we even kill Michael if we have to. But we do it our own damn selves."

"And how are we supposed to do all this, genius?" Bobby asked.

"I got no idea." Dean said. "But what I do have is a GED and a give-'em-hell attitude, and I'll figure it out."

"Dean, I’ve got all those things as well plus powers, and I don’t even think I could save the world!" Klaus said. "You’re insane."

"It's been said." 

Dean walks towards Bobby and pats him on the shoulder.

"Listen, you stay on the mend." He said. "We'll see you in a bit."

Dean walks out the door and Klaus walk out the door, and Sam begins to follow. Bobby stops him. "Sam?" He said and Sam freezes. "I was awake. I know what I said back there. I just want you to know that...that was the demon talking. I ain't cutting you out, boy. Not ever."

Ben smiles, happy that wasn’t Bobby who said what he said back there.

"Thanks, Bobby." Sam said.

"You're welcome." Bobby said. "I deserve a damn medal for this, but...you're welcome."

Sam nods, then leaves.

Ben stays behind for a minute and looks at Bobby, even if he can’t see him. "I’m happy you’re alive..." He said, then pauses. "Dad."

-

Nick lays on his bed, staring up at the ceiling.

He’s officially gone insane. First, he hallucinates objects moving on their own, then he hallucinates blood, then he hallucinates his wife, and now he’s hallucinating his son’s cries. Everything points to him losing his mind. And it doesn’t even surprise him at this point.

You start hallucinating after 4 days without sleep. Nick hasn’t slept since that night two months ago. No matter how hard he tries to, he just can’t. He sees his wife and son, images of someone breaking into the house and their screams as then intruder bashes their heads in with a hammer. He sees himself coming home after spending the night getting drunk only to discover their bodies and what’s more painful than the sight it the thought he could’ve prevented this, had he been at home at the time. This is his fault. 

And now, he’s insane. Maybe he should check himself into a hospital. Maybe he should ‘accidentally’ take too much of the drugs his psychiatrist prescribed for him. Maybe, he’ll be reunited with his wife and son. Maybe then, he’ll finally be able to rest.

He feels another presence in the room and sits up to see his wife.

"Nick." Sarah said. "You're dreaming, Nick. But it doesn't mean this isn't real."

Nick doesn’t remember falling asleep, but he’ll sleep forever if it means he never has to say goodbye to his wife again. She’s so beautiful. He’s missed her so much. "Sarah?"

"I'm not your wife, Nick." Sarah— or not Sarah— said. "I'm an Angel."

"An Angel?" Nick repeated, frowning. Of course it’s not his wife. Of course it’s an Angel. He doubts it’s even that. He’s probably awake and hallucinating again. This is all in his head. He’s insane. A danger to the world. Everyone would be safer if he was locked up.

"My name is Lucifer." Lucifer said. Nick freezes. Isn’t Lucifer the Devil?

"Sure." Nick replied, unbelieving. He’s drunk. He drank a whole pack of beer before bed. He’s just drunk, that’s all. None of this is real. "Naturally. Um... Could you do me a favor there, Satan, and remind me to quit drinking before I go to bed?"

"I'm here because you're special, Nick." Lucifer said. "There's very, very few people like you."

"Is that so?"

"You're a vessel—a very powerful vessel." Lucifer explained. 

Nick throws his feet onto the floor. This has to be in his head, right? Nick? Powerful? No. Nick is just a depressed alcoholic. That’s all. "Meaning what, exactly?" He asked. 

"I need to take control of your mind and your body." Lucifer explained. "To be honest, it'll probably be unpleasant for you. But it is necessary."

"Okay, look...if it's just the same to you, I think I'd like to wake up now."

"I told you—this is real." Lucifer said. "Don't be afraid. This is your choice." Lucifer sits beside Nick. "You need to invite me in."

"Even if this is real—which it's not, but assuming it was..." Nick said. "why the hell would I do something like that?"

"You people misunderstand me." Lucifer said. "You call me ‘Satan’ and ‘devil’, but... Do you know my crime? I loved God too much. And for that, he betrayed me—punished me. Just as he's punished you. After all, how could God stand idly by while that man broke into your home and butchered your family in their beds?"

Memories flash in his head. Of his wife, dead in their bed. Of his son, dead in his crib... He swallows and doesn’t meet Lucifer’s eyes. 

"There are only two rational answers, Nick—either he's sadistic, or he simply doesn't care." Lucifer said. "You're angry. You have every right to be angry. I am angry, too. That's why I want to find him—hold him accountable for his actions. Just because he created us doesn't mean he can toy with us, like playthings."

"If I help you...can you bring back my family?" Nick asked. If Lucifer agrees, he’ll consider letting the devil possess him. He needs his family back. He can’t live a second longer without them.

"I'm sorry." Lucifer said. "I can't. But I can give you the next best thing. God did this to you, Nick. And I can give you justice. Peace."

Nick looks down at his hands. "How do I know you're telling the truth?"

"Because, contrary to popular belief, I don't lie." Lucifer said. Nick feels this is probably a lie, but if it’s not... "I don't need to. What I need...is you. Nick, I need you to say yes."

He considers it. If he says yes, maybe the hallucinations will stop and maybe he can reunite with his family. Maybe he’ll finally be happy. But if he says yes and everything Lucifer just promised is a lie, then he’ll have said yes for no reason.

But the good still outweighs the bad.

"Then yes."


	2. This is War

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’ve had this finished for over a week and I’ve just... not posted it. I don’t know why. I think I was trying to space the chapters out by like at least three days and I just forgot about it. Sorry about that. 
> 
> TW: Suicide, forced suicide, references to addiction, depression, war, murder, death, swearing, torture, and guns.

From the doorway next to Sam, Dean watches with sad eyes as Bobby sits in his wheelchair and looks out the window. This is all his fault. If he would’ve just kept his mouth shut, Bobby wouldn’t have taken control back and he would’ve stabbed Dean instead of himself. Dean should be paralyzed right now, not Bobby. Bobby doesn’t deserve this.

"And neither do you, Dean." Klaus said. Dean opens his mouth to ask how the Hell he knew what Dean was thinking, but Klaus quickly explains himself. "I’ve been able to oread other people’s emotions and energies. I think it has something to do with the whole psychic thingy."

"That’s cool." Sam said, speaking for the first time that day. Since Dean told him he would never trust him again, Sam has been more distant and quiet. Dean hates himself for saying that but he also hates himself for no longer trusting Sam. They used to be so close. Then Sam died, Dean sold his soul to bring him back, and went to Hell. Nothing has been the same since. "Can you tell me how Bobby is feeling?"

"Depressed." Klaus said.

Dean frowns. Bobby doesn’t deserve to be depressed. This is his fault-

"Stop blaming yourselves!" Klaus said, looking at Sam. "It’s not your fault. It’s the demon’s faults. All of them. Ruby tricked you into trusting her and made you believe that by drinking demon blood and killing Lilith you’d save the world." He looks at Dean. "And Dean, if Bobby killed you, he’d kill himself immediately after because he wouldn’t be able to live with that guilt. You’re his son and he loves you too much to ever hurt you. It sucks, but it’s good Bobby stabbed himself. Otherwise, neither one of them would be here right here."

Dean nods, still feeling guilty but not as bad. "Thanks."

"Yeah, thank you, Klaus." Sam said. "Can you read thoughts too?"

"In a way."

Sam nods. They turn their attention back to Bobby.

"How can we cheer him up?" Sam asked.

"I could give him a back rub." Dean suggested. When everyone turns to him, he shrugs. "What? I don’t know what else to do. Bobby doesn’t like a lot of things."

"That’s not true." Klaus argued. "He likes drinking and killing things."

"Well, the hospital doesn’t allow alcohol and I don’t know how we’d bring a demon in here without anyone noticing." Sam said. "We need to come up with something else."

"Alright." Klaus said. He rolls his eyes. "Dean, I’m sorry but I have to ask ‘cause Ben won’t quit pestering me about it. Why are you holding that envelope and what’s inside of it?"

Dean’s eyes widen. He’d forgotten about that. "Oh yeah!" He said. "I went to radiology."

"Are you okay?" Klaus asked, concerned. 

"The world is ending and the Angels expect me to be Michael’s vessel, so no." Dean said. "But health wise, I’m alright. I went to radiology to get some glamour shots."

"Ew, Dean."

"What? No!" Dean said. "No. I went there for this."

He hands the envelope to Klaus, who eyes it with a confused expression on his face. "What’s that?" He asked, handing the paper back to Dean.

"I think it’s Enochian." Dean said, taking the paper back. "The same thing is on Sam’s."

"Why is it there?"

"It’ll protect us from Angels." Dean explained. 

Sam’s phone rings and he answers it. "Hello?" He greeted, a bit unsure. "...Castiel?"

"Speak of the devil."

"Ah, St. Martin's Hospital." Sam informed. "Why? What are you—Cas?"

Sam hangs up, a frown on his face.

"Castiel has a phone?" Klaus asked. "Since when?"

Sam shrugs.

Suddenly, a voice comes over the speakers. "Dr. Cohen to the ER, stat." It said. "Dr. Cohen to the ER, stat."

Doctors and nurses rush in one direction, while a familiar walks in another, towards the group. "Cell phone, Cas?" Dean asked. "Really? Since when do angels need to reach out and touch someone?"

"You're hidden from angels now—all angels." Castiel argued. "I won't be able to simply—"

"Enough foreplay." Bobby’s voice cuts in. All attention is brought to the paralyzed hunter. "Get over here and lay your damn hands on." When no one moves, Bobby huffs. "Get healing. Now."

Castiel looks down, unable to look at Bobby. "I can't."

Bobby wheels his chair to face Cas. "Say again?"

Castiel walks over to Bobby, "I'm cut off from Heaven and much of Heaven power." He explained. "Certain things I can do. Certain things I can't."

"You're telling me you lost your mojo just in time to get me stuck in this trap the rest of my life?" Bobby asked.

"I'm sorry."

"Shove it up your ass."

He turns back to the window.

"At least he's talking now." Dean said.

"I heard that."

Castiel walks towards the group and shoves them into the hall to speak in private. "I don't have much time." He explained. "We need to talk."

"Okay."

"Your plan to kill Lucifer." Castiel said. Which is... a weird start to what’s probably going to be a just as weird conversation. Great.

"Yeah." Dean said. "You want to help?"

"No." Castiel said. "It's foolish. It can't be done."

"Oh." Dean said. "Thanks for the support."

"But I believe I have the solution." Castiel said. "There is someone besides Michael strong enough to take on Lucifer. Strong enough to stop the apocalypse."

"Who's that?" Sam asked.

"The one who resurrected me and put you on that airplane." Castiel said. Whoever he’s speaking of, he’s really hyping them up. Like damn. "The one who began everything. God."

"Why do I know where this is headed." Klaus said.

"Klaus, I need you to kill yourself so you can talk to God."

"There it is!"

-

Ben watches as Sam closes the door to Bobby’s room, just to give them privacy for what they’re about to do to the Angel. When the door is shut, Sam turns towards Castiel, clearly pissed off. "What the fuck did you just suggest?" He demanded.

"I suggested for Klaus to kill himself for the sake of the world." Castiel said with a frown. "Did you not hear me the first time?"

"We did." Bobby said. "But Klaus is not doing that!"

"You are not in charge of him, Bobby." Castiel said. "It’s entirely his decision. Klaus, what do you want to do? Do you want to put your powers to use and save billions, or sit back and let humanity die? It’s up to you."

All eyes fall onto the medium.

"If it’s for the world, then it’s fine..."

"Screw the world, okay?" Dean said. "Forget it exists. What do you want to do?"

"I, uh..." He said, voice quiet. "I don’t want to die again."

"See!" Bobby said. "He doesn’t wanna die, and we ain’t killing him. Find God yourself."

"Fine." Castiel said. "I’ll find Him—"

"Her—"

"Myself." Castiel finished, sending a glare to Klaus. "Did you say She’s in Heaven?"

"Well, no." Klaus said. "She’s never specified anything about where we’re at. I just know it’s black and white and peaceful. I’ve always assumed we were in Heaven, though."

"I hope that’s enough information to help me in my search." Castiel said. "I truly believe if we find Her, we’ll win."

"It's a pipe dream, Cas." Dean said with a shrug. Ben sees where he’s coming from. They’ve been suffering, and what has She done to help? Nothing. It’s frustrating.

"I killed two angels this week." Castiel said, walking towards the hunter in a threatening way. "My brothers. I'm hunted. I rebelled. And I did it, all of it, for you, and you failed. You and your brothers destroyed the world and I lost everything, for nothing. So keep your opinions to yourself."

"You didn't drop in just to tear us a new hole and ask Klaus to commit suicide." Dean said. "What is it you want?"

"When I came here, I really hoped Klaus would agree to end his own life to save the world." Castiel said, looking disappointed. "However, I knew everyone would refuse and he wouldn’t, so onto Plan B. I need an amulet."

"An amulet?" Bobby asked. "What kind?"

"Very rare. Very powerful." Castiel informed. "It burns hot in God's presence. It'll help me find Her."

"So, like..." Klaus said. "A God EMF?"

"Exactly."

"Well, I don't know what you're talking about." Bobby said. "I got nothing like that."

"I know." Castiel said. "You don't."

Castiel’s eyes fall on a necklace around Dean’s neck. "What, this?"

"May I borrow it?"

"No." Dean said. "Sammy gave it to me when we were kids, you’re not getting it."

Castiel makes grabby hands. "Dean." He whined. "Give it to me."

Dean stares at him for a minute, considering it. "All right, I guess." He removes the necklace. "Don't lose it." Castiel takes it from his hand. "Great. Now I feel naked."

"I'll be in touch."

Castiel vanishes.

"When you find God, tell him to send legs!" Bobby called after him. He turns to Klaus. "Klaus, y’know you don’t have to kill yourself in order for the world to be saved, right?"

"I mean..." Klaus said, trailing off. "God told me I would save the world one day. What if this is how I save it? I kinda feel like I failed Her in a way, y’know?"

"Klaus." Ben said. "You didn’t fail Her."

"Maybe not." Klaus said. "But if Castiel doesn’t find Her himself, then I will."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, I’m going to kill myself." 

-

"Klaus, you don’t have to do that." Bobby argued, eyes wide. He could kill Castiel for even suggesting that to Klaus and making him feel like shit for refusing, and he could punch Klaus for considering it. He prays for Castiel’s safety that he finds God. Otherwise, the Angel won’t be around much longer.

"What other option do we have?" Klaus asked. "And it’s only if Castiel doesn’t find God. I didn’t say that I’m going to, I’m just saying, if it comes down to it..."

"It won’t." Dean and Sam said in unison.

"I know." Klaus said. "I don’t think God is sitting back right now and letting this happen. She’ll probably bring Cas to her and agree to help. She has a plan, I just know it."

"I hope you’re right." Dean replied.

Bobby’s phone rings. "Hello?"

"Bobby- it, hear- me?" Rufus’s voice came through, fading in-and-out. Bobby frowns.

"I can't hear you."

"-isten." Rufus said. "-need, -help-"

"What’s wrong?" Klaus asked, voice a whisper.

"-demons." Rufus said. "Damn- infested. Hang- on-"

"Where are you?"

"-iver-" Rufus said. "-ass. Colora-"

"Colora—Colorado?" Bobby guessed, hoping he’s right.

"-rado!"

"River Pass, Colorado?"

"-ver Pa-"

The other voice goes silent, but Bobby can hear moving around. Whatever is going on, Rufus is in danger. "Rufus?" He asked. "You there? Rufus? Rufus!"

"Bobby, it's—"

He hears the phone fall the the ground and then gunshots.

"What’s wrong?" Dean asked, concerned evident in his voice.

"You three need to get to River Pass, Colorado immediately."

"Why?" Klaus asked.

"Rufus is in danger."

-

After learning from Bobby that River Pass, Colorado is infested with demons, Sam, Dean, Klaus and probably Ben were quick to get their asses in the Impala so they could drive over there. That brings us to now.

Sam stares at the bridge— or what used to be a bridge— in front of him. It’s the only way to get to where they need to be, but since it’s broken... they’re screwed.

Dean kicks a rock off the edge. 

"This is the only road in or out."

Sam grabs his phone from his pocket and holds it up. Yep. Demons are definitely here. "No signal."

"Rufus was right." Dean said. "Demons got this place locked down."

"Anyone up for a hike?" Klaus said.

"No." Dean said with a small sigh. "But, it doesn’t look like we’ve got any other choice."

They walk towards the trunk and pop it open to grab the weapons. Demons are already dangerous as it is, but they’d be even more dangerous with all the knives and guns Dean keeps in his car. 

Klaus takes a gun, startling Sam and Dean.

"What?" He asked then rolls his eyes. "Oh my gosh, guys. I won’t hurt myself. I didn’t agree to Castiel. You guys were even there!"

"I know, but you also said if you had to kill yourself, you would." Sam said. "You can’t blame us for being a bit concerned."

"Yeah, yeah." Klaus said. "I know."

"Okay." Dean said, closing the trunk. "Let’s get this show on the road."

They walk along the street, guns and bags full of knives and salt in tow. There’s no sign of life. It’s like a ghost town.

When Klaus flinches, Sam knows it’s exactly. "You alright?"

"Yeah." Klaus said. "There’s just a lot of ghosts."

Sam places a hand on Klaus’s shoulder and squeezed. "Don’t worry, the second we finish all of this, we’ll head home." He said. "Can you sense any forms of life, or is everyone here dead?"

"Actually, I do." Klaus said. "There’s not a lot, but there’s some."

"That’s a good thing, right?" Dean asked.

"I don’t know." Klaus said, shrugging. "I guess?"

Sam notices an upside down blue sedan in the street. Apparently, so do Dean and Klaus, ‘cause they walk with Sam towards it. Sam looks through the window, and shakes his head when he sees it’s empty. That’s good, right? If no ones in it, maybe there wasn’t some tragic accident.

They pass a house with its sprinkles turned on, which tells Sam that whatever happened, happened so quick the residents probably had to escape in a hurry and didn’t have time to turn them off. A sad feeling forms in Sam’s chest. No one should be forced to flee their house in fear they’ll be killed. It’s cruel.

They keep walking until they come across another car, this one tan and not upside down. The driver’s door is wide open and the engine is running. Sam can hear ‘Spirit in the Sky’ playing on the radio and frowns. That song has been stuck in his head all day.

Sam, Dean, and Klaus prepare their guns and approach the car, only to find it’s completely empty. Sam turns the engine off and the music stops. He sighs.

The hunters and medium spot a banner over the street, which welcomes people to the seventy-fifth anniversary of River Pass, Colorado’s Pioneer Days. It shows pictures of people Sam doesn’t recognize. 

Their attention is quickly focused on a classic red Mustang that Sam quickly loses interest in. It’s empty. So, no demons wanting to rip their faces off. He hears Dean whistle and he grins. Dean has always loved cars. If they were rich (which they’re not, demon hunting doesn’t pay much) he imagines Dean would have a whole collection of vintage cars. One day, Sam will buy Dean one. He just has to get the money for it first.

Something sparks at the gas station, which grabs the attention of the two hunters and one medium. There’s a silver minivan parked outside of it and much like the tan one from earlier, the driver side door is open. Next to the car door, there’s a trail of blood. There’s a hole, probably from a bullet, in the windshield. Nothing and no one is around, so they turn to leave.

A gun cocks. 

The hunters and medium turn around, seeing a familiar face pointing a gun towards them. "Ellen?"

"Hello, boys."

She lowers the gun and walks closer. 

"Ellen, what the heck's going on here?" Dean asked.

She splashes Dean with holy water and raises the gun once more. Dean closes his eyes so Ellen can see the water has no affect on him. 

"We're us."

Ellen eyes them warily. "And him?" She asked, pointing the gun slightly in Klaus’s direction. "Who’s he? Why’s he here?"

"Legally speaking, I’m Number Four."

"Wait, what?!"

"Papa named my siblings and I numbers to dehumanize us." Klaus informed Sam. He thinks Klaus mentioned that before but too much has happened for him to know for sure. "Then Grace, the robot, decided to humanize us a bit and gave us actual names. I’m Klaus. Lover of drugs, medium to ghosts, and the only known gay sibling."

He brings a hand out to shake hers, but she just shoves the gun to his face. "Why are you here?"

"Because, I can do this." He said. He focuses on the gun and sends it flying from her hands and across the street. She looks, eyes wide. "I can also levitate, read emotions and thoughts, possess people, have ghosts possess me and-" He does jazz hands. "-back to life when killed."

"That’s... a lot of information."

"What can I say?" Klaus asked. "My life is a lot of information."

"Alright." Ellen said. "Uh, can you get me my gun?"

Klaus nods, using his telekinesis to bring the gun back. When he turns to face her, she splashes him with holy water. "I’m not a demon. Okay? I’m just a really weird human."

"Yeah, sorry." Ellen said. "Can’t be too careful."

"I understand."

-

Ellen walks inside the church, Sam, Dean, and their strange friend with the strange name following closely behind. There’s salt in the doorway, and Klaus steps over it with no problem. He frowns down at it once he’s inside. "No ghosts can get in here." 

"Yeah?"

"My brother’s a ghost." Klaus said. "It’s alright, though. He said he’s fine. He’ll keep an eye out for any demons."

"...Okay."

She turns around to face Sam and Dean, who have silently been watching the hunter and medium’s interaction with worried faces. Are they close with Klaus’s ghost brother too? These kids are weirder than she last remembers.

"Real glad to see you boys." She said, hugging Dean. When she pulls back so slaps him. Hard. "The can of whoopass I ought to open on you."

"Ow!"

"You can't pick up a phone?" She asked. "What are you, allergic to giving me peace of mind? I got to find out that you're alive from Rufus?"

"Sorry, Ellen." Dean said, sounding sincere.

"Yeah, you better be." Ellen said. "You better put me on speed dial, kid."

"Yes, ma'am."

Ellen stares at him. Did he really just call her ma’am? She’s older, sure, but surely not old enough to be addressed to as ‘ma’am’. Deciding to let it go, she turns around and leads the three men further inside and down the stairs.

"What's going on, Ellen?" Dean asked.

"More than I can handle alone."

"How many demons are there?" Sam asked.

"Pretty much the whole town, minus the dead people and these guys." Ellen explained. She turns to face the group behind her. "So, this is it, right? End times?"

Sam and Dean glance at each other.

"Oooh yeah." Klaus said, which earns him an elbow to the ribs. "Ouch!"

"Thought so." Ellen said. "We’ll discuss that later."

She knocks on a door.

"It's me."

Austin opens the peephole and then opens the door. She steps inside, Sam, Dean, and Klaus following closely behind. Austin holds up a gun.

"This is Sam and Dean and Klaus." She informed. "They're hunters and... uh, Klaus? What did you say you were again?"

"A medium." Klaus said.

"Yeah, a medium." Ellen said. "They’re here to help."

"You guys hip to this whole demon thing?" Austin asked.

"Yeah." Dean said. "Are you?"

"My wife's eyes turned black." Austin informed. "She came at me with a brick. Kind of makes you embrace the paranormal."

Roger holds up his ringed hand to his chin.

"All right, catch us up." Dean said.

"I doubt I know much more than you." Jo said. "Rufus called. Said he was in town investigating omens. All of a sudden, the whole town was possessed. Me and Jo were nearby—"

"You're hunting with Jo?" Dean asked, surprised.

After Jo’s Dad died on a hunt with Sam and Dean’s Dad, she refused to let Jo anywhere near a demon. Then Jo went on a case with Sam and Dean against her wishes, ran off and hunted on her own, got kidnapped by a possessed Sam, and Ellen realized Jo wouldn’t stop so to protect her, she started joining her daughter on hunts. Things were going pretty well. Until now...

"Yeah, for a while now." Ellen confirmed. "We got here, and the place—well, the place was like you see it. Couldn't find Rufus, then me and Jo got separated. I was out looking when I found you."

"Don't worry, we'll find her." Dean assured.

"Either way, these people cannot just sit here." Sam replied. The pregnant woman— who she has yet to learn’s name— startles while Roger plays with his ring. "We got to get them out now."

"No, it's not that easy." Ellen replied. "I've been trying. We already made a run for it once."

"What happened?"

"There used to be twenty of us." Ellen replied. 

"That explains all the ghosts..." Klaus said with a far away look in his eyes.

"Well, there's four of us now—"

"You don't know what it's like out there." Ellen said. "Demons are everywhere. We won't be able to cover everybody."

The pregnant woman looks even more nervous. Poor girl. Pregnancy is already stressful as is, add demons into the mix, it’s nearly impossible.

"What if we get everyone guns?"

"What, are you gonna arm up baby bump over here?" Dean asked, making the woman shrink in on herself. 

"More salt we can fire at once, more demons we can keep away." Sam said.

Dean looks at Sam, Klaus and then to the pastor. "There's a sporting goods store we passed on Main on the way in." He said. "I bet they got guns."

"All right." Sam said. "You stay. We'll go."

"What about—"

"If Jo and Rufus are out there, we'll bring them back." Sam said, already knowing what she was gonna say and cutting her off. He and Dean turn to leave, but stop when they notice Klaus isn’t moving. "Klaus?"

"I’m staying back." Klaus said, and continues speaking when Dean opens his mouth to argue. "I’m the only one here with powers and if someone or something attacks, they’ll need more than just guns and salt to protect them. Go on. We’ll be fine. I’m going to send Ben with you just in case."

Sam and Dean nod, then leave.

Two hours pass. Sam and Dean have long since returned with enough guns for whole a entire army and taught everyone how to use them. They’re sitting on the couch right now, saying something about teenagers. Ellen isn’t quite sure. Her anxiety is too bad right now, worrying about her baby girl.

If something happened to her she wouldn’t survive. How could she? Jo is her daughter and she’s supposed to protect her. She shouldn’t be hunting- she should be in college getting a degree of some sort. After Jo’s father was killed in a hunt, Ellen knew it’d be impossible for her to ever have a normal life, but man, Ellen really wanted to be wrong.

The fear becomes too much and Ellen stands and walks towards Sam and Dean to tell them she’s leaving. "Where you going?" Dean asked.

"I can't sit here on my ass." Ellen said. "My daughter's out there somewhere. I'm not back in half an hour, go. Get these people out of here."

Sam and Dean stand. "No, wait. I'll go with you." Sam said.

"Whoa, hold on." Dean said. "Can I talk to you for a second?"

She watches Dean drag Sam into another room, keeping the door open behind them. She can’t really hear what they’re saying, what with all the noise in the room. Klaus is talking about his childhood and his powers to Austin and the pregnant woman, who listen intently. Roger sits in the corner alone, fumbling with his ring and only half-listening to what Klaus is saying. The others are talking about their family and comforting each other. It’s so loud which only worsens her anxiety.

When Sam slams Dean into the wall, she looks over and manages to hear the end of their conversation. "If you actually think I—"

"What’s going on?" Klaus asked, standing up. All eyes are on the brother’s now.

"Nothing." Sam said, moving away from Dean and back into the room. "Ready, Ellen?"

"Um, yeah." Ellen said, following Sam outside. 

They pass a house with it’s sprinklers still on and a tan car. Both are abandoned. The whole town looks like a ghost town. It’ll never recover from what happened this past week. How could it? There’s only a handful of residents left. This town will be viewed as the town who slaughtered each other. No one will know why except for the very few hunters there are in the world.

"So where'd you see her last?" Sam asked, breaking the silence and stopping her racing mind.

"Up ahead." Ellen said. "So what's up with you and Dean?"

Sam doesn’t speak.

"It was hard not to notice, how different things are between you guys these days." Ellen replied. "Lot of bad road there, huh? What happened? Some girl come between you or something?"

"Just—stresses of the job." Sam said. "You know how it is. Kind of surprised, you and Jo hunting. Weren't you always saying she couldn't hack the life?"

"She can't." Ellen said. It’s true. "But if she's gonna do it anyway—"

"You want to keep an eye on her." Sam said, knowing what she was going to say. Sam furrows his brows. He points down the street and Ellen looks over. There’s smoke. "Hey."

"Is that a chimney going?" Ellen asked.

"Looks like it." Sam said. "Come on."

Sam and Ellen approach the house with smoke coming from the chimney cautiously. They hide and peer around the corner. From the house’s window, they see demons. "Guess we found base camp." Ellen said.

"Demons don't get cold." Sam said. "Makes you wonder what they're burning."

That’s when things go to shit.

Sam turns around the corner and Ellen is grabbed from behind. Sam notices, slams his gun into the black-eyed demon, and then another demon pins Ellen to the wall with a gun. It’s Jo. Jo is possessed. Her baby is possessed. Her baby is gonna kill her-

"Don't move, you evil skank!" The demon said.

The other demon grabs ahold of Sam’s gun and hits him with it. Sam slams the demon into a wall and Jo let’s go of Ellen for a second. Ellen breaks free, only to once more be pinned by her own daughter with a gun. Her eyes turn black.

"Don't you hurt her, don't you—"

"Give me my mom back, you black-eyed bitch!" Jo said, confusing Ellen. 

Ellen shoves Jo off her and hits her with the butt of her gun, knocking her to the ground.

"Ellen! Run!"

Ellen runs, leaving Sam alone to fight off the demons and feeling horrible for it. She prepares for what she’s gonna say to Dean and Klaus when she gets back. How is she gonna explain that Sam may be dead because she just had to find her daughter, who ended up being the cause of Sam’s death?

She arrives at the church.

With shaky hands, she knocks on the door.

-

Rufus was already not having a good day.

Of course, it just had to get 30 times worse. 

Everyone in the town is possessed. Jo, Ellen, and himself were fighting demons when they got separated. Rufus and Jo have worked tirelessly to find Ellen. And when they eventually did, she had Sam accompanying her. Only problem? Both hunters were possessed and Ellen managed to escape.

Which brings us to now.

Sam sits tied up in a chair next to the fireplace. He wakes up slowly and yanks on the ropes when he’s aware of them. He looks at Jo and Rufus with fear in his black eyes.

"Uh-uh." Rufus said. "No way you're getting out of those. Did you up myself. You're stuck right where I want you, you evil son of a bitch."

He slaps Sam and Jo splashes him in the face with holy water. It doesn’t affect him at all. Jo and Rufus share confused glances before putting their attention back to the possessed hunter, who is still struggling. Rufus grabs his neck and forces his head back. "No, wait, wait, wait."

Jo puts the jug down to help. 

"Just, just wait."

Rufus pours salt onto Sam’s face and mouth and begins the exorcism. "Exorcisamus te, exorcisamus te, omnis satanica—" 

"Stop!"

"—omnis immundum—"

"Please!" 

Rufus continues the exorcism, not listening to Sam’s pleas.

-

Pastor Timothy has dedicated his entire life to the Bible and God. 

So, it only makes sense that people are going to him now while demons terrorize the town. They know he can trust them, even if he isn’t quite sure what’s happening right now or how he can stop it. He puts on an act and tells everyone everything will be alright, and prays with them when asked. Which brings us to now.

Dean paces the room and Ivy lays on the cot with her husband, Kyle, sitting beside her, and Austin standing near and staring at Klaus, who keeps whispering to himself. Meanwhile, Pastor Timothy sits at the table with Debbie, Andy, and Audrey, reading scripture and praying. "The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want." He said. "He layeth me down in green pastures, and he raiseth me up again. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I shall fear no evil."

Suddenly, someone pounds on the door. Dean rushes to answer it.

"Where's Sam?"

All eyes fall onto the new person entering. It’s Ellen. She shakes her head and sits at the table, near Audrey, who hands her a bottle of water which she gladly accepts. 

Klaus looks at them, concerned. "Did he... did he die?" 

"Not that I know of." Ellen replied, taking a sip from the bottle.

"So, they took him?" Ivy asked, panicked. "Demons took him? Oh my gosh. What if they're in here? The demons?"

"Could they get in?" Pastor Timothy asked.

"No." Dean, Klaus, and Ellen said unison.

Dean grabs his gun and goes for the door. "Everybody sit tight. I got to—"

Dean stops at the door, hand on the doorknob and deep in thought. He looks back. With a sigh and a grimace, he turns back around and sits at the table, next to Ellen. 

"Okay, we need to get a plan together." He said. "Tell me everything."

-

Jo holds Sam’s head back while Rufus pours salt on his face. "Please! Come on!"

"—omnis immundus—"

Rufus gives up and so does Jo. Nothing is happening. She grabs the water jug to pour it on Sam’s face once more. "Look! Something's not right!" Sam said. "Do you see that?"

Jo knows that this isn’t right. Exorcisms send demon’s back to Hell, salt expels the demon from the host’s body, and holy water burns their skin. Nothing she does affects Sam. Part of her wonders if he’s been possessed.

Still, she splashes him with water.

"Come on!" Sam pleaded. "Stop! Listen to me!"

Jo goes to grab something with Rufus, leaving Sam to shout.

"Listen!"

The two hunters huddle in a corner.

"Why isn't it working?" Jo asked.

"I don't know." Rufus said. 

The two look over at Sam, whose eyes are still black. He’s yelling again. "Look, listen to me, something's not right!"

"But he's not as strong as he thinks he is." Rufus said.

"You can see that." Sam said. "Please. Please. Just listen to me."

Jo and Rufus look at him.

-

Austin served in the military for years. He’s killed people, almost gotten killed, and watched people be killed. He’s held his friends in his arms as they bled out from a fatal wound. He’s screamed for help only for no one to come. He’s lived the end times.

Sitting here now, hiding in the church’s basement from demons who want to rip off his face and eat it, he realizes that definitely wasn’t the end, because this is the end.

From the table, Ellen and Dean are talking. "Dean, one of them's in Jo." Ellen said. "We got to get it out without hurting her." She snorts. Which is... weird. Her daughter is possessed and she’s laughing. "It called me a bitch."

"Bruise a little easy, don't you think?" Dean asked.

"No, that's not what I meant." Ellen is quick to explain. "It called me a black-eyed bitch."

Wait. What?!

"What kind of demons are these?" Ellen asked. "Holy water and salt roll right off. My daughter may be an idiot, but she's not stupid. She wears an anti-possession charm. It's all kind of weird, right?"

"The whole thing's off." Dean agrees.

"What's your instinct?" Ellen asked.

"My instinct?" Dean asked. "My instinct is to call Bobby and ask for help. Or Sam. Or Klaus, who is right here, but he sorta looks like he’s on the verge of a mental breakdown and I don’t think he can handle this right now."

"I can." Klaus said, unconvincingly. Austin pats him on the arm and frowns when Klaus flinches back. This kid is strange. 

"Yeah, he definitely can’t." Ellen agreed, looking at Klaus with wary eyes. "Which means, all you got's me, and all I got's you. So let's figure it out."

"All right." Dean said and Ellen smiles. "Do you know why Rufus came to town? Was there a specific omen?"

"He said something about water." Ellen said. "That's all I know."

"Padré, you know what she's talking about—the water?" Dean asked, turning to Pastor Timothy who looks up upon being called on.

"The river." Pastor Timothy said. "Ran polluted all of a sudden."

"When?"

"Last Wednesday." Austin said. "And the demon thing started up the next day."

"Anything else?" Dean asked. "Anything."

"Maybe, but it's pretty random." Austin said.

"Good." Dean said. "Random's good."

"Shooting star—does that count?"

Dean and Ellen share a look. Shit. Are they making fun of him? Are they laughing at him right now?! He was just trying to help. Oh gosh he’s gotta fix this. He can’t spare any details. He’s gotta tell them everything.

"Real big." Austin said. "Same night. Wednesday."

"That definitely counts." Dean said.

Dean walks towards the bookshelf and grabs something from it. When he returns, Austin sees it’s a Bible. He begins flipping through it. "So, uh, you think that all this comes from outer space?" Austin asked to break the silence.

"This isn't X-Files, pal." Dean said. He stops on a page. "’And there fell a great star from heaven, burning like a torch, and it fell upon the river, and the name of the star was Wormwood. And many men died.’"

"Revelation eight ten." Pastor Timothy said. "Are you saying that this is about the apocalypse?"

The apocalypse. That’s not good. Not at all.

"Oooh yeah." Klaus said. Dean glares at him.

"These specific omens, they're prelude to what?" Dean asked.

"The Four Horsemen." Pastor Timothy said.

"And which one rides the red horse?"

"War." 

"That cherry Mustang parked on Main."

"You can't think that a car—" Pastor Timothy said.

"It's the way I'd roll." Dean said. "I mean, think about it. It all makes sense. If War is a dude and he's here, maybe he's messing with our heads."

"Turning us on each other." Ellen said.

"You said Jo called you a black-eyed bitch." Dean said. "They think we're demons, we think they're demons. What if there are no demons at all and we're all just killing each other?"

"Wait, just back up." Pastor Timothy said. "It's the apocalypse?"

"Sorry, Padré."

Pastor Timothy blinks several times.

"Guys." Klaus said, standing up. "Where’s Roger?"

Everyone looks around and sees Roger is missing. Which means...

Shit.

"I think Roger is War." 

-

War has existed almost as long the world, so it’s fitting for him to be there when it ends. 

Sam sits in the center of the room, still tied up and still being taken Jo and Rufus’s prisoner. War smirks slightly and enters. "Who the hell are you?" Sam asked literally the second War’s foot touches the ground. He removes his glasses. "What are you?"

"You caught me." War said. "Popped in to watch. I can hustle like that."

"So, the Roger everyone around here knows, the real Roger?"

He wasn’t quite expecting that question, but he answers it truthfully. "Buried in a ditch." Poor Roger struggled. Pleaded for War to let him live. But War needed to hide, and what better hiding place is inside the man an entire town loved and trusted? 

War closes the door and sits in a chair facing Sam, who rolls his eyes. "So who are you?"

"Here's a hint." War said. "I was in Germany. Then in Germany. Then in the Middle East. I was in Darfur when my beeper went off. I'm waiting to hook up with my siblings. I've got three. We're going to have so much fun together."

Sam nods, seemingly understanding exactly what War is.

"I know who you are." Sam said. "There aren't any demons in town, are there?"

"Nope." Wat said. "Just frightened people ripping each other's throats out. I really haven't had to do too much. Take out a bridge here, lay in a little hallucination there, sit back, pop some corn, watch the show. Frankly, you're really vicious little animals, Sam."

"No." Sam said. "You're doing this."

"Please." War said. He hasn’t done anything. He made everyone hallucinate, that’s it. They all slaughtered each other and that’s not on him. "Last week, this was Mayberry. Now these people are stabbing each other's children."

"'Cause you made them see demons!"

"Honestly, people don't need a reason to kill each other." War said. It’s true. "I mean, you seen the Irish? They're all Irish." Sam rolls his eyes. "You think I'm a monster. I'm jello shots at a party. I just remove inhibitions."

"I'm gonna kill you myself." Sam said.

War laughs. Can you believe this dude? "Oh, that's adorable, considering you're my poster boy." War said, booping the tall hunter on the nose. He flinches and frowns.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Sam asked.

"You can't stop thinking about it, ever since you saw it dripping off the blade of that knife." War said. Sam is an addict who needs help but still hasn’t been gotten it yet, and without help addicts stay addicts. Maybe he’s not using, but he wants to. He wants to so bad that it psychically hurts him.

"You're wrong."

"Save your protests for your brothers." War replied. "I can see inside your head. And man, it is one-track city in there. Blood, blood, blood. Lust for power. Same as always. You want to be strong again. But not just strong. Stronger than everybody. Good intentions—quick slide to hell, buddy boy. You feel bad now? Wait till you're thigh deep in warm corpses. Because, my friend, I'm just getting started." He puts his glasses on and stands. "Showtime for the meatsuits. Watch this."

War twists his ring and blood pours from his forehead. He kicks over his own chair, collapses, and then screams. Rufus comes first, Jo following closely behind. He looks up at them with wide, fearful eyes.

"He did it!"

"No!" Sam denied. 

"He said they're coming!" War cried out. "He said they're coming to get us!

"No, stop!" Sam said. "Jo, Rufus, he's lying! No!"

"You shut your mouth!" Rufus demanded.

"Please!" Sam continues. "Jo! He's lying!"

War watches with a slight grin on his face as Rufus backhands Sam.

Twenty minutes later, he finds himself outside of the church’s basement, hearing voices from inside. "So you’re saying that there are no demons and War is Roger?" He recognizes that voice as Austin’s.

"You believed crazy before." Dean replied. "And Klaus is right, Roger is hella suspicious. I mean, the second we showed up, he was gone."

War sighs and then hammers on the door. Only Klaus, Ellen, and Dean are suspicious. Maybe he can turn this thing around. "Open up!" War said. "It's Roger!"

The peephole opens. It’s Austin.

Austin opens the door and lets War in. "I saw them, the demons." War said. "They know we're trying to leave. They said they're gonna pick us off one by one."

"Wait wait wait." Dean said. "What?"

"I thought you said there were no demons." Austin said, turning to Dean.

"There's not." Dean and Klaus said in unison.

"Where did you go?" Dean asked.

"I thought someone should go out and see what's going on!" War replied. 

"Where did you see the demons and what did they say exactly?" Dean asked.

"We just sit here, we're going to be dead." Austin said.

"No, we're not!" Dean and Klaus said unison.

"They're gonna kill us unless we kill them first."

"Hold on." Dean said. "Hold on."

"No, man, we got people to protect." Austin replied. Oh, how nice. War likes that kid. "All right, the able-bodied go hunt some demons."

Austin starts handing out demons. 

"Whoa whoa whoa." Dean said. "Slow your roll. This is not a demon thing."

"Yeah, it’s not a demon thing!" Klaus said. "Just calm down, let’s stay here, and we’ll talk about how Roger is literally War!"

"What!?" War asked. "I am not! Also, do you realize how insane you sound? War isn’t a man. War is something that happens, not something that lives."

"First of all, I am not insane." Klaus said, pointing a finger at Wad. "Also, War is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse- which we are in, by the way, we’ve been in it for over a week now. And, wanna know how I know Roger is War? I saw Roger’s ghost when we arrived. He had a bullet hole in his head. I didn’t think much of it when we came to the church, I thought maybe, you had a twin. I realize now that’s not the case and you’re just an evil son of a bitch who murdered an innocent man."

War glares at Klaus. He holds up his hand and twists his ring. Suddenly, Klaus, Dean and Ellen’s eyes are black. "Look at their eyes!" War said. "They're demons!"

That’s enough for everyone to believe him. Pastor Timothy raises his gun, Ivy gasps. Austin, Kyle, and Andy stand around the ‘demons’.

"Shit." Dean, Ellen, and Klaus said unison.

"Alright." Klaus said. "I really didn’t wanna do this, but it appears I’ve got no other choice." 

His eyes and fists glow blue. A wave of blue light comes across the room, and everyone but Ivy, who Klaus somehow managed to avoid hitting with the blast, goes flying into the wall. Klaus turns to Ellen and Dean, who stare with wide eyes.

"What are you looking at?" Klaus asked. "Go, damnit!"

They rush out the door and Austin, already having recovered from being thrown, grabs ahold of his gun and shoots blindly. War watches this all play out, triumphant.

Four minutes later, they’re preparing for the battle and loading their guns with salt. 

War looks around the room to make sure everyone’s got a weapon and notices Austin’s gun is filled with actual bullets. "Those are real." He commented.

"Those three could have been demons the entire time." Austin replied. "It’d explain how that thing did what he did. Also, all this salt and holy water talk—as far as I'm concerned, it's all crap."

Oh, Austin. You think you know everything. "Are you sure?"

"It's them or us."

He’s got a point. "I think I saw some knives in the kitchen."

"Great." Austin said. "Go."

War starts walking to the kitchen, a smirk on his face the whole time.

-

Roger- the real fucking Roger, not whatever murdered him and stole his body- watches as Jo and Rufus place bombs throughout the house. 

He doesn’t quite understand what is happening or why it’s happening, but from what he gathered when listening in on Sam’s conversation with his own body and talking to the Asian teen ghost that sits outside the church, War is a man and he’s here because it’s the end times.

Which is... incredibly terrifying.

"Hey, Rufus." Jo said, holding two bombs in both her hands.

"Yeah."

"Pipe bombs won't kill a demon."

Rufus looks down at the window. "Right." He said. "But in my experience, demons come at you slower if they're in a body with no limbs." He closes the curtains.

"One of them is in my mother." Jo said. Apparently, one of black-eyed ‘demons’ is her Mom, who’s raised her on her own since her Dad died when she was ten. They’re very close and they’ve been hunters for pretty much their entire lives, and from everything Roger has seen and heard, they’re pretty good at what they do. 

It’s a shame they aren’t just half a brain cell smarter, because maybe then they’d realize this is all a hallucination brought to them by War and that there’s never been and never will be any demons here.

Roger sighs.

It appears all hunters are dumbasses.

"Jo, listen to me." Rufus said. "You know I'm gonna do everything I can. Your mom's gonna be okay."

Jo nods. "Unless she comes through that window."

Rufus doesn’t speak. Jo hands him the next bomb. 

Time passes. Jo and Rufus move from bombs and onto guns, which isn’t much better, but hey, Roger thinks it’s less likely to kill, right? He hopes. If not, then this story will have an extremely tragic end. Not that it was a fairytale to begin with.

There’s an explosion and Roger prays to the God isn’t quite sure he believes in that whoever just when kabloom wasn’t Jo’s Mom or anyone innocent. Basically, he hopes no one was in the blast. Except for War. It’d be nice if it were War.

Rufus and Jo both duck and glance at each other before readying their guns and looking around. The blast totally destroyed the room, but otherwise, it’s empty- just the two of them. No sign of any other life forms except for Sam, who still sits tied up in another room. Poor guy. If he weren’t dead, he’d help Sam escape, but ghosts are pretty much useless, it seems. 

"We’re actually quite powerful, you just have to learn how to be a ghost right, first." The Asian ghost from early said, appearing from nowhere. "I’d appreciate if you didn’t call me ‘the Asian ghost’, Roger. My name is Ben."

"How did you-"

"You think out loud, genius." 

Suddenly, an invisible force throws Rufus through a window. "Rufus!" 

Ben and Roger share a look before heading outside.

-

This is not how Klaus wished to spend his Thursday.

The other day when Rufus called for help, he was more than willing to travel to River Pass, kick some demon ass, and then go back home to catch up on some much needed sleep. Of course, it wasn’t a quick case like he was told it’d be. Because there aren’t any demons, just normal humans who are killing each other ‘cause War is a man who’s making them hallucinate to see each other as demons, and if someone says Roger is War and there aren’t any demons, then people will assume you’re a demon and try to kill you. 

Which brings us to now, where Klaus and Dean are having an actual battle with Rufus while Jo and Ellen fight in the house.

Klaus pulls Rufus out of the window and onto the ground, and Dean hauls him up and slams him into the wall. Rufus’s eyes are black, but Klaus knows he isn’t really possessed. It’s a hallucination. That’s it. Nothing more, nothing less.

"Klaus, get Sam." Dean demands. 

Klaus nods and sneaks into the house. He passes Ellen and Jo fighting as he rushes up the stairs, looking for the younger Winchester. Klaus bursts through the living room door and finds Sam, tied up and covered in salt and water. He looks at Klaus with wide eyes. "Klaus." Sam said. "It’s not demon’s."

"It's War." Klaus and Sam said in unison.

"Any idea how he’s doing what he’s doing?" Klaus asked, cutting Sam free.

"The ring." Sam replied. Klaus’s eyes widen. It makes so much sense. He’s always fumbling with the thing and before everyone thought Dean, Ellen, and Klaus were demons, he twisted the ring then pointed at them and suddenly everyone thought they were black-eyed.

"You’re right!" Klaus said, gasping. "You’re a genius, Sammy. Before everyone turned against Dean, Ellen and I, I accused Roger of being War and then he twisted his ring and suddenly, everyone started hallucinating. It’s the ring. We need to get it from him before everyone in this town ends up dead."

"Yeah." Sam said. "Let’s go."

They stand and start rushing to the door. Before opening it back up, Klaus turns to Sam. "Are you alright?" He asked. "You’re feeling a lot of guilt and temptation right now. Is it the demon blood? Are you craving again?"

"What?" Sam asked. "Of course not."

"Okay..." Klaus said, unsure. Suddenly, there’s gunshots. "We gotta go now."

"I agree." Sam said. "Come on!"

The two rush out of the room and down the stairs, where Dean, Ellen, Jo, and Rufus are waiting for them, no longer fighting. However, when Jo sees Klaus, she and Rufus point a gun at him. "Who are you?!" Jo demands.

"I’m Klaus!" Klaus said, hands up. "Klaus Hargreeves!"

"Guys, it’s fine." Sam said. "He isn’t a threat. He’s a friend. A brother."

Klaus’s heart flutters- brother. Sam and Dean see him as a brother. He already knew this, but hearing it said out loud...

"Oh." Jo said, dropping her gun. "Okay."

"Sorry, kiddo." Rufus said, doing the same. "I think Bobby mentioned you before."

Klaus shrugs. "It’s alright."

Gunshots.

"Those sound close." Ellen said. "What’s the plan?"

"We calm them down, tell them what’s going on, and then we defeat War." Sam said. "It shouldn’t be too hard. We got through to you guys and you’re most stubborn people I know."

"I don’t know about that, Samuel." Klaus said. "I mean, we told them before Roger is War, and they tried attacking us. I had to fling them through the air so we could escape, and they started shooting at us even after we were out of the room. War wants them to fight, so they’re going to fight."

"Klaus is right." Ellen said. "It ain’t gonna be easy."

"But we’re gonna win." Dean said. "We’re gonna get them to see the truth, and together, we’re gonna take down War. Get justice for all the people who died here this week."

More gunshots. This time, they sound like they’re right outside.

"Ready?" Rufus asked.

"As ready as I’ll ever be." Sam said. 

They walk outside and prepare for a fight they hope doesn’t happen. 

A fight does happen, in the end. 

Rufus is forced to knock someone out and the Pastor- who does not like being called Daddy- got shot. Ellen almost got shot in the face, but the dudes gun was out of bullets and Klaus threw him off her before he could get ahold of another one and finish the job. Sam and Dean literally cut War’s fingers off and he lost his ring, so he’s lost all his powers. The town is back to normal, minus like 400 people. Basically. A lot of shit— way too much shit— has happened this week and Klaus wants to go home.

He hasn’t slept and has barely eaten. His head hurts so bad, every movement makes him nauseous. He’s dizzy and his skin is so pale it’s almost grey. His hair is messy from not being washed. He doesn’t look much different from the ghosts that haunt him. 

He needs food. He needs a bath. And he needs sleep.

And it looks like he may just get those things soon.

The hunters wish each other goodbye then hop in their cars and head their separate ways. Things are calm now. Yeah, Bobby is still in a wheelchair, but he’s not on his deathbed. And yeah, the apocalypse is happening, but there’s no one fighting or separated. Sam feels guilt, Dean feels suspicious, sure, but they’re all together. 

Until Sam leaves.

He says he can’t trust himself anymore. That his addiction is still bad. That he needs to take a break from hunting and them. That he’s afraid of what may happen if he doesn’t. Klaus totally understands him. 

But it still hurts.

The taller hunter hops in a car and drives away. Klaus watches as it disappears, and with it, Ben, just to keep an eye on the hunter. When they’re gone, a hand touches his shoulder and squeezes it, reassuringly. "It’ll be alright, kid." Dean said. "Ready to go home?"

Klaus nods. They head home.

When they get inside Bobby’s house and ready for bed, Klaus manages to sneak a knife from the kitchen. He says a quick goodnight to Dean and locks his room. Although he knows he’s immortal, he still writes a quick note in case that somehow changes. 

At 3:23AM, three hours since Dean started snoring, Klaus jumps out of bed and grabs the knife hidden under his dresser. He looks up. "You better agree to help or at least give me answers as to why you haven’t yet."

With shaky hands, he lifts the knife...

...And then stabs himself in the chest.

His world goes dark.

Then, it’s bright.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To my readers who celebrate it, Merry Christmas! 
> 
> And in case I don’t update again this year, Happy New Year! 
> 
> Can you believe this year is finally over?! I can’t! I thought it’d never end. This year has been rough, but it’s also been alright in some ways, too. For instance, I finally found something I’m passionate about, my Mom finally got a job after searching for one for years, my family and I moved into a bigger, nicer apartment, I got closer with my friends, and I got back into writing. 
> 
> Obviously it still sucked. I’m just trying to focus on the good parts of it. 
> 
> Anyway, Merry Christmas! Have a good day/night, and be safe!


	3. Lucifer’s True Vessel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean slaps him in the face. "Don’t commit suicide again!"
> 
> Or,
> 
> No matter what it is, he knows this is real.
> 
> "That's right." The man said. "You know who I am."
> 
> "Lucifer."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year! And sorry for the wait. 
> 
> Life has been sorta shitty lately, ngl. My Dad basically said my Mom, my sisters, and I deserved to be abused because he was ‘stressed’ with work, my Mom lost her job, my glasses broke, and my 12-year-old cousin may have breast cancer. It’s just hard to write when everything in your life seems to be going wrong, y’know?
> 
> Anyway. This chapter isn’t the greatest. I’ll be the first to admit that. But, it is delving deeper into the plot so it’s important. 
> 
> Some TWs because this chapter does touch on some serious things: Suicide aftermath, (temporary) major character death, violence, forced sex (almost), prostitution, and if you think of anymore tell me because it’s 4am and I’m too tired to think rn.

God stares down in disappointment at the unconscious man laying before her.

"Klaus." She said, not bothering to hide the annoyance in her voice. No answer. "Klaus." Again, nothing. "Damnit Klaus!" She kicks him in the ribs, hard. He shoots into a sitting position and pants. "Good. I thought you were dead."

He coughs. "I am."

"I know." God said, reaching a hand out. "It was a joke."

"Oh..." Klaus said, accepting the hand and standing. "It wasn’t funny."

She slaps him.

"Ouch!" He said. "I’m sorry! It was hilarious!"

"No, you dumbass!" God said. "Not that, obviously not that. I slapped you because I’m pissed off at you! Why did you kill yourself? I told you I needed your help and you can’t help me if you’re dead!"

"I needed to ask a question."

"Praying exists, you know."

"Yeah, but those tend to get ignored." Klaus said. God glares at him, even if what he’s saying is partly true. "I’m sorry. Please don’t slap me again."

"Don’t give me a reason to and I won’t." God warns. "What did you need to ask me?"

"Can you stop Lucifer?"

"No."

"Why not?!" Klaus asked, voice loud. He’s angry. It’s quite obvious. And God knows exactly why. "You claim to love Your creation, then why are You sitting back when it’s being destroyed?! I need You! The world needs You! Why aren’t You helping us?!"

"Klaus." God said, Her voice calm in hopes it’ll calm him down. However, it has little affect on the medium. If anything, it just pisses him off more. "I wish I could help."

"Then why don’t you?" Klaus asked. When God doesn’t answer, he paces the room, shaking his head and laughing silently. "You know, you’ve got all the power in the world, you could stop this with one thought. And you won’t. You’re too busy creating useless things like ants or mosquitoes! Like, what’s their purpose?! To steal our food? To annoy humans?!"

"I feel like we’re getting off track-"

"No, I’m perfectly on track!" Klaus snapped. "’Cause you’re wasting your power on things like ants and mosquitoes when you could be saving the damn world!"

Silence.

"I feel like this isn’t about mosquitos or ants."

"Of course it isn’t!" Klaus said. "It’s about You not helping us stop Lucifer!"

"You didn’t even ask why I can’t!" God said. "You just assumed it’s because I don’t want to!"

"Fine." Klaus said, portraying faux-calmness. God sees right through it. He obviously isn’t calm. He’s pissed! "Why are you letting Lucifer take over the world and kill each and every one of your oh-so-loved creations? Do tell me. I’d love to know."

God glares at him. "It’s like you want me to slap you again."

"It’s like you don’t want to save the world- oh wait!" Klaus said. "You don’t!"

She slaps him. Harder this time. "I do, dumbass!"

"Then why won’t you help us!" Klaus said, voice sounding desperate. "I can’t save the world. Lucifer is bigger than I am. I need your help. The world needs your help."

God looks down at her hands as if they’re the most interesting things in the world. "I know, Klaus." God said. "I really, really know and I really, really wanna help you. I just... I can’t. And before you get mad and accuse me of not giving a shit about my creations, I need you to know why."

"Okay." Klaus said, calm. This time, it isn’t faux-calmness. It’s genuine calmness. He’s actually willing to hear what She has to say. "I-I’m sorry. Why can’t you help?"

"It may take awhile to explain..."

"I’ve got all the time in the world." Klaus said. "Tell me."

God smiles slightly, then dives into Her past.

-

When Dean woke up at 5:56AM because of a nightmare, he did not expect to find a large puddle of blood seeping out from his surrogate brother’s door and a note taped to the wall that simply read, “Sorry :(“. 

He also didn’t expect to throw open the door to find Klaus laying flat on his back, eyes rolled to the back of his skull and a fresh knife wound in his chest. 

He probably should have, but face it, Dean assumed Klaus murdered someone and was apologizing for it. He would much rather have that happen then this. 

"Klaus." He said after a minute of just staring. Careful not to slip in the blood, he rushes toward Klaus and puts his hands on the injury to stop it from bleeding further. "Klaus!"

There’s no response and that causes Dean to break down. 

How long has he been dead? Is it sticking this time? How will Dean tell Sam? Or Bobby? Damnit. Bobby is already so depressed, this may just push him over the edge! He’s already ruined his relationship with Sammy, if he lost Bobby and Klaus he’d have no reason to go on. Damnit. Damnit. Damnit.

"Damnit Klaus!" Dean said, voice breaking. "Damn you, Castiel!"

Suddenly, Castiel appears. "You needed me?"

Dean jumps up and pins the Angel against the wall. "You did this!"

"No I didn’t." Castiel said with a frown. "Klaus did. I was nowhere near. You cannot blame me for your friends suicidal tendencies, Dean."

"You’re the one who gave him the idea!"

"Oh, yes." Castiel said. "You’re right. I am sorry."

"Are you really?"

A beat of silence. "I don’t think you’d like my answer if I told you."

Dean raises his fist to punch the Angel, but only drops it in defeat. "Can you heal him?"

"We’ve been over this, Dean."

"Yeah, yeah," Dean said. "you lost your mojo. I know."

Castiel stares at him. "That’s now what it’s called-"

Klaus wakes up.

He jumps to his feet and rushes out of the room. Dean and Cas frown at each other, then run after the younger man. When they find him, they see him leaning against the tub in the bathroom with blood around his mouth. His skin is still grayish and his lips are tinted with blue. The wound on his chest is still bleeding, but not enough for him to bleed out. Still, Klaus looks dead. If it weren’t for him moving around and breathing, Dean would think he was. 

"Did God say anything?" Castiel asked because apparently, he can’t read the room. 

"Cas, not the time." Dean said. "Hey, kiddo. You okay?"

"My head is pounding and I’m dizzy and I regret everything I’ve ever ate in my whole entire life but..." Klaus said. "I’m great. Peachy, even. What about you?"

"A bit pissed off." Dean said. "You killed yourself!"

"Yeah, to save the world." Klaus said, closing his eyes. "Turns out, I can’t save the world. Wanna know why? That little girl I’ve been talking to isn’t actually God. It’s a stupid reaper messing with me. Guess the Angels were right, Dean-o. I’m completely, totally, and utterly useless."

"That’s not true." Dean said with a frown. "You’re not useless."

Klaus shrugs.

"What do you mean, that wasn’t God?" Castiel asked. "Klaus, that war our only lead!"

"I can’t control who’s God and who isn’t." Klaus said. "Sorry, Cas." 

"It’s fine." Castiel replied. "I will have to resume the search myself. If you do not mind, I will be leaving now. Goodbye, Klaus, Dean."

"Bye." Dean said. The Angel vanishes, leaving Dean alone with the young medium, who  
he turns his attention to. Klaus holds his hand against wound, eyes squeezed tight. "Hey, kid. Are you sure you’re alright?"

"Yeah-" Klaus is cut off by a sharp breath. He’s not alright, he’s in pain. "I’m great."

"Uh huh." Dean said. "I’m gonna get the first aid kit. Don’t move."

"Couldn’t if I wanted to."

Dean nods once and goes to fetch the first aid kit. When he arrives, Klaus has his eyes closed and for just a second, Dean fears he’s dead again. 

But then he opens his eyes and gives Dean an annoyed look. "I’m not dead."

"Well, excuse me for being worried." Dean said. "You did just kill yourself an hour ago."

Klaus rolls his eyes but doesn’t speak.

"Can you lift your shirt?" Dean asked.

"Buy me a drink first."

Dean gives him a look and he complies. The wound is healed enough for the medium not to sleep out, but he’ll probably need a bit of stitches. Luckily Dean is an expert in those. That’s what happens when you grow up hunting, you get hurt and can’t go to the hospital cause how do you explain your injuries were caused by a werewolf? You get stitched up but you also get thrown in a mental hospital. So, dear ol’ John with his A+ parenting skills, would teach them to stop themselves from bleeding out.

"Why you’d do this?" Dean asked. "You said you didn’t want to die again."

"I didn’t." Klaus said. "I also didn’t want the world to end, so..."

"Uh huh." Dean said. "So, you never met God?"

"Nope." Klaus said. "I met a stupid reaper. Bitch tricked me into thinking she was God. I can’t believe I believed her."

For some reason, Dean doesn’t quite believe Klaus. He’ll ask later. "Okay." He said, putting the dental floss and needle away and applying the bandage onto his chest. "You’re all done. I’ve got some instructions you gotta follow though, okay? Just so you make a complete recovery."

"Okay, what are they?"

Dean slaps him in the face. "Don’t commit suicide again!"

"Ouch!" Klaus said, holding his face. "Sheesh. You’re the second person to do that to me today and it’s only-" He looks around the room then grabs ahold of Dean’s arm. "6:39AM."

"It’s ‘cause you’re a dumbass." Dean said. "You wouldn’t get slapped so much if you were smarter."

"Hey!"

"I’m sorry, but it’s true." Dean said. "Who else slapped you?"

"The reaper." Klaus said. "Because I died. Again."

Dean nods. "Sounds like we got one thing in common." He said. "Neither one of us want you to die."

Klaus looks down at his hands. "I’m sorry you saw me like that." He said, meeting Dean’s eyes. "I know what it’s like seeing someone you care about dead. It’s horrible."

"It is." Dean said. "But, it’s fine. You were trying to save the world. And it’s not the first time I’ve seen a sibling dead. I mean, I sold my soul so I wouldn’t have to see Sam dead any longer. And you know about Adam..."

"Yeah." Klaus said. "I’m sorry I made you relive that, though."

"Just don’t do it again, alright?"

"No promises." Klaus said. Dean gives him a look. "Hey, look at our line of work! I’ll probably die like, three-thousand more times before it finally sticks. You better get used to seeing me dead- because honey, this definitely won’t be the last time."

"Klaus." Dean said. "At least promise me, you’ll try to avoid dying, okay?"

"That, I can promise." Klaus said. He stands up on shaky feet and looks around. "Okay. We should clean up my room. If anyone comes in here, they’ll think someone died."

"Someone did die." Dean said. "But yeah, we need to clean."

Klaus walks past Dean and out of the room. Dean stays for a second, thinking about what Klaus said about God- or, the reaper. A part of him knows what Klaus said is probably true. Another part of him suspects Klaus of lying. 

What would a reaper be gaining from this? 

And most importantly, what is Klaus hiding?

-

Time passes quickly and Sam doesn’t waste a second of it to get his life together.

After burning his fake IDs, getting rid of some weapons, choosing a new name for himself and driving around for a bit, he eventually ends up in some city in Oklahoma. He gets a job at a bar and moves into a motel nearby. Everything is fine.

If seeing your dead girl friend at night is fine.

Yep. Since his arrival in Garber, he’s started hallucinating his first love, Jessica. Which may be a cause of concern, but it may also not be. Maybe her ghost is paying him a visit. Maybe he’s hallucinating from the demon blood or lack thereof. Maybe he’s dead.

He doesn’t know. He doesn’t wanna know. He can’t know.

Because this is it. His fresh start. No more demons, no more Angels, no more brothers, no more ghosts, no more brothers who can see ghosts. Nothing Supernatural is going on in his life because for once, he’s normal.

And he’s happy.

At least, that’s what he tells himself.

The truth is- he hasn’t been happy in a very, very long time. If anything, being where he is right now makes him even more unhappy. He misses Dean, he misses Bobby, he misses Klaus, and even though he’s sure he’s here, he misses Ben. It sucks. 

Everything about all of this sucks. 

Why did he have to be a freak? 

Why couldn’t he just have been normal? 

Why is he so addicted to the very thing that made him a monster? 

Why did he like the way being a monster made him feel? 

Why couldn’t have he realized Ruby was a lying bitch sooner? 

Why could he not save Jess? 

Why is it that everything he touches breaks under his fingers?

Sam clings onto his pillow, and cries.

-

Nearly three months have passed since Sam and Ben left and Klaus really misses his brothers. 

Deep down, he knows it’s for the best. Sam isn’t in the right headspace to hunt or be left alone, so he had to go and Ben had to go with him. It’s hard, but it had to be done. And it’s not like they never see or hear from each other anymore.

Sam calls Klaus once a month and Ben shows up every night after Sam dozes off. He catches him up on Sam’s life without giving any details as to where they’re at, but he does tell him he’s living at a motel and working at a bar nearby and that he seems to be okay, except for the fact he’s been crying a lot and talking to himself. Which is strange, but hey, their lives are strange. No big deal.

And then Ben leaves.

Klaus doesn’t tell him about his suicide. Ben is too busy taking care of Sam to worry about him, and besides, if he told him he’d have to lie about God the same way he did with Dean, and there’s one rule the brothers have with each other- no lying. That is a rule Klaus doesn’t intend to break.

Dean and Klaus have kept themselves busy with hunting the three months Sam has been away. Klaus sits back for the first few hunts because of his injury, but when it’s healed more, he’s quick to join the fights. 

It’s nighttime and they’re at a motel. They just got done chopping the heads off of vampires and they’re both tired but not enough to sleep. Dean is cleaning his jacket at the sink and Klaus is knitting a sweater. He doesn’t know who exactly he’s making it for, but he’ll probably give it to the next person who wanders into the room. 

Just as he finishes that thought, Castiel appears behind Dean

Dean startles upon seeing Castiel in the mirror, but Klaus isn’t fazed at all. He’s used to that. Five rarely walked. He always popped in-and-out of the room without any warning whatsoever. Sure, when Five discovered that ability, it took some time to getting used to. And then he left, and he had to get used to that not happening anymore. When Cas appears, it just brings those memories all back. It’s almost comforting. 

"Gosh!" Dean said, hitting the sink. "Don’t do that."

"Hello, Dean." Castiel said. He then turns to Klaus. "Hello, Klaus."

He turns his attention back to Dean, who is now staring directly at him. Their faces are only about an inch apart. If Klaus didn’t know better, he’d say they were about to kiss. "Aw." He said, snapping a picture. "You two would make such a lovely couple."

Dean and Cas look at Klaus and then back at each other. Dean rolls his eyes in annoyance "Cas, we've talked about this." He said. "Personal space?"

"My apologies." Castiel said, stepping away.

Dean grabs his jacket and Klaus stands to do the same. "Hey, Cas." He said, then throws the sweater to Castiel, who catches it without issue. "I knit you this." The Angel scans his and frowns as if he’s unaware of what it is. Which... it’s obvious what it is. "It’s a sweater."

"It is." Castiel said. "I’m sorry, Klaus. I’m afraid I will never wear this."

"Hey, hey, hey." Dean said, putting his jacket on. "Play nice."

"Of course." Castiel said. "Sorry, Klaus."

"How'd you find me?" Dean asked. "I thought I was flying below the angel radar."

"You are." Castiel said. "Bobby told me where you were." He looks around the room and frowns. "Where’s Sam?"

Dean doesn’t answer the question, so Klaus does for him. "Sam and Dean are on a break." He said. "They’re having marital issues."

"We aren’t married."

"Could’ve fooled me." Klaus said. "You sure fight like a married couple."

Dean rolls his eyes and turns to Castiel. "You find God yet?" He asked. Klaus feels a pang of guilt at the mention of God. It would be so easier if he just told them all the truth... but it would also be impossible. "More importantly, can I have my damn necklace back, please?"

"No, I haven't found him." Castiel said. "That's why I'm here. I need your help."

"With what?" Dean asked. "God hunt?"

"It depends." Castiel said. "Did Klaus find God yet?"

Yes. "No." 

"Well, sorry, Cas." Dean said. "We’re not interested in your hunt for God. So, you can move your feathery ass along, alright?"

"It's not God." Castiel said. "It's someone else."

"Ooh, now I’m intrigued." Klaus said. "Who are we searching for?"

"Archangel." Castie said. "The one who killed me."

"’Scuse me?" Dean asked.

"His name is Raphael."

"You were wasted by a teenage mutant ninja angel?"

"That’s so lame." Klaus said. "What’s a teenage mutant ninja Angel?"

"It’s an obvious reference to the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles." Dean said. Klaus gives him a look. What the fuck is he talking about? "Wait... you don’t know who the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles are, do you?" Klaus shakes his head. "Were you ever a child?" 

Again, Klaus shakes his head. 

"Okay, clear all your plans." Dean said. "We’re watching every Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle that ever exists. You’re gonna love them. They’re teenage mutant ninja turtles. Isn’t that such a genius idea for a show?"

No. "Yeah."

Castiel, who has been quiet while Klaus and Dean discussed Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, speaks up. "Like I was saying..." he said. "I've heard whispers that he's walking the earth. This is a rare opportunity."

"For what?" Dean asked. "Revenge?"

"Information."

Klaus watches Dean sigh, then walk over to the sink and pick up his knife. "So, what, you think you can find this dude and he's just gonna spill God's address?" He asked, cleaning the weapon. It reminds Klaus of Diego. He misses him. Damn, he’s nostalgic today... like what the hell?

"Yes, because we are gonna trap him and interrogate him." 

Dean stops for a second and turns to Castiel. "You're serious about this." He said, dropping the washcloth and walking towards the Angel. So, what, I'm Thelma and you're Louise and Klaus is the car and we're just going to hold hands and sail off this cliff together?"

"Why do I have to be the car?"

Dean puts the knife away and ignores Klaus’s question. "Give me one good reason why I should do this." 

"Because you're Michael's vessel and no angel will dare harm you." Castiel replied.

"Oh, so I'm your bullet shield."

"I need your help because you are the only one who'll help me." Castiel said. He sounds desperate. "Please."

Dean pauses, considering. "All right, fine." Dean said. "Where is he?"

"Maine." Castiel said. "Let's go."

He places two fingers on Dean’s forehead and two on Klaus’s. Before he can teleport them anywhere, Dean leans away. "Whoa." He said. Castiel removes his hands from their heads.

"What?"

"Last time you zapped me someplace I didn't poop for a week." Dean said. Which is way TMI. Sheesh, Dean. "We're driving."

-

Three months have passed since Sam left.

Which means three months have passed since Ben has last lived with Klaus. 

And man, he misses him so, so much.

Without Klaus, Ben is unable to talk with anyone. Unless you count the dozens of ghosts that follow Sam and himself around, but all they wanna talk about is the numerous different ways they’d like to kill them and feed their flesh to their family as a form of vengeance. And that’s something Ben doesn’t really wanna talk about, so no, he doesn’t count them.

He’s so lonely.

Sure, he could easily go back to Klaus, but what if something happens to Sam and Ben isn’t there to see it and tell Klaus and Dean and they can’t go save him and by the time they realize he’s in danger, he’s already dead? Ben would never forgive himself and he doesn’t imagine Dean or Klaus would, either.

And so, he stays the three months, and hates every second of them.

Sam’s new life is boring.

Each day is the same. 

Ben watches Sam wake up, exercise, eat breakfast, get ready for work, drive to work, be flirted with by attractive coworker, eat lunch, finish up work, drive back to shitty motel, eat dinner, cry, and eventually, pass out. 

When Sam falls asleep, Ben gets to visit Klaus. But Klaus doesn’t share too much and Ben doesn’t either. It’s mostly just small talk, which neither ex-superheroes are very good at, so their visits are short. It’s still Ben’s favorite part of the day. 

So yeah. Three months have passed. 

He really misses his brothers- both Klaus and Dean. But deep down he knows this is for the best. Dean needs to trust Sam in order to work with him and Klaus needs to make sure he doesn’t get himself killed on a hunt. It’s hard, but it had to be done. It’s what’s best. They’ll all work together again eventually, they just need time apart.

Everything will be okay.

As Ben assures himself that, Lindsey, Sam’s attractive new coworker, begins speaking as she throws some darts. "Hey Keith, you play?" 

"That depends." Sam- or Keith, as he is now calling himself- said. "What are we playing for?"

"World peace." Lindsey replied, throwing another dart. It misses the target and she frowns. Obviously, she isn’t a superhero, or else she would’ve hit it multiple times by now. Ben could probably hit the target blindfolded. All of his siblings could.

"Oh, is that all?" Sam asked.

"Can I ask you something?" Lindsey asked, walking towards the target. 

"Shoot." Sam replied, wiping his hands off on a cloth. 

Lindsey grabs her darts. "You finished that crossword puzzle in the kitchen?"

Wait. Is this really about a crossword puzzle?

"Uh, I guess." Sam said. "Why?"

"The New York Times Saturday crossword?"

Sam looks at his shoes as if they’re the most interesting thing ever. "Was it?"

"Uh-huh." Lindsey said. "You blow into town last week, you don't talk to anybody, you're obviously highly educated. You're like this..."

"Riddle wrapped inside an enigma wrapped inside a taco?"

Lindsey smiles and nods. "Here's what we play for." She said. "When I win, you buy me dinner and tell me your life story." 

"Sounds fair." Sam replied, taking the darts and aiming them. 

He hits the target all three times. Lindsey stares in amazement. "Very mysterioso." She said. "I like it."

The news catches the room’s attention. "—the town of Tully?" The news reporter said. "tonight, John. Locals say that what started as a torrential hailstorm late this afternoon suddenly turned to massive lightning strikes that triggered the fires now consuming more than twenty acres here along the Route 17 corridor. County officials are advising all Tully residents to prepare for what could become mandatory evacuations."

Someone switches off the TV.

"Damn." The bartender said. "Is it me or does it seem like it's the end of the world?"

"Oh, honey." Ben said. "If only you knew."

-

Castiel has been around for centuries. He’s survived every war, every illness, every possible apocalypse. He’s survived literally everything and to be honest, he almost suspected himself of being immortal.

And then his older brother Raphael killed him.

And then God brought him back to life.

And then Castiel began his search for God.

And then Castiel didn’t find Him.

And then news of Raphael walking the Earth broke.

And that brings us to now.

Dean, Castiel, and Klaus climb out of the Impala and begin approaching the Waterville Sheriff’s Department. Raphael was spotted nearby recently by a Sheriff. This is the best lead they’ve got and Castiel already has a plan set in motion. It’s foolproof. Not even Klaus or Dean could mess it up.

"And we're here why?" Dean asked.

"A deputy sheriff laid eyes on the archangel." Castiel replied. Did he not go over this with the hunter already? Sometimes he forgets how clueless and forgetful humans are.

"And he still has eyes?" Dean asked. "All right, what's the plan?"

"We'll...tell the officer that he witnessed an angel of the Lord, and the officer will tell us where the angel is." Castiel answered simply. It’s not that complicated. The officer will believe them then gladly give them that information. Castiel is sure of it.

Klaus stops walking. "You wanna just blurt that out?" 

Castiel stops and turns to the medium. "Yes." He said. "Why wouldn’t I?"

"Because we’re humans." Dean said, taking a badge that matches his own and Klaus’s out from his coat and putting it inside of Castiel’s. Castiel frowns and Dean adjusts his tie and coat. "And when humans want something really, really bad, we lie."

"Why?"

"Because that's how you become President." Dean replied. 

They begin walking again. 

"I thought we were FBI." Castiel said. "Not presidents."

Klaus pats him on the back. "Maybe let Dean do all the talking."

They walk inside.

"Deputy Framingham?" Dean said, catching the attention of the deputy. "Hi. Alonzo Mosely, FBI. These are my partners, Nathan Young." Klaus shows his badge. "And Eddie Moscone." Castiel doesn’t move. "They’re also FBI."

Dean stares. Klaus stares. Castiel stares. And then it clicks.

He grabs his badge and displays it to the Deputy. Dean sighs, then fixes it. Apparently, it was the wrong way. How was Castiel supposed to know? It’s not his fault humans can’t read upside-down. 

"He's, uh, he's new." Dean replied. "Mind if we ask you a few questions?"

"Yeah, sure." Deputy Framingham said. "Can I ask a question first?"

"Shoot." Dean said.

"He’s FBI?" He nods to Klaus. Of course. Klaus is far too young to be FBI. It was dumb of Dean to think otherwise. Now this whole cover is blown and they’ll be forced to go with the first plan, not before being arrested for impersonating the FBI. Abort mission. Abort mission. Abort mission-

"I’m an FBI prodigy." Klaus said. "I graduated at the age of fourteen and have been working my ass off every day since. I look young, but I’m great at my job. Which is why I’m putting us back on topic because it appears we’ve gotten off of it. We need to discuss somethings that happened here recently and you need to be completely honest. We’re the FBI. We’ll know if you’re lying."

His eyes widen a bit. "Yeah, okay." He said. "Just... talk here, though." He points at his right ear. "Hearing's all blown to hell in this one."

"That happen recently?" Dean asked.

"Yeah. Gas station." Where Raphael was spotted. "Why you're here, isn't it?"

"Yes, it is."

The hunter, Angel and medium sit down.

"You mind just, uh, running us through what happened?" Dean asked.

"Start from the beginning." Klaus said. "Spare no details."

"Alright." He said. "A call came in. Disturbance out at the Pump and Go on Route 4."

"What kind of disturbance?" Dean asked.

"Would not have believed my eyes if I hadn't seen it myself." Deputy Framingham said. "We're talking a riot. Full scale."

"How many?" Dean asked.

"Thirty, forty, in all-out kill-or-be-killed combat?"

Dean nods once. "Any idea what set them off?"

"It's angels and demons, probably." Castiel replied. It’s the truth. Obviously, this lying isn’t helping them. They need to be honest or else they’ll never find Raphael and therefore, they’ll never find God and stop the apocalypse. 

Klaus, Dean, and the deputy look at Castiel with wide eyes. Each wear a different expression- Klaus looks surprised, Dean looks angry, and Framingham looks confused. Those are the reactions he expected, but reactions he hoped he wouldn’t get. Why are humans so coddled from the truth? Angels and demons exist. If everyone knew that, then everyone would be safer.

"They're skirmishing all over the globe."

"Come again?" Framingham asked. He looks from Castiel to Dean. "What did he say?"

And then the hunter, Angel, and medium speak simultaneously. 

"Nothing. Nothing."

"Demons. Demons."

"Crazy. Crazy."

"Demons, you know, drink, adultery." Dean replied. "We all have our demons, Walt."

Framingham looks at each of them, unbelieving but letting it go. Damnit Dean. They came here to talk about demons and Angels and the hunter is doing the exact opposite. He should’ve came here alone. "I guess."

"Um, any-who." Klaus said, drawing the deputy’s attention onto him. "Back to the story. What happened next?"

"Freaking explosion, that's what." Framingham continues his story as if it were never interrupted. "They said it was one of those underground gas tanks, but, uh, I don't think so."

"Why not?" Dean asked.

"Wasn't your usual fireball." Framingham explained. "It was, um—"

"Pure white." Castiel said.

"Yeah." Framingham said. "Gas station was leveled. Everyone was...it was just horrible. And I see this one guy, kneeling, real focused-like, not a damn scratch on him."

An Angel. Raphael.

"You know him?" Dean asked.

"Donnie Finneman." Framingham replied. "Mechanic there."

"And then what happened?" Klaus asked.

"Let me guess, he just, uh, vanished into thin air?" Dean suggests. The deputy looks at him as if he’s insane. It shouldn’t, but it somehow offends him in a way. 

"Uh, no, Kolchak." Framingham said. "He's down at Saint Pete's."

Ah. That’s useful information. Maybe he should tell Dean and Klaus, in case they didn’t hear him correctly. "Saint Pete's."

"Thank you."

-

Bobby sits in his kitchen next to his phones, waiting a call from anyone.

Sam is off in Oklahoma and Dean and Klaus are on a hunt with their Angel friend, Cas. Which means he’s alone in his house with nothing but his wheelchair and racing thoughts to keep him company. What if he’s trapped in this thing forever? What if he can never hunt again? What if something happens to one of his boys?

He shouldn’t be at home worrying about them. He should be on a hunt worrying about them.

One of his phones ring and it brings him out of his spiraling thoughts. He picks it up and sees the caller ID then immediately answers it. "Sam?"

"Hey Bobby." Sam greets over the phone. "How you doing?"

"Well I ain't running any marathons, but I'll live." Bobby said. Sam laughs. "Where are you?"

"Uh, Garber, Oklahoma." Sam replies. At least he knows where one of his boys are, even if he wishes they weren’t so damn far away. "I found a town up the road showing some Revelation omens."

That’s not good. "What omens?"

"All right, listen to this." Sam said. "'And upon his rising there shall be hail and fire mixed with blood.'"

"Well ain't that delightful."

"Yeah." Sam said. "But we already got hailstorms and fire so I'm guessing blood can't be too far behind." 

"Okay."

"What?"

"There a reason you're calling?" 

"Dean didn't tell you?"

"He told me."

"Yeah." Sam replies. "So I just thought you might want to find out who's in the area and put a man on this."

He’s already got a man. His name is Sam. "Okay, let me see if I can think of the best hunter who might be in the immediate vicinity—oh, that'd be you."

"I can't, Bobby, I'm sitting this one out."

Damnit. "Sam—"

"I gotta go." Sam said. "I'm so sorry."

"Hold on, Sam—"

Sam hangs up.

Bobby throws his phone.

-

After visiting the town mechanic, Donnie Finneman, in his catatonic state at Saint Pete’s hospital, the hunter, Angel, and medium broke into an abandoned house and discussed what will happen when they catch Raphael and apparently, Castiel will die.

Which brings us to now.

Klaus walks over to the hunter and Angel with drinks in his hands. When Dean opens his mouth to protest, Klaus immediately cuts him off. "This is a non-alcoholic Shirley Temple, Dean." He said. "If I wanted to relapse, you really think I would do it with you around?"

"Uh-huh." Dean said. "What about those beers?"

"These are for you and Cas." Klaus said. "You told me to order them, remember?"

"Oh yeah." Dean said, taking the beer. He remembers asking Klaus to order their drinks but with everything going on right now, he’d forgotten.

Klaus sits down and looks over Castiel. "You look like how I felt whenever my dear ol’ Daddy decided to lock me in the mausoleum for days on end. What’s wrong?"

"I don’t understand what you mean."

"I mean, you look petrified." Klaus said. "Do you not wanna be here?"

Where is “here”, exactly? Well, after Castiel admitted to Dean and Klaus that he most likely wouldn’t make it out of this alive, Dean realized Cas would die a virgin and being the great friend he is, took him out to a bar which just so happens to be a popular hangout for hookers. 

"No, and I should not be here." Castiel admits. "This is a den of iniquity"

"Dude, you full-on rebelled against Heaven." Dean said. "Iniquity is one of the perks."

A hooker begins approaching them.

"Showtime."

She stops at there table and looks at Castiel, who doesn’t look back. "Hi." She greets. "What's your name?"

"Cas." Dean said, a bit loudly. Cas startles and Klaus places a hand on his shoulder. "His name is Cas. What's your name?"

"Chastity." The hooker- Chastity- answers. Chastity is a woman of average height in her mid-to-late 20s with green eyes, pale skin, and straight blonde hair. She wears lingerie with a big bow that rests in between her chest and stomach. She’s really pretty, but that’s definitely not her real name.

"Chastity." Dean repeats. Castiel takes a large gulp of his beer and Klaus averts his eyes onto the table, sparing concerned and sympathetic glances to Castiel. "Wow. Is that kismet or what, buddy? Well, he likes you, you like him, so dayenu."

Chastity tugs Castiel up from his seat. "Come on, baby."

She begins walking off and Dean stops Castiel before he can follow her. "Hey, listen." He said. "Take this." He hands the Angel money. "If she asks for a credit card, no. Now just stick to the basics, okay? Do not order off the menu. Go get her, tiger."

Castiel doesn’t move.

"Cas, you don’t have to do this if you don’t want." Klaus assures. "No one will be mad."

Castiel hesitates for a second, his eyes darting from Dean to Klaus. With shaky hands he takes the money and follows Chastity.

Dean walks back to the table and sits down but Klaus stays standing. "Can I have the keys, please?" He asked. "The temptation of alcohol is just... really strong right now, and I’m afraid if I stay a second longer I’m going to drink this place dry. I just wanna go back to the Impala now."

Dean nods. "Of course."

He tosses the keys to Klaus who catches them with no problem. "Danke."

The hunter watches the medium exit the bar and hop into the backseat of the Impala. When Dean feels sure enough that Klaus won’t sneak back in and use drugs or drink, he sits back at the table and looks around for another hooker.

And then, there’s a scream.

Dean rushes to investigate. 

"Screw you too!" Chastity shouts as she storms past him. "Gosh! Oh! Jerk!"

Dean enters the room where Castiel looks incredibly confused. "The hell did you do?"

"I don't know." Castiel replies. "I just looked her in the eyes and told her it wasn't her fault that her father Gene ran off. It was because he hated his job at the post office."

That’s bad. That’s really, really bad. "Oh, no, man."

"What?"

"This whole industry runs on absent fathers." Dean said. "It's, it's the natural order."

Two bouncers enter the room.

"We should go." Dean said. "Come on."

The two quickly rush out of the door. Dean laughs once they’re safely outside and the door is shut. Castiel looks confused. "What's so funny?"

"Oh, nothing." Dean said, still laughing but not as much. "Whoo. It's been a long time since I've laughed that hard. It's been more than a long time. Years."

And then his face falls as he realizes what he said.

He and Sam don’t laugh together anymore. They just argue.

What happened to them?

-

Outside, it’s dark and dead. Inside, it’s bright and lively.

As people drink and chat about different things and drunkenly play pool, Sam cleans off a table and contemplates his earlier conversation with Bobby. 

A part of him feels bad for not helping when Bobby asked him to, another is upset that Bobby asked in the first place and believes he should respect his choice not to hunt. One hunt would turn into more hunts, and the tiniest mistake could cause him to relapse and spiral out of control. Then Dean, Klaus, Bobby, and Ben would want nothing to do with him and he’d lose his entire purpose for living.

He doesn’t want that to happen.

Deep in thought, he barely recognizes that someone is talking to him. It isn’t until Lindsey speaks that he realizes. "Sam?" She asks and shit- his cover has been blown. "What happened to Keith?"

He places the tray down and looks over. "Wait, what?"

She gestures and Sam notices the new, familiar faces. Steve, Reggie, and in the front stands Tim. All hunters. All probably here to ask about the demon thing. All going to destroy the new life he’s created for himself. 

"He called you Sam."

Shit.

"Yeah." Sam said. Time to come up with a quick lie so he doesn’t have to go over his entire and very complicated life story with her. "Uh. Sam's my middle name."

Lindsey laughs. She doesn’t believe him. Shit shit shit-

"Keith Sam?" Lindsey said. "Man, I'm sorry."

Oh. She does believe him. She just doesn’t like his fake name. Kinda hurtful, but it’s better than what he thought. Besides- Keith Sam is a dumb name and he’s glad it’s not his actual one.

"Well, actually, it's Samuel, so it's not quite as dumb as it sounds." Tim said, stepping in. Oh. Sam has never been so grateful for Tim. He could kiss him.

"Are you guys friends?" Lindsey asked.

Welp. He’s not out of the clear just yet. How will he explain he knows them because they all used to kill monsters together back in the day? She’ll personally have him committed. In what he hoped to be his new home town, he’ll be looked at as Keith Sam, the crazy man with a dumb name.

"Hunting buddies." Steve said. "With his dad. Samuel here is quite the hunter himself."

This is going just as he feared. They’re blowing his cover. She’s gonna ask what he hunted and then he’ll have to lie again but Tim and company will correct him and the new life he built for himself will be over. Shit. Shit. Shit-

"Wow." Lindsey said. "You killed deer and things?"

Oh. Not too bad.

"Yeah, and things." Tim said. If he doesn’t get the hunters away from Lindsey now, they’re going to completely blow his cover. He needs a plan.

"Um." He said. "Why don't I get you guys some drinks?"

The plan works; The hunters sit down at a table away from Lindsey and she seems to forget about them. He grabs the beers and brings them to the table, then sits down.

"Sorry." Tim said. "Didn't mean to bust you back there."

"No. It's all right." Sam said. It’s actually not, but whatever. "So what's up?

"Bobby called."

Great. He knew it was about this, he just hoped it wasn’t. "And?"

"You were right." Tim said. "Major demon block party going on."

"But why?" Sam asked. "What are they up to?"

"Don't know yet." Steve replies.

"Bobby told us you were off limits." Reggie said. "That true?"

"Yeah, that's right."

Tim looks frustrated and disappointed. "That's fine in theory and all, but we could really use all hands on deck here."

Why is it so hard to respect Sam’s decision? And why did Bobby have to share that with everyone? Couldn’t he just have said Sam is busy? It’s not entirely a lie. The bar keeps him busy enough. "I know you could." He said. "But I can't. I'm sorry."

"Why not?" Steve asked.

If I look at a demon I’m afraid I’ll eat it’s blood. "It's personal."

"Look, man, what baggage is so heavy it can't be stowed away for the freaking apocalypse?" Tim asked. Well, Sam can name a few. For instance, causing the apocalypse, a demon blood addiction, and hallucinating a dead girlfriend.

"Like I said—"

"Yeah." Reggie said. "You're sorry. Heard it the first time."

"Suit yourself." Tim said as the hunters from their seats. "More for us then, right?"

"Good luck."

"But hey." Tim said, almost out the door. "Beers are on you when we get back."

If you get back. "Yeah, you bet."

And then they leave.

"So your parents were drunk when they named you and you shoot Bambi?" Lindsey asks, because apparently she didn’t forget. Shit. If she asks questions, how will he explain them without actually explaining them?

"It's a long story."

"That is it." Lindsey said, clearly frustrated but trying not to show it. "Enough with the kung fu wandering the earth thing. I'm gonna buy you dinner and we're gonna talk."

Great. A dinner where he’ll be forced to tell all of his deep, dark secrets to the girl he kinda likes. This is just... great. Wonderful, in fact. "Lindsey, I can't."

"No." Lindsey said. "The only way to avoid bloodshed is to say yes."

Sam stares.

And then, reluctantly, he agrees.

-

Klaus just spent an entire day in the hospital waiting for an Archangel named Raphael, only for him to never show.

That’s a day he could’ve spent training his powers and catching up with Ben. 

He sighs heavily as he, the Angel, and Dean drive up to the abandoned house they’ve claimed as their own. Dean sits in the drivers seat, Castiel sits in the passengers, and Klaus sits in the back. All alone because Ben is off babysitting Sam.

"You okay, kid?" Dean asked.

"Oh, yeah." Klaus said. "I love spending my entire day with a catatonic patient for no reason."

"It wasn’t for no reason, Klaus." Castiel said. "If I knew Raphael wasn’t going to show then I wouldn’t have suggested we go there. I didn’t want my day spent like that, either."

Klaus sighs again and unbuckles his seatbelt.

The hunter, medium, and Angel climb out of the Impala and approach the house. When they open the door and enter, Castiel stops in his tracks. "Wait."

Suddenly, there’s a bright light and they’re met with the face of Donnie Finneman, but not Donnie Finneman himself. Donnie was terrified and unable to form words, let alone get out of his wheelchair and follow them here. The thing wearing his face now screams evil and dangerous. It’s not Donnie at all.

It’s Raphael.

Lightbulbs shatter and darkness falls upon the room. Lightning in the shape of Angel wings appear behind him, proving Klaus’s theory correct.

"Castiel." Raphael said.

"Raphael." Castiel said.

Dean, Klaus, and Cas walk closer. "And I thought you were supposed to be impressive." Dean said. "All you do is black out the room."

"And the Eastern Seaboard." Raphael said. Lightning flashes outside. "It is a testament to my unending mercy that I do not smite you here and now."

"Or maybe you're full of crap." Dean said. "Maybe you're afraid God will bring Cas back to life again and smite you and your candy-ass skirt. By the way, hi, I'm Dean."

"I know who you are." Raphael said. "And now, thanks to him, I know where you are."

"You won't kill him." Castiel said. Thanks to Klaus’s new powers, he can sense that Castiel is feeling scared and protective, and that’s how Klaus knows that Castiel feels at least a tiny bit of emotions, unlike Raphael and others he’d met. "You wouldn't dare."

"But I will take him to Michael."

"Well then." Dean said. "Sounds terrifying. It does. But, uh, hate to tell you, I'm not going anywhere with you." 

He grabs a beer. Raphael stares, a bit taken aback by Dean’s reaction, or lack thereof. He collects himself and returns to his normal emotional state. Emotionless. "Surely you remember Zachariah giving you stomach cancer?" He asks, threatening.

Dean laughs. "Yeah, that was, that was hilarious."

"Well, he doesn't have anything close to my imagination."

"Yeah?" Dean asks. "I bet you didn't imagine one thing."

"What?" Raphael asks and for the first time, he actually feels real, genuine emotion. Fear. Confusion. Anger. 

"We knew you were coming, you stupid son of a bitch." Dean said. He lights a lighter and drops it. A fiery circle ignites around Raphael, trapping him. The Angel stares in shock. "Don't look at me, it was his idea."

"Where is He?" 

"God?" Raphael said. "Didn't you hear? He's dead, Castiel. Dead."

Silence.

And then...

"Ex-squeeze me?"

-

To avoid bloodshed, Sam agreed on dinner with Lindsey so he could tell his life story. 

And it went better than Ben had expected it to.

No blood or tears were shed, nothing too personal was shared, no one was forced to learn about the existence of demons and other supernatural beings. 

It was just a normal dinner and a normal conversation. 

Lindsey told Sam about her past and struggles with addiction and she assured him that everyone deserves forgiveness, even him. He got a tiny bit emotional and thanked her. They kissed. And then Lindsey’s shift ended, leaving Sam to finish his own.

Which brings us to now.

Sam wipes down the tables, occasionally speaking to Ben despite being unable to see or hear the ghost. It’s almost totally silent in the closed bar, so when the door chimes and someone enters, Sam and Ben are immediately aware.

"Bar's closed." Sam said, turning around. He notices the man that enters the same time Ben does. It’s one of the men from earlier, Tim. Sam’s old hunting buddy. He’s beaten and bruised and bloody. Ben feels his stomach fill up with dread at the sight. "Hey."

"Something you want to tell me, Sam?" Tim asked. His tone sounds just as pissed as he looks. This isn’t gonna be a pretty conversation, not one bit.

"What?" Sam asked. "No."

"You sure about that?"

"I—I don't know—jeez." Sam said. "Are you okay? Where are Reggie and Steve?"

"Oh, Steve's good, he's, uh, his guts are lying roadside outside the Hawley Five and Dime." Tim said, voice filled with betrayal and anger. Ben prepares himself for a fight. That’s the only way this conversation will end. The only way it can end.

"I'm sorry." 

"Sorry don't cut it, Sam." Tim snaps.

"What do you want me to say?" Sam asks.

"The truth." 

"Okay, fine." Tim said. "Let me give you some of my own, then. We go into town, we catch ourselves a demon, we get jumped by ten more. Steve bought it."

"I'm sorry."

"Saying it twice don't make it so, Sam." Tim said. "You see, this demon, he, uh, he told us things. Crazy things, things about you, Sam."

Shit. He knows about the apocalypse and Sam’s involvement in it. And he’s pissed. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit-

"Demons lie."

"Yeah." Tim said. "I'm gonna ask you one last time. The truth. Now."

Sam opens and closes his mouth. Ben feels the dread in his stomach grow.

And then, the door chimes.

Reggie walks in with a knife to Lindsey’s throat.

"Lindsey!" Sam shouts.

The hunter holds it closer to the point it’s touching the skin. Sam stares, anger in his eyes. Ben clenches and unclenches his fists, feeling helpless and hating it. Lindsey looks at Sam with pleading, frightened eyes.

"What's going on?"

Sam puts his hands up and takes a hesitant step closer to the hunter. "Just take it easy, okay?" He said. "Put the knife down." The hunter complies but still keeps his hold on the bartender. "It's true. What the demons said, it's all true."

"Keep going."

"Why?" Sam asks. "You gonna hate me any less? Am I gonna hate myself any less? What do you want?"

"I want to hear you say it." Tim said.

"I did it." Sam said. Lindsey watches with a mixture of fear and confusion in her eyes. The dread in Ben’s stomach grows. "I started the apocalypse."

"What?" Lindsey asks, voice quiet and weak and so, so confused. "Apocalypse?"

"I’ll explain later." Sam said. "I am so, so sorry."

"Wanna make it up to us?" Tim asks. 

Tim holds a red test tube up and Ben’s mind processes what it is before Sam’s does. 

It’s demon blood.

"What is that?"

"What do you think it is?" Tim asks. "It's go juice, Sammy boy."

"Get that away from me." Sam said.

"Away from you?" Tim said. "No. This is for you. Hell if that demon wasn't right as rain. Down the hatch, son."

"You're insane."

"Here's what's gonna happen." Tim said. "You're gonna drink this, Hulk out, and you're gonna waste every one of the demon scum that killed my best friend."

He nods to Lindsey, who Reggie has handcuffed to the bar.

"Or she dies."

"You wouldn't do that." Sam said.

Tim laughs humorlessly. "It's funny how watching your best friend die changes that."  
He and Reggie advance on Sam, who retreats. "Come on, you know you want it, Sam. Just reach out and take it."

Reggie charges at Sam, who easily tosses him into the pool table. Tim joins and the two hunters restrain Sam and bring the demon blood to his mouth. Suddenly, the dread he felt is replaced with anger. He does the first idea his brain comes up with.

He possesses Reggie.

Ben, in Reggie’s body, throws Tim away from Sam, knocking the glass test tube out of his hands and onto the ground, shattering it. Sam stares with wide eyes. Lindsey gasps. Ben walks towards Tim, knife in hand. "What the hell, Reggie?!"

"Not Reggie."

"You-you’re possessed!" Tim said. "One of those bastards possessed you!"

"Yeah, you bet your ass your little friend is possessed." Ben said. "But not by a demon. By something much, much worse. And I can cause so much harm to your friend just by thinking of it. So, you’re gonna listen to me, and if you don’t, I’m going to kill your little friend first and then I’m gonna kill you. Understand?"

Tim doesn’t respond; Ben brings the knife to Reggie’s throat.

"I said, understand?!"

"Yes, yes!"

"Good." Ben said. "You and Reggie are gonna get your asses up and out of this bar and you will never return, you hear me? You will never come near Sam or Lindsey or Dean or Bobby or Klaus ever again because if you do, I will kill you."

"You can’t kill us if your bones are burnt."

"My bones already are burnt, Timmy boy." Ben said. "And if you value your life, then I’d stay away. I can do a lot worse than possession. Have you ever heard of The Horror?"

Tim looks at him, fear in his eyes. Though he doesn’t say it, Ben knows that he recognizes the name. Everyone does. The Umbrella Academy were well known throughout the world back in the day. When Five vanished, the world searched. When Ben died, the world mourned. 

"So." Ben said, walking away. "Do you agree?"

"Yeah, yeah." Tim said. "Just let my friend go."

Ben does, but not before stabbing Reggie through the hand. It won’t kill him, but it’ll cause him pain and definitely leave a scar. It should be enough to remind the two hunters to never mess with Sam or anyone close to Sam, for that matter.

He watches with a satisfied grin on his face as the two hunters scramble for the exit.

Normally, Ben is not a violent person. But if someone is hurting his family, you better believe he’ll act like the assassin he was raised to be.

-

Castiel went through every possible outcome when he came up with the idea to trap his elder brother, Raphael. Either he’d die, or Raphael would die, or Dean would die, or Klaus would die, or they would all die. By the end of the day, someone would be dead.

He didn’t expect that ‘someone’ to be God.

As he stares at Raphael, gaping like a fish with Dean and Klaus, the Archangel continues speaking. "But there's no other explanation." He said. "He's gone for good."

"You're lying."

Because of course he is. Raphael is, just like majority of the Angels and Archangels, evil. He’s a liar. He’s manipulative. You should take everything he says with a grain of salt. God isn’t dead. God simply cannot die, or else the world would die, too. 

"Am I?" Raphael asks. "Do you remember the twentieth century? Think the twenty-first is going any better? Do you think God would have let any of that happen if He were alive?"

"Oh yeah?" Dean asks. "Well then who invented the Chinese basket trick?"

"Careful." Raphael warns. "That's my Father you're talking about, boy."

"Yeah, who would be so proud to know His sons started the frigging apocalypse." Dean said.

"Who ran off and disappeared." Raphael said. "Who left no instructions and a world to run."

"Daddy ran away and disappeared." Dean said. "He didn't happen to work for the post office, did He?"

"This is funny to you?" Raphael said. "You're living in a godless universe."

"And?" Dean asks. "What, you and the other kids just decided to throw an apocalypse while He was gone?"

"We're tired." Raphael said and boo-fucking-hoo. Take a nap. Just because you’re tired doesn’t mean you’ve gotta kill the entire world. "We just want it to be over. We just want...paradise."

"So, what, God dies and makes you the boss and you decide you can do whatever you want?" Dean asks.

"Yes." Raphael said. "And whatever we want, we get."

The window burst in.

-

"If God is dead, why have I returned?" Castiel asks. "Who brought me back?"

"Did it ever occur to you that maybe Lucifer raised you?" Raphael suggests, still standing inside the Angel trap.

"No."

"Think about it." Raphael said. "He needs all the rebellious angels he can find. You know it adds up."

"Except it doesn’t." Klaus said, speaking up for the first time since they’d arrived. "Look, Angel boy, I get it. You’ve got Daddy issues. We all do. But, what you’re saying makes zero sense. Castiel hates Lucifer. Is that really an Angel he’d want to revive? An Angel that has plans to destroy him? I don’t think so."

"Kid’s got a point." Dean said. "You don’t."

Castiel begins walking out of the room. "Let's go."

"Castiel, I'm warning you." Raphael calls after him. "Do not leave me here. I will find you."

Castiel smirks. "Maybe one day." He said. "But today, you're my little bitch."

He walks through the door of the abandoned house and towards the Impala. From inside the house, he hears Dean’s voice. "What he said."

The hunter, medium, and Angel hop inside the Impala and drive off, leaving Raphael in his trap. Alone.

-

So many things have happened in one day, and all Dean wants to do is lie in bed and sleep for a week. But the world is ending in God knows how many days and it’s up to Dean & company to stop it, so sleep will have to wait.

He peeks over at Castiel, who stares out the window, silent. "You okay?" Castiel doesn’t answer; Dean counties speaking. "Look, I'll be the first to tell you that this little crusade of yours is nuts, but I do know a little something about missing fathers."

"What do you mean?" Castiel asks, looking hopeful.

"I mean there were times when I was looking for my dad when all logic said that he was dead, but I knew in my heart he was still alive." Dean said. "Who cares what some ninja turtle says, Cas, what do you believe?"

"I believe he's out there." 

"Good." Dean said. "Then go find him."

"What about you and Klaus?"

"What about us?" Dean said. "I don't know. Honestly, Klaus seems okay. I'm good. I can't believe I'm saying that, but I am, I'm really good."

"Even without your brothers?"

"Especially without them." Dean said. "I mean, I miss Ben and I know Klaus does, too. But I spent so much time worrying about Sam. I mean, I've had more fun with you in the past twenty-four hours than I've had with the son of a bitch in years, and you're not that much fun. It's funny, you know, I've been so chained to my brother, but now that he’s gone, hell, I’m happy."

No response. Dean turns and Cas is gone.

Besides Klaus, who is asleep in the backseat, Dean is alone.

And he’s not happy.

-

The second Sam got back to his motel room, he was out. 

Every second of this damned day has been excruciatingly long. First, with the interaction with Reggie, Steve, and Tim, then being forced into dinner by Lindsey, and just an hour ago when he discovered Steve was dead and Ben possessed Reggie in front of Sam- that’s enough to make him want to sleep for an entire week straight.

So after throwing on pajamas, he fell into bed and didn’t have any plans in waking up anytime soon.

But of course, things don’t work out for Sam, and an hour after falling asleep, he’s woken up by a voice he never expected to hear again.

It’s Jess.

He looks around and sees his girlfriend lying next to him, facing in the other direction. He kisses her on her neck to get her attention and she rolls over to face him. She hasn’t changed a bit since the last he’d seen her. If anything, she’s only got more beautiful.

"So." Jessica said. "This is your life now? Think you can just live forever with your head buried in the sand?"

She runs her thumb over his chin. He leans into the touch. Man, he’s missed her. "I love you, Jess." He said, sitting up and turning away. "God knows how much I miss you, too. But you're wrong. People can change. There is reason for hope."

"No, Sam." Jess said. "There isn't."

A hand is on his shoulder. For a second, it feels like Jess. But then it changes. It doesn’t feel like her anymore. Sam continues believing it is her, however. He needs to. "How can you be so sure?"

"Because you freed me."

And suddenly, it clicks into place.

The Jessica he’s been hallucinating never really was Jessica. 

He turns around, seeing a man where he expected Jessica to be. He stands up and backs away. The man stays in his spot on the bed. Sam wonders if Ben is seeing what he’s seeing, or if this is just some sick nightmare or hallucination.

No matter what it is, he knows this is real.

"That's right." The man said. "You know who I am."

"Lucifer."

Lucifer smirks. "You are a hard one to find, Sam." He said. "Harder than most humans. I don't suppose you'd tell me where you are?"

"What do you want with me?" Sam asks.

"Thanks to you, I walk the earth." Lucifer said. "I want to give you a gift. I want to give you everything."

"I don't want anything from you."

"I'm so sorry, Sam, I, I really am, but Nick here is just an improvisation." Lucifer said. "Plan B. He can barely contain me without spontaneously combusting."

"What are you talking about?" Sam asks.

Lucifer stands and walks closer. Sam takes a step back. "Why do you think you were in that chapel?" He asks. "You're the one, Sam. You're my vessel. My true vessel."

"No."

"Yes."

"No." Sam said. "That'll never happen."

"I'm sorry, but it will." Lucifer insists. "I will find you. And when I do, you will let me in. I'm sure of it."

"You need my consent." Sam said. If he never agrees, Lucifer can never possess him and then the world can’t end. It’s not his greatest plan, but it’s all he’s got right now. 

"Of course." Lucifer said, crossing his arms over his chest. "I'm an Angel."

"I will kill myself before letting you in."

"I'll just bring you back." Lucifer said, then sighs. "Sam. My heart breaks for you. The weight on your shoulders, what you've done, what you still have to do. It is more than anyone could bear. If there was some other way...but there isn't. I will never lie to you. I will never trick you. But you will say yes to me."

"You're wrong."

"I'm not." Lucifer said. "I think I know you better than you know yourself."

"Why me?"

"Because it had to be you, Sam." Lucifer said. "It always had to be you."

When Sam looks up, Lucifer is gone.

-

When Klaus wakes up, he expected to be in his room where he fell asleep.

Instead, he’s in the Garden of Eden and God is staring at him with an unreadable expression painted across Her face.

"How did I die?"

"You didn’t." God said. "I brought you here. Dean is asleep and so is Bobby, so no one should find you not breathing."

"Okay." Klaus said. "Why am I here?"

"It’s about Sam." God said. "Klaus. I’m going to ask you to do something and I need you to comply. Do you understand?"

"Yeah, sure." Klaus said. "What is it?"

"Klaus, I need you to kill Sam."

And Klaus gapes like a fish, because that’s all he can do. Did God really just ask him to murder his own brother? There’s no way...

"You need me to do what, exactly?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And I oop-


	4. Croatoan (Part I)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Castiel just isn’t having a good year.
> 
> Or,
> 
> Klaus just isn’t having a good year.
> 
> Or,
> 
> Sam just isn’t having a good year.
> 
> Or,
> 
> Dean just isn’t having a good year.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me: I’ll update it next week.
> 
> Also me: *updates it literally 2 days after the last one*
> 
> What can I say? It just flowed. Since this is part 1 of 2 (or more- we’ll see) the next chapter should be out soon, since writing chapters with multiple parts is just easier for me.
> 
> Anyway.
> 
> Quick little not-so-fun-fact about the word Croatoan for y’all, in the year 1587, English settlers- who would later be referred to as the Lost Colony- arrived on an island called Roanoke. To make a very long and complicated story short and easy, they basically vanished without a trace and the only clue as to what may have happened to them was a tree that had the word Croatoan carved into it. Some believe they were killed by the group, Croatan, who populated an island nearby Roanoke, some believe they fell ill with a disease that ultimately killed them, while some believe they joined the Croatan group. I feel the latter is most likely what happened, considering a large amount of the Croatan people of today have pale skin, blue eyes, and light hair. 
> 
> That’s a mystery I hope is solved in my lifetime, although it’s doubtful considering everything happened in 1587. 
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter! I love this episode of Supernatural and I’m looking forward to writing the different timeline versions of the characters. Let me just say, Future!Klaus has the saddest story.

Castiel just isn’t having a good year.

It was already bad enough, what with Lucifer rising and all. But pile on his friend starting the apocalypse, his other friend keeping a secret that could potentially save the world, and his brother telling him their father is dead on top of that? 2009 is the worst (and probably last) year in history. And that’s saying something, considering he’s almost as old as the world itself.

After getting that unfortunate news, Castiel began his search for the Colt- aka, the gun that can kill literally anything. While he still hasn’t found it, he does have a pretty good idea as to where it is. He just needs help getting to it.

So he calls Dean, despite it being nighttime and knowing the hunter is probably sleeping or at least trying to. Surprisingly, Dean answers rather quickly. Although he does sound tired. Castiel explains his theory and then listens to the human’s thoughts on it and tries to understand what the robotic voice means when it says he’s nearly out of minutes.

"We're talking about the Colt, right?" Dean asks. "I mean, as in the Colt?"

"We are."

"Well, that doesn't make any sense." Dean said, then continues talking. 

However, Cas is unable to hear what he says. A truck drives by and makes it impossible for the Angel to hear anything. The side of a rather busy road is the worst place to have a conversation about demons and guns that can kill them. It would be easier if he could just teleport himself to Dean, but Dean is invisible to all Angel’s, Castiel included. Unless Dean shares his location, but that’s highly unlikely. "What?" He asks. "What? Did—I didn't—I didn't get that."

Dean laughs. 

How is Castiel’s suffering funny to Dean?

"You know, it's kind of funny." Dean said. "Talking to a messenger of God on a cellphone. It's, you know, like watching a Hell's Angel ride a moped."

"This isn't funny, Dean." Castiel said, frantic. "The voice says I'm almost out of minutes!"

"Okay, all right." Dean said. "I'm—I'm telling you, Cas, the mooks have melted down the gun by now."

Castiel frowns. That’s false. "Well, I hear differently." He replies. "And if it's true and if you are still set on the insane task of killing the devil, this is how we do it."

"Okay." Dean said. "Where do we start?"

"Where are you now?"

"Kansas City." Dean said. There’s a pause on his line, and then speaking once more. "Century Hotel, room 113."

"I'll be there immediately." Castiel said, moving the phone from his ear and preparing to teleport himself to Dean. Suddenly, Dean’s voice comes through and Castiel is forced to bring the phone back to his ear.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa." Dean said. "No, no, come on, man. I just drove like sixteen hours straight, okay? I'm human. And there's stuff I got to do."

"What stuff?"

What is more important that finding the colt?

"Eat, for example." Dean said. "In this case, sleep. I just need like four hours once in a while, okay?"

Humans are so annoying and weak, what with all their needs. "Yes."

"Okay, so, you can pop in tomorrow morning."

"Yes." Castiel said. "I'll just—"

Dial tone. Dean hung up.

"—wait here, then."

Castiel drops his arm and looks around.

And then he waits.

-

Klaus just isn’t having a good year.

It was already bad enough, what with the world ending and all. But pile on developing a new and rather overwhelming power, his brothers leaving, and God telling him he’s got to kill Sam because he’s Lucifer’s vessel on top of that? 2009 is the worst (and probably last) year in history.

After getting that horrible news, he shut himself in his room and began training his powers. Not to kill Sam, but to stop Lucifer before he can possess him. He’d rather die a billion times over than have another one of his brother’s blood on his hands.

He spends 16 hours sitting in his room. It isn’t until he has a seizure does he realize that he needs a break. The medium sits up slowly and stumbles into the bathroom. Then, he turns on the water and as he waits for the tub to fill up, he dials Dean’s number.

It rings. Once. Twice. And then Dean’s loud voice comes over his phone.

"Damnit, Cas, I need to sleep!"

"What?" Klaus asks. "Dean, it’s me! It’s Klaus!"

"What?" Dean asks. "Klaus, it’s ten minutes ‘til four. What are you doing up?"

"I could ask you the same thing."

"Touché." He said after a second of complete silence. "What’s up, though? You hate talking on the phone. Is something wrong?"

"Yeah." Klaus said. "Something is really, really wrong. I don’t know what to do."

"Shit." Dean said. "Klaus, did you relapse? Is that why you’re slurring?"

"What!?" Klaus asks, not bothering to hide the hurt in his voice. "I didn’t relapse! I have a migraine, that’s why I’m slurring." 

"Oh." Dean said. "Sorry, kid. I didn’t mean to accuse you of anything."

"It’s fine." It’s actually not, but whatever.

"Is that why you called?" Dean asks. "To tell me you have a migraine? I think Bobby has Tylenol somewhere. You just gotta ask. He’s got all the pills and alcohol hidden."

"I know, and no." Klaus said. "I called about Sam."

Dean sighs. "Klaus, I’m too tired to worry about that son of a bitch right now." He said. "Can you tell me later? I’m exhausted. I drove for 16 hours straight."

"But it’s important-"

"Everything with Sam is important." Dean said. "I gotta go."

"Dean-"

"Bye, Klaus."

Dial tone. Dean hung up.

Klaus stares at the phone in his hands.

And then, he throws it.

-

Sam just isn’t having a good year.

It was already bad enough, what with him causing the apocalypse and all. But pile on an estranged brotherly bond, a crave for demon blood, and Lucifer telling him he’s his true vessel on top of that? 2009 is the worst (and probably last) year in history.

After getting that terrifying news, he locked himself away in his motel room, not bothering to show up to work. It’s better off without him. He’s Lucifer, after all. Lucifer is known to destroy stuff and Sam doesn’t want to hurt Lindsey any further.

16 hours pass and he realizes he needs to do something. He won’t go down as Lucifer’s vessel without a fight. The only way he can fight this however, is if Dean helps him. So he hops in his car and calls his big brother.

He dials the number and waits. 

On the third ring, Dean answers. "Damnit, Klaus." He said. "I said I didn’t care about Sam!"

Sam feels a pang of hurt. "You don’t care about me?"

"Sammy?" Dean asks. "Shit. I didn’t mean that. I mean, I don’t care about anyone when it’s a quarter past four. I’m uh... not a morning person. You know that."

"Uh huh." Sam said. "Well, this is important."

"Is it the same thing Klaus called me about?" Dean asks. "If so, I feel like shit. I hung up on him. I didn’t think it was that important."

"It is, so." Sam said. "Wait. Klaus called about me? I didn’t even tell him yet."

"Spooky." Dean said. "So, uh. What’s so important?"

"Lucifer." Sam said. "He came to me last night. Told me something really disturbing."

"What is it?"

"I’m a vessel, Dean." Sam said. "I’m Lucifer’s true vessel."

There’s silence on the other end. Sam prepares to be yelled at.

But it never comes.

Instead, Dean laughs. "And I’m Michael’s." He said. "Some family we are."

"Dean, this is serious." 

"Of course it is." Dean said. "Sorry."

"It’s alright." Sam said. On Dean’s line, he hears a fridge open. "Where are you?"

"At a motel, trying to sleep." 

"I’m sorry." 

"It’s fine." Dean said. "So, you're his vessel, huh? Lucifer's wearing you to the prom?"

"That's what he said." Sam said.

"Just when you thought you were out, they pull you back in, huh, Sammy?" Dean asks. And... that’s it? Sam expected- no, wanted, a bit more of a reaction from Dean. To show Dean still gives a shit about Sam and what happens to him. But Dean had no reaction. He just joked. Because he sees Sam as just that. A joke. He doesn’t care about him. He hasn’t cared about him since he first started drinking demon blood.

"So, that's it?" Sam asks, hurt. "That's your response?"

"What are you looking for?"

Fear. Just to show you care. "I don't know." He said. "A—a little panic? Maybe?"

"I guess I'm a little numb to the earth-shattering revelations at this point."

Makes him feel a tiny bit better. "What are we gonna do about it?"

"What do you want to do about it?" Dean asks.

For us to be brothers again. "I want back in, for starters."

"Sam—"

"I mean it." Sam said. "I am sick of being a puppet to these sons of bitches. I'm gonna hunt him down, Dean."

"Oh, so, we're back to revenge, then, are we?" Dean asks. "Yeah, 'cause that worked out so well last time."

"Not revenge. Redemption."

"So, what, you're just gonna walk back in and we're gonna be the dynamic duo again?" 

"Look, Dean, I can do this." Sam said. "I can. I'm gonna prove it to you."

"Look, Sam—it doesn't matter—whatever we do." Dean said. "I mean, it turns out that you and me, we're the, uh, the fire and the oil of the Armageddon. You know, on that basis alone, we should just pick a hemisphere. Stay away from each other for good."

Dean... he’s giving up? Just like that? "Dean, it does not have to be like this." Sam said. "We can fight it."

"Yeah, you're right." Dean said. "We can. But not together. We're not stronger when we're together, Sam. I think we're weaker. Because whatever we have between us—love, family, whatever it is—they are always gonna use it against us. And you know that. Yeah, we're better off apart. We got a better chance of dodging Lucifer and Michael and this whole damn thing, if we just go our own ways."

Dean doesn’t wanna be Sam’s brother anymore. "Dean, don't do this."

"Bye, Sam."

Dean hangs up. 

With tears in his eyes, Sam stares down at his phone and thinks about the brother he had and lost.

-

Dean just isn’t having a good year.

It was already bad enough, what with his father figure becoming paralyzed. But pile on his brother causing the apocalypse, his other brother constantly committing suicide, and the same brother who started the apocalypse finding out he’s Lucifer’s vessel on top of that? 2009 is the worst (and probably last) year in history.

After getting that shocking news, he did what he knew best and slept. He expected to wake up in the motel room he fell asleep in.

And he does. It’s just destroyed.

From the clock to his left all the way down to the mattress underneath him, what was once perfectly fine is now either broken or no longer there.

He stands, the ache in his back from the box springs worsening with every move. He walks towards the window and looks out it. Like the motel room, outside is trashed and abandoned. Only one thought runs through his mind in that moment: "How long did I sleep?"

He goes into the bathroom to discover it’s in the same state as the motel room and outside. The toilet is broken, the tub has a dead body in it, and there’s graffiti written all over the mirror. The sink is stained with blood and covered with cockroaches.

It’s all horrible.

The hunter doesn’t want to waste a second longer in that motel room, so he doesn’t. With a bit of hesitation he ventures outside to investigate, and maybe get a bit of insight on what the fuck happened when he was asleep. 

Everything is destroyed or graffitied or both. It looks nothing like it did last night. What was once a lively city filled with people, is now dead and empty. There’s no sign of life and for a second, Dean wonders if the rapture happened and he’s the last man on earth.

That’s proven false when he hears the sound of glass shattering. 

He follows the noise and comes across a little girl staring down at the floor, her teddy bear just a few inches away. Dean takes a step closer.

"Little girl? Little girl?" He asks hesitantly. Blood drips down onto the broken glass shards. She doesn’t react to the hunter’s presence. "Are you hurt?"

Still nothing.

"You know the not-talking thing is kind of creepy, right?"

More blood drips. Dean walks closer. The girl shrieks and attacks him with a piece of glass. He knocks her down and runs then looks around, catching the sight of a large piece of graffiti that reads “Croatoan”.

"Oh, crap."

People come out of nowhere with their mouths bleeding, presumably having they same virus as the little girl. They chase after him onto a street blocked by a chain fence. Dean looks up at the sky and prepares for death.

However, it never comes.

Several tanks pull up with soldiers inside them and they shoot the infected people, shattering the windows surrounding them. The infected die immediately. On an electric device, a soldier begins to play music. He drinks from a glass bottle.

For a second, it’s peaceful.

Then chaos ensues.

More infected people appear and more gunfire is heard. Dean barely manages to escape through an alley, leaving the soldiers to take care of whatever the fuck is going on and silently praying he wasn’t infected with whatever illness that little girl had.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Working on Part II right now! Tell me your thoughts below and if you haven’t already, subscribe to the story for updates on new chapter and don’t forget to leave a kudo!
> 
> And sorry if I messed anything up when I was talking about Roanoke. TBH my sister and cousin know more about that than I do, since they’re both nerds when it comes to history and they’ve watched every video there is about the Lost Colony.
> 
> Completely off topic, but I wanna talk about it. Have y’all see the TV show, The Last Man on Earth? If not, I highly recommend it. It’s hilarious but also extremely eerie. It came out in 2015, went on for four seasons before being cancelled despite it having high ratings and also ending on a cliffhanger, and let me just say- it predicted so much shit it’s not even funny. For instance, in the year 2019 there’s a virus outbreak; Tom Hanks is the first person to get it and die from it. The CDC advises everyone to wear a mask and there’s a scene showing people walking down the streets with masks on themselves, their children, and their pets (animals can get the virus in the show).By the year 2020 everyone is dead. Except for Phillip “Tandy” Miller, the Last Man on Earth, who spends years by himself and living out of every famous person’s home. One day he meets a woman named Carol, they decide to get married so they can repopulate the Earth, long story short they meet more people and the show is basically about people who have literally nothing in common trying to live together and rebuild the broken earth, but only breaking it further.
> 
> It’s really good. Definitely recommend.
> 
> Anyway, I’m tired so, goodnight!


	5. Croatoan (Part II)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So. Cas isn’t gravely ill or injured.
> 
> At least it doesn’t appear that way, as right now Future Cas is sitting in a circle with a bunch of women, chatting about God knows what. "So, in this way." He’s saying. "We're each a fragment of total perception—just, uh, one compartment in that dragonfly eye of group mind. Now, the key to this total, shared perception—it's, um, it's surprisingly physical."
> 
> Or, 
> 
> "Klaus left." Future Dean said.
> 
> "That’s unlike him." Castiel said with a frown.
> 
> "Well, he didn’t have much of a choice." Future Dean explains. "I kicked him out."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The 2nd and final part of the Croatoan plot.
> 
> Quick note, Sam & Klaus make very little appearances in this chapter and Bobby makes zero. They’ll have bigger storylines in the next chapter, which I’m going to start working on tomorrow (technically today, since it’s 3am lmao). I hope to have it out real soon. And I know y’all want answers to the whole Klaus & God plot, but that won’t be explained till later (end of this book and beginning of next- it isn’t a plot hole, though. I am working on it.). 
> 
> TW for this chapter: Illness, death, burn scars, hints at possible eating disorder & Lucifer. Also hints at depression and suicidal tendencies. Be careful. This chapter is a lot.

After wandering around the post-apocalyptic word for a bit, Dean comes across a fence which he breaks. A sign on the fence catches his eyes. It reads: “CROATOAN VIRUS. HOT SPOT. NO ENTRY BY ORDER OF ACTING REGIONAL COMMAND. AUGUST 1ST, 2014.” 

He frowns as he reads it. "August first, 2014."

August 1st, 2014. There’s no way. Last night when he’d fallen asleep, it was August 27th, 2009. Dean is a deep sleeper, but he’s not  that  deep of a sleeper. There’s no way he slept through five years and the apocalypse. There’s just no way.

He continues walking until he comes across a car, which is already fueled, conveniently enough. He hotwires it and then drives off. When he switches on the radio, there’s nothing but static. "That's never a good sign."

"’Croatoan pandemic reaches Australia’." An all too familiar voice said. 

When Dean turns his head, he finds Zachariah in the shotgun, reading off of a newspaper. "I thought I smelled your stink on this  Back to the Future crap."

"’President Palin defends bombing of Houston’." Zachariah said. "Certainly a buyer's market in real estate. Let's see what's happening in sports. That's right—no more sports. Congress revoked the right to group assembly. What's left of Congress, that is. Hardly a quorum, if you ask me."

"How did you find me?"

"Afraid we had to tap some unorthodox resources of late—human informants." Zachariah said. "We've been making inspirational visits to the fringier Christian groups. They've been given your image, told to keep an eye out."

Dean knows just who he’s talking about. "The Bible freak outside the motel—he, what, dropped a dime on me?"

"Onward, Christian soldiers."

"Okay, well, good, great." Dean said. "You have had your jollies. Now send me back, you son of a bitch."

"Oh, you'll get back—all in good time." Zachariah said. "We want you to marinate a bit."

"Marinate?" What the fuck does that mean?

"Three days, Dean." Zachariah said. "Three days to see where this course of action takes you."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means that your choices have consequences." Zachariah said. "This is what happens to the world if you continue to say "no" to Michael. Have a little look-see."

And just like that, Zachariah is gone.

-

Dean drives until he’s at Bobby’s.

He thought it would give him some reassurance and calm him down a bit. But it doesn’t. Instead, it only worsens his fear, because it’s in the exact same state as the rest of the country.

The hunter rushes up to the door, hoping the inside of the house looks better than the outside. He opens it and if possible, it looks worse. Everything is trashed and broken. There’s spiderwebs and dust, which tells no one has lived here in a very long time.

"Bobby?" Dean calls, walking deeper into the house. "Klaus, Bobby, I'm coming in!" The further he walks, the worse it looks. It looks nothing like the home he grew up in. "Oh, no."

What scares him most is the wheelchair that lies on its side. As he sets it upright, he can’t help but notice the dried blood and bullet holes on the seat. He forces himself away from the chair and runs a hand through his hair. What happened? Where’s his family?

"Where is everybody, Bobby?" 

He comes across Bobby’s journal, which has a photo hidden in between the pages. In the photo, there’s Bobby, Castiel, Klaus, three men he does not recognize and a sign.

"Camp Chitaqua." Dean said.

Picture in hand, Dean hops back into the car and begins his search for Camp Chitaqua, where he hopes to find his family.

-

It takes a day, but eventually, Dean finds the mysterious Camp Chitaqua. Armed men patrol outside of the fence and to avoid being shot, Dean is careful to stay out of sight. The sight of a destroyed car catches his eyes.

It’s the Impala. 

"Oh, baby, no." He said, silently approaching his Baby. He peeks inside the Impala. "Oh, no, baby, what did they do to you?"

From behind him, he hears a noise.

He barely has a second to turn around before his entire world goes black.

-

When Dean returns to consciousness, he finds himself handcuffed to a ladder and an older, rougher looking version of himself standing eight feet away, cleaning a gun. "What the hell?" He asks, because that’s all that’s going through his head right now. 

What the hell. What the hell. What the hell. What the hell.

"I should be asking that question, don't you think?" Future Dean said. "In fact, why don't you give me one good reason why I shouldn't gank you right here and now?"

"Because you'd only be hurting yourself." Dean said.

"Very funny."

Dean huffs. "Look, man—I'm no shapeshifter or demon or anything, okay?" 

"Yeah, I know." Future Dean replies. "I did the drill while you were out. Silver, salt, holy water—nothing. But you know what was funny? Was that you had every hidden lockpick, box cutter, and switchblade that I carry. Now, you want to explain that? Oh, and the, uh, resemblance, while you're at it?"

"Zachariah."

Future Dean stands. "Come again?"

"I'm you from the tail end of 2009." Dean explains. "Zach plucked me from my bed and threw me five years into the future."

"Where is he?" Future Dean asks. "I want to talk to him."

"I don't know."

"Oh, you don't know."

"No, I don't know." Dean said. "Look, I just want to get back to my own friggin' year, okay?"

"Okay." Future Dean said. "If you're me, then tell me something only I would know."

Dean thinks, then smirks. "Rhonda Hurley." He said. "We were, uh, nineteen. She made us try on her panties. They were pink. And satiny. And you know what? We kind of liked it."

"Touché." Future Dean said. "So, what, Zach zapped you up here to see how bad it gets?"

"I guess." Dean said. "Croatoan virus, right? That's their endgame?"

"It's efficient, it's incurable, and it's scary as hell." Future Dean replies. "Turns people into monsters. Started hitting the major cities about two years ago. World really went in the crapper after that."

"What about Sam?"

Future Dean freezes. "Heavyweight showdown in Detroit." He said. "From what I understand, Sam didn't make it."

"You weren't with him?"

"No." Future Dean said. "No, me and Sam, we haven't talked in—hell, five years."

"We never tried to find him?"

"We had other people to worry about." Future Dean replies.

"Klaus?"

Emotion fills Future Dean’s once emotionless eyes, but is quickly replaced with nothing. "Klaus isn’t around anymore." He said. And Dean can feel the sadness begin to form in his chest. Klaus is dead? He’s immortal... how is he dead.

Future Dean begins to leave.

"Where you going?" Dean asks.

"I got to run an errand."

"Whoa." Dean said. "You're just gonna leave me here?"

"Yes." Future Dean said. "I got a camp full of twitchy trauma survivors out there with an apocalypse hanging over their head. The last thing they need to see is a version of  The Parent Trap . So, yeah, you stay locked down."

"Okay. All right." Dean said. "Fine. But you don't have to cuff me, man. Oh, come on. You don't trust yourself?"

"No." Future Dean said. "Absolutely not."

Future Dean leaves.

"Dick."

Dean looks around the room. He finds a nail sticking up from the floorboard and pries it out. Using the nail, he removes his handcuffs.

And he escapes.

-

The camp is well built and organized. There are a good bit of people whom Dean doesn’t recognize, but also a few he does. For instance, the man walking up to him right now is a man he knows all too well and who he doesn’t particularly like all that much. 

"Hey, Dean." Future Chuck said. "You got a second?"

"No—yes." Dean said. "Uh, I—I guess. Hi, Chuck."

"Hi." Future Chuck said. "So, uh, listen, we're pretty good on canned goods for now, but we're down to next to nothing on perishables and—and hygiene supplies. People are not gonna be happy about this. So, what do you think we should do?

"I—I don't know." Dean said. "Maybe, uh, share? You know, like at a kibbutz."

"Wait a minute." Future Chuck said. Dean freezes. Shit. He knows. Of course he does, Dean is way hotter than Future Dean- it’s just so obvious! "Aren’t you supposed to be out on a mission right now?"

Oh. So he wasn’t found out. That’s good. "Absolutely." He replies. "And I will be."

Chuck stares past Dean. "Uh-oh."

Dean turns around just in time to see a woman trying to punch him. "Whoa!" Dean said. "Jeez! Easy, lady!"

He ducks then hides behind Chuck. "Risa." Chuck corrects.

"Risa?" Dean echoes.

"You spent the night in Jane's cabin last night, didn't you?" Risa asks and while Dean doesn’t know the answer to her question, he has to admit- it does sound like him. He’s not gonna tell her that though. Definitely not.

"Uh, what?" He said. "I—I don't—did I?"

Chuck nods.

"I thought we had a 'connection'." Risa said, air-quoting the last word. 

"Well, I'm sure that we do."

"Yeah?"

"Hi, Risa." Chuck said, waving.

"Screw you." Risa said, walking off.

"Oh, jeez." Dean said. "I'm getting busted for stuff I haven't even done yet."

It isn’t until Chuck speaks that he realizes what he said. "What?"

"Uh, never mind." Dean said. "Hey, Chuck, is...Cas still here?"

"Yeah." Chuck said and Thank God, Castiel will know what to do. Dean won’t have to spend a second longer here as long as he finds Cas. "I don't think Cas is going anywhere."

But then Chuck says that. And Dean’s anxiety skyrockets.

-

So. Cas isn’t gravely ill or injured.

At least it doesn’t appear that way, as right now Future Cas is sitting in a circle with a bunch of women, chatting about God knows what. "So, in this way." He’s saying. "We're each a fragment of total perception—just, uh, one compartment in that dragonfly eye of group mind. Now, the key to this total, shared perception—it's, um, it's surprisingly physical."

His eyes scan the room and they land on Dean.

"Oh." He said. "Excuse me, ladies. I think I need to confer with our fearless leader for a minute. Why not go get washed up for the orgy?"

All women leave.

"You're all so beautiful."

Future Cas stands and stretches his back, grunting. "What are you, a hippie?" Dean asks. Future Cas gives him a look of disappointment and sadness.

"I thought you'd gotten over trying to label me."

"Cas, we got to talk."

"Whoa." Future Cas said. "Strange."

"What?" Dean asks.

"You...are not you." Future Cas said. "Not now you, anyway."

"No! Yeah." Dean said. "Yes, exactly."

"What year are you from?" Future Cas asks.

"2009." 

"Who did this to you?" Future Cas asks. "Is it Zachariah?"

"Yes."

"Interesting."

"Oh, yeah, it's friggin' fascinating." Dean said. "Now. Why don't you strap on your angel wings and fly me back to my page on the calendar?"

Future Cas laughs uncomfortably. "I wish I could just, uh, strap on my wings, but I'm sorry, no dice." He said. Which is... is he high? When Klaus died, did Cas inherit his drug addiction?

"What, are you stoned?"

"Uh, generally, yeah."

"What happened to you?" Dean asks.

"Life."

-

After talking to Future Cas, the hunter wandered back outside just in time to witness the arrival of two cars; A car and a Jeep following closely behind. Future Dean hops out and with him a few soldiers. 

The 2014 version of himself grabs two beers and throws one to one solider in particular, who catches it and opens it. The two men drink from their beer bottles and then Future Dean pulls out a gun and points it at the soldier.

"Hey." Dean said. "Hey! Watch out!"

Future Dean shoots the soldier; The other soldiers look at Dean, then future Dean, and back at Dean, confused. "Damn it." Future Dean said. He turns around. "I'm not gonna lie to you. Me and him—It's a pretty messed-up situation we got going. But believe me, when you need to know something, you will know it. Until then, we all have work to do."

Future Dean’s eyes land on him and for a second, Dean worries he’s about to be killed by his future self.

-

"What the hell was that?"

After making himself known to the soldiers, Dean was forcefully shoved into a building by Future Dean. Which brings us to now.

"What the hell was that?" Dean echoes. "You just shot a guy in cold blood."

"We were in an open quarantine zone." Future Dean said. "Got ambushed by some Croats on the way out." Dean gives him a questioning look as to say ‘what the fuck does that mean?’ so Future Dean continues. "Croats. Croatoans. One of them infected Yeager."

What kinda name is Yeager. "How do you know?"

"'Cause after a few years of this, I know." Future Dean said. "I started seeing symptoms about a half an hour ago. Wasn't gonna be long before he flipped. I didn't see the point in troubling a good man with bad news."

"'Troubling a good man'?" Dean said. "You just blew him away in front of your own people. Don't you think that freaked them out a little bit?"

"It's 2014." Future Dean said. "Plugging some Croat, it's called commonplace. Trading words with my friggin' clone—that might have freaked them out a little."

"All right, look—"

"No, you look." Future Dean said. "This isn't your time. It's mine. You don't make the decisions. I do. So, when I say stay in, you stay in."

"All right, man." Dean said. "I'm sorry. Look, I—I'm not trying to mess you—me—us up here."

Future Dean sighs. "I know."

Dean watches his future counterpart pour two glasses of alcohol. "It's just been a really wacky weekend." He said. Future Dean nods in agreement and hands Dean a glass.

"Tell me about it."

"What was the mission, anyway?" Dean asks.

Then, Future Dean pulls something unexpected out.

"The Colt?"

"The Colt." Future Dean confirms with a smirk.

"Where was it?" Dean asks. If he gets this information, he can help Cas-  his  Cas, not Hippie Cas- find the colt. Maybe if they find it, they can kill Lucifer and none of this will ever have to happen. 

"Everywhere." Future Dean said. "They've been moving it around. Took me five years, but...I finally got it. And tonight—tonight, I'm gonna kill the devil."

"No you’re not."

Dean turns around. Nothing could’ve prepared Dean for what he’s seeing right now.

"Klaus?"

Standing before him is Klaus, but not  Klaus . His Klaus has bright eyes filled with life, albeit it’s dimmed a bit over the years. But this Klaus has empty eyes, it’s been dimmed to the point of no existence. His Klaus is thin but not to the point it’s concerning. This Klaus’s clothes hang off him, showing his collarbones. His Klaus looks young, this one appears to have aged ten years over the course of five. 

While all of that is unsettling, what’s most unsettling is the burn scars that cover his face, neck and probably whole body. Dean can’t help but stare.

"Hey, Dean, Past Dean." Future Klaus said. "It’s been awhile."

-

"What do you want,  Klaus ?" Future Dean asks, taking a step closer to the medium. 

"I came to stop you from ending your own life,  Dean ." Future Klaus said. Dean tries to ignore the way his future counterpart and brother seem to despite each other, but it doesn’t work. So many questions of what the fuck happened run through his mind, he barely notices the fact he’s still staring at Future Klaus. "Damn, did your Mommy not teach you it’s rude to stare? Oh wait. She’s didn’t. She died when you were four."

That... that stings more than Dean would like to admit. Apparently, Klaus’s appearance wasn’t the only thing to change. He want from being so sweet to so cruel. This Klaus is nothing like his Klaus. 

"I’m sorry." Dean said. "I’m just... I thought... Dean said you died?"

"I did on the inside." Future Klaus said. "And yeah, Dean only said that ‘cause he wishes I was."

"I never said that, Klaus." Future Dean said, hurt.

"Well, you sure do act like you did." Future Klaus. "I can tell by how you look at me. Like I’m a monster. I can’t help I look like this, but I can help you not to. Which is why I’m telling you this- don’t go after Lucifer."

"Klaus, we already had this discussion!" Future Dean said. "I’ve gotta go after him. It’s the only way to stop all of ... all of this ." 

"You can’t stop what already happened, Dean." Future Klaus said. "Even if you save Lucifer, majority of the world is still gonna be dead. It won’t bring Bobby back or Sam or my siblings back. If it did, I wouldn’t have given up on killing the bastard. You need to let it go. Just let the world in. ‘Cause frankly? The entire world is tired of living. Letting Lucifer set it on flames will give them the peace they deserve."

"What about you?" Future Dean asks.

"What about me?" Klaus asks. "Maybe I’ll die. Maybe I won’t. It doesn’t matter, at this point. I’m just tired of seeing the people around me hurt. I’m tired of scaring people. I’m just... I’m tired, Dean. And I know you are, too. So don’t kill Lucifer. Stay here instead. Let the world die out. Rest. You deserve it."

Future Dean pauses, seemingly considering everything Future Klaus just said. "Well, Klaus." He said. "Maybe you don’t know me as well as you thought. Because unlike you, I don’t give up the second things get hard."

Future Klaus’s eyes fill with tears. "Dean-"

"Don’t." Future Dean stops him. "I want you out of my camp when I get back tonight, okay? No quitter is allowed to stay and waste my resources."

Future Dean shoves past Future Klaus.

Dean, who watched the entire scene play out, opens his mouth to speak. "Klaus-"

"No offense, Past Dean." Klaus said. "I don’t feel like seeing your face right now."

He leaves the room; Dean is alone.

"Well, I mean..." He said. "That’s fair."

-

Night approaches quickly, and before Dean knows it he’s inside the briefing room with everyone else and they’re discussing the plan to kill Lucifer tonight. Meanwhile, from his room a few cabins away, Future Klaus packs his belongings and prepares to leave.

"So, that's it? That's the Colt?" Dean asks.

"If anything can kill Lucifer, this is it." Future Dean replies.

"Great." Risa said. "Have we got anything that can  find Lucifer?"

"Are you okay?" Future Dean asks.

"Oh, we were in, uh, Jane's cabin last night." Dean explains. "And, apparently, we and...Risa have a connection."

"You want to shut up?"

Dean raises his hands in surrender. Future Dean continues his briefing.

"We don't have to find Lucifer." Future Dean informs. "We know where he is. The demon that we caught last week, he was one of the big guy's entourage. He knew."

"So, a demon tells you where Satan's gonna be, and you just believe it?" Risa asks.

"Oh, trust me, he wasn't lying." Future Dean assures.

"And you know this how?"

"Our fearless leader, I'm afraid, is all too well schooled in the art of getting to the truth."

That catches Dean off guard. "Torture?" He echoes. "Oh, so, we're—we're torturing again." Future Dean gives him a look. "No, that's—that's good. Classy."

~~ Hippie ~~ Future Cas laughs and this time, he’s the one receiving the look from Future Dean. "What?" Future Cas asks. "I like past you."

"Lucifer is here." Future Dean said. "Now. I know the block and I know the building."

"Oh, good—it's right in the middle of a hot zone."

"Crawling with Croats, yeah." Future Dean said. "You saying my plan is reckless?"

"Are you saying we, uh, walk in straight up the driveway, past all the demons and the Croats, and we shoot the devil?" Future Cas asks.

"Yes."

"Okay, if you don't like, uh, 'reckless', I could use 'insouciant', maybe."

Future Dean huffs. "Are you coming?"

Future Cas sighs. "Of course." He said. "But why is he? I mean, he's you five years ago. If something happens to him, you're gone, right?"

"He's coming."

"Okay." Future Cas said. "Well, uh. I'll get the grunts moving. Where’s Klaus?"

"Klaus left." Future Dean said.

"That’s unlike him." Castiel said with a frown.

"Well, he didn’t have much of a choice." Future Dean explains. "I kicked him out."

"You  what ?!"

"It’s not important right now." Future Dean said. "We’re loaded and on the road by midnight."

Future Cas seems hesitant. "All righty."

He leaves and Risa follows behind. Dean turns to his future self. "Why are you taking me?"

Future Dean sighs slightly in annoyance. "Relax." He said. "You'll be fine. Zach's looking after you, right?"

"No, that's not what I mean." Dean said. "I want to know what's going on."

"Yeah, okay." Future Dean said. "You're coming because I want you to see something. I want you to see our brother."

That confuses Dean. "Sam?" He asks. "I thought he was dead."

"Sam didn't die in Detroit." Future Dean said. "He said 'yes'."

"'Yes'?" Dean echoes. Realization strikes him. Sam isn’t dead. He’s Lucifer. Which means, if Klaus ended up the way he did because of Lucifer, he technically ended up that way because of... because of Sam. "Wait. You mean—"

"That's right." Future Dean said. "The big 'yes'. To the devil. Lucifer's wearing him to the prom."

"Why would he do that?" Dean asks, mostly to himself.

"Wish I knew." Future Dean said. "But now we don't have a choice. It's in him, and it's not getting out. And we've got to kill him, Dean. And you need to see it—the whole damn thing, how bad it gets—so you can do it different."

"What do you mean?' Dean asks.

"Zach said he was gonna bring you back, right?" Future Dean asks. "To oh-nine?"

'Yeah."

"Well, when you get back home—you say 'yes'." Future Dean asks and Dean can’t believe what he’s hearing. He wants to say yes to Michael? Why? How? Surely, there’s another way to save the world. "You hear me? Say 'yes' to Michael."

"That's crazy." Dean said. "If I let him in, then Michael fights the devil. The battle's gonna torch half the planet."

"Look around you, man." Future Dean said. "Half the planet's better than no planet, which is what we have now. If I could do it over again, I'd say 'yes' in a heartbeat."

"So why don't you?"

"I've tried!" Future Dean yells. "I've shouted 'yes' till I was blue in the face! The angels aren't listening! They just—left—gave up! It's too late for me, but for you—"

"Oh, no." Dean said. "There's got to be another way."

"Yeah, that's what I thought." Future Dean replies. "I was cocky. Never actually thought I'd lose. But I was wrong. Dean. I was wrong. I'm begging you. Say yes." He pauses. "But you won't. 'Cause I didn't. Because that's just not us, is it?"

Dean hates to admit it, but... it is.

-

After being warned by Chuck to stock up on toilet paper as it’ll soon be worth more than gold, Dean climbs into the passengers seat of Future Castiel’s truck as the Angel drives and... pops pills?

"Let me see those."

He takes the bottle from the hippie and reads it. "You want some?" Future Cas asks.

"Amphetamines?"

"It's the perfect antidote to that absinthe." 

"Mmm." Dean said. "Don't get me wrong, Cas. I, uh. I'm happy that the stick is out of your ass, but—what's going on—w-with the drugs and the orgies and the love-guru crap? It’s like you and Klaus completely switched!" The Angel laughs, somewhat hysterically. "What's so funny?

"First of all, Dean." Future Cas said. "I was never like how Klaus is now. He’s cruel. I was just realistic. He’s depressed. I was emotionless. We’re two different sides of the same coin, yes. But we’re different. We’re not the same."

Dean nods. "What’s the other thing?"

"Oh, yeah." Future Castiel said. "That. Um, I’m not an Angel anymore."

"What?"

"Yeah, I went mortal."

"What do you mean?" Dean asks. "How?"

"I think it had something to do with the other angels leaving." Future Castiel explains. "But when they bailed, my mojo just kind of— psshhew!—drained away. And now, you know, I'm practically human. I mean, Dean, I'm all but useless. Last year, broke my foot, laid up for two months."

"Wow."

"Yeah."

"So, you're human." Dean said. "Well, welcome to the club."

"Thanks." Future Castiel said. "Except I used to belong to a much better club. And now I'm powerless. I'm hapless, I'm hopeless. I mean, why the hell not bury myself in women and decadence, right? It's the end, baby. That's what decadence is for. Why not bang a few gongs before the lights go out? But then that's, that's just how I roll."

Dean contemplates this.

And without a word, he turns his head and stares out the window.

-

Future Castiel, Future Dean, Risa, some soldiers and Dean walk, carrying guns and scanning the area. They’re in the hot zone, which means not everyone will be coming out as humans with perfect health. Instead, they’ll come out monsters who are slowly and painfully dying.

Future Dean points at something. "There." He said. "Second-floor window. We go in there."

"You sure about this?"

"They'll never see us coming." Future Dean replies. "Trust me. Now, weapons check. We're on the move in five."

A bad feeling forms in Dean’s stomach. This doesn’t feel right. Not one bit. "Hey, uh, me." He said. "Can I talk to you for a sec?" Future Dean looks unhappy, but agrees nonetheless and follows Dean away from the crowd. "Tell me what's going on."

"What?"

"I know you." Dean said. "You're lying to these people and to me."

"Is that so." Future Dean said.

"Yeah." Dean replies. "See, I know your lying expressions. I've seen them in the mirror. Now, there's something you're not telling us."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Oh, really?" Dean asks. "Well, I don't seem to be the only member of your posse with some questions, so, uh, maybe I'll just take my doubts over to them."

"Okay, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa." Future Dean said. "Wait."

"What?"

"Take a look around you, man." Future Dean replies. "This place should be white-hot with Croats. Where are they?"

"They cleared a path for us." Dean said, realizing something. "Which means that this is—"

"A trap." Future Dean confirms. "Exactly."

"Well, then we can't go through the front."

"Oh, we're not." Future Dean explains. "They are. They're the decoys. You and me, we're going in through the back."

"You mean you're gonna feed your friends into a meat grinder?" Dean asks. "Cas, too? You want to use their deaths as a diversion?" Future Dean looks away, unable to meet Dean’s eyes. "Oh, man, something is broken in you. You're making decisions that I would never make. I wouldn't kick my friends out. I especially wouldn’t sacrifice my friends."

"You're right." Future Dean said. "You wouldn't. It's one of the main reasons we're in this mess, actually."

"These people count on you." Dean said. "They trust you."

"They trust me to kill the devil and to save the world and that's exactly what I'm gonna do." Future Dean replies.

"No. Not like this, you're not." Dean said. "I'm not gonna let you."

"Oh, really?" 

"Yeah."

The last thing Dean remembers before his entire world blackened is a fist coming straight to his face.

-

When Dean regains consciousness, he’s on the ground and there’s gunfire. With shaky feet the hunter runs toward the noise. What he sees shocks him to his very core.

Lightning flashes, thunder crashes. Future Dean is on the floor with someone wearing white standing on his neck. For a second, the older man makes eye contact with Dean, and then his neck snaps from the persons weight.

The person turns around and Dean immediately recognizes who it is; It’s Sam, but not Sam. It’s Lucifer wearing Sam’s meatsuit, and he just fucking killed Future Dean. As he gapes, the Devil grins. "Oh. Hello, Dean." He said. "Aren't you a surprise."

Lucifer disappears only to reappear behind Dean a second later. 

"You've come a long way to see this, haven't you?"

"Well, go ahead." Dean said, accepting his fate. "Kill me."

"Kill you?" Lucifer asks, looking down at the corpse of Future Dean. "Don't you think that would be a little...redundant?" He pauses. "I'm sorry. It must be painful, speaking to me in this—shape. But it had to be your brother. It had to be." He reaches for Dean, who pulls back. "You don't have to be afraid of me, Dean. What do you think I'm going to do?"

"I don't know." Dean said. "Maybe deep-fry the planet?"

Lucifer picks a rose and examines it before turning to face Dean. "Why? Why would I want to destroy this stunning thing?" He asks. "Beautiful in a trillion different ways. The last perfect handiwork of God." Dean doesn’t speak. He can’t. "You ever hear the story of how I fell from grace?"

"Oh, good God, you're not gonna tell me a bedtime story, are you?" Dean asks. "My stomach's almost out of bile."

"You know why God cast me down?" Lucifer continues on anyway. "Because I loved Him. More than anything. And then God created..." He smirks. Dean has never seen a smile so evil. "You. The little...hairless apes. And then He asked all of us to bow down before you—to love you, more than Him. And I said, "Father, I can't." I said, "These human beings are flawed, murderous." And for that, God had Michael cast me into hell. Now, tell me, does the punishment fit the crime? Especially, when I was right? Look at what six billion of you have done to this thing, and how many of you blame me for it."

"You're not fooling me, you know that?" Dean asks. "With this sympathy-for-the-devil crap. I know what you are."

"What am I?"

"You're the same thing, only bigger." Dean said. "The same brand of cockroach I've been squashing my whole life. An ugly, evil, belly-to-the-ground, supernatural piece of crap. The only difference between them and you is the size of your ego."

Lucifer grins. "I like you, Dean." He said. "I get what the other angels see in you. Goodbye. We'll meet again soon."

He turns to walk away; Dean stops him. "You better kill me now!"

He turns back. "Pardon?"

"You better kill me now." Dean said. "Or I swear, I will find a way to kill you. And I won't stop."

"I know you won't." Lucifer said. "I know you won't say yes to Michael, either. And I know you won't kill Sam. Whatever you do, you will always end up here. Whatever choices you make, whatever details you alter, we will always end up—here. I win. So, I win."

"You're wrong."

"See you in five years, Dean."

Lucifer vanishes into thunder and lightning.

Dean turns around and sees Zachariah, who reaches for his forehead with two fingers.

His world goes dark.

-

When Dean opens his eyes, he’s back in his motel room, which looks the same as it did the night he arrived in it. He walks into the kitchen and leans against the sink. Zachariah appears in front of him and it takes all his strength not to punch the bastard for making him experience what he just experienced. "Oh, well, if it isn't the ghost of Christmas screw you." He said.

"Enough." Zachariah said. "Dean, enough. You saw it, right? You saw what happens. You're the only person who can prove the devil wrong. Just say yes."

"How do I know that this whole thing isn't one of your tricks?" Dean asks. "Huh? Some angel hocus-pocus?"

"The time for tricks is over." Zachariah replies. "Give yourself to Michael. Say yes and we can strike. Before Lucifer gets to Sam. Before Klaus is burnt alive by them. Before you and Klaus are forced to kill the people you love. Before billions die."

He faux-considers, turning away from Zachariah. "Nah."

"'Nah'?" Zachariah echoes. "You telling me you haven't learned your lesson?"

"Oh, I've learned a lesson, all right." Dean said. "Just not the one you wanted to teach."

"Well, I'll just have to teach it again!" Zachariah said. "Because I got you now, boy, and I'm never letting you—"

Before Zachariah can even finish that thought, Dean is standing on the side of the road with Castiel. And it’s actually Castiel, this time. Not Hippie Cas, but  his  Cas. He could kiss him right now for saving his ass.

"That's pretty nice timing, Cas."

"We had an appointment."

Dean places a hand on the Angel’s shoulder. "Don't ever change."

"How did Zachariah find you?" Castiel asks.

"Long story." He replies. "Let's just stay away from Jehovah's Witnesses from now on, okay?" 

He pulls out his phone. "What are you doing?"

"Something I should have done in the first place." Dean said then dials a number.

A familiar voice fills his ear. "Dean?"

"Hey, Sammy."

-

Dean leans against the Impala as he waits for his little brother. A car pulls up and Dean begins walking toward it, just as the driver hops out and begins approaching him.

"Sam." He said, pulling out Ruby’s knife. Sam looks down at it, nervous. "If you're serious and you want back in...you should hang on to this. I'm sure you're rusty." Sam takes it, avoiding Dean’s eyes. Dean sighs slightly. "Look, man, I'm sorry. I don't know. I'm...whatever I need to be. But I was, uh—wrong."

"What made you change your mind?"

"Long story." Dean replies. "The point is...maybe we are each other's Achilles heel. Maybe they'll find a way to use us against each other, I don't know. I just know we're all we've got. More than that. We keep each other human."

"Thank you." Sam said. "Really. Thank you. I won't let you down."

"Oh, I know it." Dean said. "I mean, you are the second-best hunter on the planet."

Sam nods, a hint of a smile on his face. "So, what do we do now?"

"We make our own future."

"Guess we have no choice." Sam said. "Hey, where’s Klaus?"

"At Bobby’s." Dean said, climbing back inside the Impala. "Which is where we’re headed now. I need to talk to the kid about something serious."

"Is everything okay with him?"

"Right now, yes." Dean said. "Later, no. Which is why I need to talk to him. I need to talk him out of doing something incredibly dumb. You in?"

"More than ever."

"Good." Dean said. "Let’s go."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What did you think? Confused? Like it? Hate it? Like it but hate what I did to Klaus and confused about what happened to him? Well, I’ll explain if it’s the latter.
> 
> Basically, Dean was transported 5 years into a post-apocalyptic future where there’s a deadly virus that turns its victims into mouth-bleeding zombies. Most of America’s population is dead, and the ones who survived are living in a camp ran by 2014 Dean. Inside the camp, present day Dean (2009 Dean) discovers his future self along with future Castiel, future Chuck, and future Klaus, although future Chuck doesn’t play a large role into the plot. They’re all broken in their own ways and have taken up coping mechanisms; Dean lost his brother & father figure so to take his mind off the pain, he tortures people & demons. Castiel lost his friend, Angel powers, and failed to save the world so to take his mind off of the pain, he does drugs and sleeps around with anyone and everyone. Klaus lost his surrogate brother, all his siblings, niece, father figure, and because of his burn scars, he also lost any chance of anyone treating him with an ounce of humanity since they think he looks like a “monster”.
> 
> How did Bobby & company die? Why does Dean hate Klaus? How did he get those scars? Well. I’ll explain some more.
> 
> Bobby & Company (aka, Klaus’s siblings, niece and BIL) died from Croatoan. Bobby got it first, tried attacking Klaus and in a moment of fear, Klaus killed him which Dean never got over. Before his siblings fell ill they joined Klaus at the camp, but one day Claire escaped and developed the virus. Dean killed her and in her grief, Allison killed herself. Luther and Diego became soldiers for the camp because watching the people they cared for die brought them too much pain, and eventually, they were killed by the Croats. Vanya discovered her powers while she was deep in grief, and was recruited by the soldiers to take the place of Diego and Luther; Eventually, she developed the virus like Claire, and this time instead of Dean being the one to pull the trigger, it was Klaus, and he struggled with nightmares about it every night. Allison’s husband is still alive in the camp although Klaus and him don’t get along too well, so they avoid each other. None of his siblings haunt him, not even Ben anymore, because Lucifer made it where anytime someone he was close with died, they’d go straight to Hell.
> 
> Dean hates Klaus for killing Bobby, his one father figure in life. Klaus hates Dean for killing his niece, whom he was very close with.
> 
> Klaus got those scars from trying to kill Sam. Basically, after being told by God what he had to do, Klaus insisted there was another way and began his search for one. Unfortunately, he came up empty and realized what he had to do. As he charged at Sam, ready to kill, he realized Lucifer had already possessed the hunter and it was too late. Lucifer placed his hands on Klaus’s head and the medium was engulfed in flames. Due to Klaus’s immortality, he returned to the land of living, but his body was beyond healing and everyone treated him like a monster for the way he looked. Eventually he fell into a deep depression and stopped eating & sleeping pretty much altogether. He took his anger out on everyone around him, and became the very thing they saw him as- a monster.
> 
> Anyway.
> 
> Thank you for reading this chapter! I appreciate it. And anyone else wanna give Klaus a hug? I surely do. Poor baby. :(
> 
> (P.S. I dare you to Google “:)” and click on images.)


	6. Gabriel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dr. Piccolo- the real fucking Dr. Piccolo- from Dr. Sexy, MD, approaches Sam, Dean, and Klaus. "Doctor." She said, and then she slaps Sam, right across the face. Never in his life has Dean ever wished that he was the one to be slapped.
> 
> Or,
> 
> Sam opens the door to the motel room which strongly resembles the one they were staying at before all of this shit happened. When he enters, applause ensues immediately after. His eyes fall on Klaus, who sits on the couch, looking bored out of his mind, and then onto Dean, who is building a foot-tall-sandwich. "Hey there, Sam." Dean greets. "What's happening?"
> 
> "Oh, nothing." He replies. "Um. Just the end of the world."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter out in this month? Sheesh. I’m on a roll!
> 
> To be honest I don’t care for this chapter. Klaus doesn’t have as much lines and Ben isn’t with the gang really at all. But it’s based on one of my favorite episodes of Supernatural because one of my favorite characters is on it, so I decided why not write it into the story. Also it’s important later on.
> 
> TW: Mention of decapitation, mention of spousal abuse,

After reuniting with Dean, the two brothers hopped into the Impala and quickly drove off to Bobby’s, where they met up with Klaus and started hunting as a team again. 

That was weeks ago, and a lot has happened since.

The past few weeks consisted of a murderous Paris Hilton, the Antichrist, a suicidal Bobby, and an elderly Dean. Basically, it was the most chaotic weeks in history, and Sam is looking forward to some peace and quiet.

As of right now, the hunters and ex-superheroes are staying in some tacky, overly colorful and bright motel room. Sam walks out of the bathroom, dressed with a suit and tie, and pauses in the doorway. What he’s seeing right now he can use to embarrass Dean for the rest of his life.

Dean sits on the foot of the bed, eyes full of tears and focused on the television in front of him while some sappy medical drama plays. "What are you watching?" Sam asks, startling his older brother.

"Hospital show." Dean said. "Dr. Sexy, MD. I think it's based on a book."

"When did you hit menopause?" 

"It's called channel surfing." Dean said, standing.

"Yeah it does but that’s not what you were doing." Klaus said. "You asked me what time it was, I told you, and you got all excited and turned this on."

"You’re no help."

"I’m not paid to help, Dean." Klaus said. "I’m paid to talk to ghosts and look sexy doing it."

"You aren’t even paid."

"Thanks for reminding me, Dean."

Dean shakes his head and laughs as he switches off the TV. "Are you ready?"

"Are you?" Sam asks.

"Yeah." Dean said. "What about you, Klaus, Ben?"

"We’ve been ready for an hour now." Klaus said. "Now, let’s go already!"

The medium floats out of the motel room. Sam and Dean look at each other. 

"We gotta go before he leaves without us." Dean said, taking his coat and walking towards the door. Sam follows behind and the three men (plus ghost) climb into the Impala just like they do everyday.

Little did they know this day would be nothing like every other day.

-

Dean, Klaus, Ben, and Sam sit in the police station, posing as the FBI. They’re investigating the murder of a man who died by having his head ripped off. Everyone suspects animal attack, but the hunters don’t. What bear chases a man through the woods, into his house, up his stairs and into his room, just to rip his head off of him then leave?

The answer is no bear. Bears aren’t smart enough to do all of that.

Which is why they’re interviewing the wife of the man who was brutally murdered, Kathy Randolph. "No, it must have been a bear." She said. "I mean, what else could it have been?"

"Mrs. Randolph, what do you think it was?" Sam asks.

Kathy seems to be debating with her self what to say next. "No, I, I remember clearly now." She replies. "It was definitely a bear."

"We're sure it was." Dean said. "But see, it helps us to hear every angle. So just tell us what you thought you saw."

"No one will judge you." Klaus promises.

"It's impossible, but...I could have sworn I saw...the Incredible Hulk." Kathy admits. Which is not what Ben expected. What is the Incredible Hulk doing ripping peoples heads off? 

"The Incredible Hulk." Sam, Dean, Klaus and even Ben respond in unison.

"I told you it was crazy."

"Bana or Norton?" Dean asks.

"Oh, no, those movies were terrible." Kathy said. "The TV Hulk."

"Lou Ferrigno."

"Yes."

"Spiky-hair Lou Ferrigno."

"Yes."

"Huh." Dean said, looking at Sam and Klaus.

"You think I'm crazy." Kathy said.

"No." Dean said. "Uh, no, it's just...is there, uh, would there be any reason that Lou Ferrigno, the Incredible Hulk, would have a grudge against your husband?"

"No." Kathy replies.

"No."

-

Back at the motel room, Klaus sits by the window as he tries blocking out the rambling ghost of Bill Randolph, who holds his decapitated head in his hands and discusses in great detail of how he died and who killed him. Turns out, Kathy isn’t insane. He was indeed murdered by the Incredible Hulk. But how? And most importantly, why?

"Hey." Sam said upon entering the motel room.

"Find anything?" Dean asks, looking up from his laptop.

"Well, uh, I saw the house." Sam replies.

"And?"

"And there is a giant eight-foot-wide hole where the front door used to be." Sam said. "Almost like, uh—"

"The Incredible Hulk?" Klaus asks. "Yeah, Billy here has been telling me all about it. Says the Incredible Hulk chased him and then ripped off his head. He just doesn’t know why. Here, I’ll let him annoy you for a bit, too."

"I am not annoying-"

Klaus squeezes his fists and a blue light envelops the ghosts in the room. Luckily, there are only three ghosts haunting him currently, and one of them is Ben. Unluckily, the other ghost is one of the uglier ones- blood drips from her mouth every time she speaks and she keeps screaming in German about how an old man appeared from nowhere and stabbed her twenty times in the stomach before dropping her body in the water. 

"Klaus, I’m so sorry you go through this but if you don’t get rid of that bitch now I’m gonna run my head through the wall." Dean said. "I’m begging you. Please."

Klaus unclenches his fists and the blue light on the ghosts vanishes. That doesn’t make the woman shut up Klaus, unfortunately. For over a minute he listens to the ghost drone on about herself, unable to hear whatever Sam and Dean is saying. Finally, he snaps. "Anneliese, Schleich dich!"

Anneliese’s eyes widen in surprise and anger and she vanishes. Not before muttering about how so disrespectful children are these days.

Klaus turns his attention back to Sam and Dean, who stare wide-eyed at him. "I’m sorry- what were you saying?" He asks. "I was dealing with the ghost."

"They were talking about-"

"Damnit, Bill, let them tell me!"

"Ghosts giving you a tough time?" Sam asks. Klaus nods. "Alright, well, we were talking about how Bill was an abusive man who liked causing fights." 

"Uh huh?"

"Yeah, and well, I went to the crime scene..." Sam said. "And I found these."

He holds out candy wrappers. Klaus frowns and takes one. "So what, the Hulk has a sweet tooth?" He asks. "Most people do. Why is this suspicious to you?" And it’s true. Everyone in his family, from himself even to Pogo, they all had a sweet tooth, especially for Diego’s cookies- those were amazing. 

"It’s a big deal because of everything else about the case." Sam said. "The Incredible Hulk, the candy, all of it. It can only be one thing."

"The Trickster." Dean said. "That’s what it is, isn’t it?"

"It definitely looks like it."

"Good." Dean said. "I've wanted to gank that mother since Mystery Spot."

None of this makes sense. Who is Trickster, what is the Mystery Spot- scratch that, Klaus doesn’t wanna know- and most importantly, why did he pretend to be the Hulk? "I’m sorry, what the Hell is a Trickster?" He asks.

"Oh yeah," Dean said. "You’ve never fought him."

"What is he?"

"It’s kinda hard to explain, but..." Sam said. "Did I tell you about the time I relived the same day like, a thousand times? And every time Dean died in many different ways?"

"No."

"Well, that happened." Sam said. "It was before Dean went to Hell, and the Trickster wanted to teach me a little lesson by making Dean die in the most ridiculous ways possible. That is basically his powers- being ridiculous. He likes candy and causing chaos. He can make himself look like anyone and everyone, the Hulk included. He’s pretty powerful, and that only makes it harder to fight him."

"So, he did kill Billy?"

"Had to of." Dean said. "Unless there’s another one of him out there."

"So, you really wanna kill him?" Sam asks. 

"Yeah, why?" Dean asks. "I mean, the son of a bitch did ice me a thousand-"

"No, I know, I mean, I'm just saying—"

"What are you saying?" Dean asks. "If you don't want to kill him, then what?"

"Talk to him?" Sam suggests.

"What?"

"Think about it, Dean." Sam said. "He's one of the most powerful creatures we've ever met. Maybe we can use him."

"What for?" Klaus asks.

"Okay, Trickster's like a Hugh Hefner type, right?" Sam asks. "Wine, women, song—maybe he doesn't want the party to end. Maybe he hates this angels and demons stuff as much as we do. Maybe he'll help us."

"You're serious." Dean said.

"Yeah." Sam replies.

"Ally with the Trickster." Dean said.

"Yeah." Sam replies.

"A bloody, violent monster, and you wanna be Facebook friends with him?" Dean asks. "Nice, Sammy."

"The world is gonna end, Dean." Sam said. "We don't have the luxury of a moral stand. Look, I'm just saying it's worth a shot. That's all. If it doesn't work, we'll kill him."

"How are we gonna find the guy, anyway?"

"Well, he never takes just one victim, right?' Dean asks. "He'll show."

And he does. 

Just not in the way any of them expected him to.

-

Eventually, Trickster does show, and it doesn’t take long at all.

Dispatch says he’s at the old paper mill on Route 6, and apparently, it’s bad enough that they need everyone on the scene. So, Klaus, Dean, Sam, and probably Ben, hop in the Impala and drive to the abandoned warehouse.

When they get there, there’s not a person in sight.

And so, they walk inside the building and something strange happens.

One second, they’re at some run down paper mill, the next, they’re inside a hospital wearing lab coats and some sappy music is playing in the background. 

The hospital set up and vibe is familiar, but he just can’t quite place why. 

He scans his brothers and himself, frowning when he sees the title “doctor” before a name that is not his. "What the hell?" He asks.

A blonde doctor and an Asian doctor walk by them and greet each other. "Doctor." Blonde doctor said.

"Doctor." Asian doctor replies.

"Doctor?"

Dean walks towards the door they just entered through in hopes he’ll find an answer as to what the hell is going on. Instead, he just finds two people making out in a janitors closet. He quickly closes the door and backs away, deeply disturbed and confused.

And then something amazing happens.

Dr. Piccolo- the real fucking Dr. Piccolo- from Dr. Sexy, MD, approaches Sam, Dean, and Klaus. "Doctor." She said, and then she slaps Sam, right across the face. Never in his life has Dean ever wished that he was the one to be slapped.

"Ow!"

"Seriously." Dr. Piccolo said.

"What?" Sam asks.

"Seriously?" Dr. Piccolo asks. "You're brilliant, you know that? And a coward. You're a brilliant coward."

"Um." Sam said. "What are you talking about?"

Dr. Piccolo slaps him again. "As if you don't know!"

And then, she stalks off, with Dean, Klaus and Sam staring at her as she goes. asks. "I don't believe this." Dean said.

"What?"

"That's Dr. Piccolo."

"Who?" Sam and Klaus ask in unison.

"Dr. Ellen Piccolo." Dean said. "The sexy yet earnest doctor at—" He looks at the sign behind the receptionist’s desk and gestures. "Seattle Mercy Hospital."

"Dean." Sam said. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"The doctor getups." Dean replies. "The, the sexy interns. The 'seriously's. It all makes sense."

"What makes sense?" Sam asks. "What's going on?"

"Are we in Grey’s?" Klaus asks.

"No, Klaus." Dean said. "We're in something much better. We’re in Dr. Sexy, MD."

"Ex-squeeze me?"

-

Sam is very confused.

All he wanted to do was find Trickster, get him onto their side, and maybe save the world. But of course, life is never easy, especially not for them, so when Sam, Dean, and Klaus finally tracked him down, they were transported into Dr. Sexy, MD. Yep. The very Dr. Sexy, MD Dean supposedly is "not a fan of”.

It makes zero sense.

"What the fuck is going on." Klaus said as they walk down the corridors.

"I don't know."

"No, he’s got a point." Dean said. "What the fuck."

"I don't know."

"One theory." Dean said. "Any theory."

"Uh, the Trickster trapped us in TV Land." Sam suggests.

"That's your theory." Dean said. "That's stupid."

"You're the one who said we're on Dr. Sexy, MD." Sam replies.

"Yeah, but TV land isn't TV Land." Dean replies. "I mean, there's actors and, and lights and crew members, you know. This looks real."

"It can't be." Sam replies. "Dean, how can this possibly be real?"

"I don't know."

"I have a theory." Klaus said.

"Shoot."

"Trickster attacked us and now we’re in a coma and this is just a shared dream." Klaus suggests. "It would make sense. We were watching Dr. Sexy, MD earlier today and that show takes place in a hospital, which is where we’d be if we were comatose."

"I don’t think this is a dream, Klaus." Dean said.

The Asian doctor from earlier walks past the three hunters. "Doctors."

"There goes Dr. Wang." Dean said. "The sexy but arrogant heart surgeon."

"So, basically." Klaus said. "Cristina Yang from Grey’s."

"She’s better than Cristina Yang, Klaus." Dean said. "She’s hotter."

She walks down the corridor.

A man sitting on a gurney catches their attention. "And there's Johnny Drake. Oh, he's not even alive, he's a ghost in the mind of-" A brunette doctor sits next to the ghost. "Of her. The sexy yet neurotic doctor over there."

"Sounds a lot like Izzie and Denny from Grey’s, huh?" Klaus said. "Speaking of Denny, is it just me or does Denny strongly resemble your Dad? I swear they’re the same person... Denny is just a nicer, less-douchy version of John."

"Really?" Dean asks. "Huh. I don’t see it."

"Wait, hold on...this show has ghosts?" Sam asks. "Why?"

"I don't know." Dean said. "It is compelling."

"I thought you said you weren't a fan."

"I'm not." Dean denies. "I'm not."

Dean looks down the hall, eyes wide.

"Oh boy."

"What?" Sam asks.

"It's him." Dean said.

"Who?" Klaus asks.

A man wearing a lab coat and name tag that reads “Dr. Palmer” approaches the men. "It's him, it's Dr. Sexy." Dean said. The doctor stops next to Sam and looks at Dean.

"Doctor."

Dean looks down to hide his smile and blush. "Doctor."

"Doctor." Dr. Palmer said to Sam.

"Doctor."

The doctor looks at Klaus. "Doctor."

"Doctor." Klaus replies. "Is it just me or has that word lost it’s meaning?"

Dr. Palmer looks at Dean. "You want to give me one good reason why you defied my direct order to do the experimental face transplant on Mrs. Biehl?" He asks.

Dean looks confused. "One reason?" He asks. Dr. Palmer nods. "Sure."

Dean slams Dr. Palmer against the wall. "You're not Dr. Sexy."

"You're crazy."

"Really?" He asks. "Because I swore part of what makes Dr. Sexy sexy is the fact that he wears cowboy boots. Not tennis shoes."

"Yeah." Sam said, laughing slightly. "You're not a fan."

"It's a guilty pleasure."

"Call security." Dr. Palmer said.

"Yeah, go ahead, pal." Dean said. "See, we know who you are."

Dr. Wang, the blonde doctor, and a security guard rush over. 

And then, they freeze.

Everything does. The patients, the music, the doctors, the nurses- everything, but Klaus, Dean, Sam, and Dr. Palmer, who grins before transforming into an all too familiar face. "You guys are getting better!" Tricker exclaims.

"Get us the hell out of here." Dean demands. 

"Or what?" Trickster asks, grabbing ahold of Dean’s arm and twisting it. "Don't say you have wooden stakes, big guy."

"That was you on the police scanner, right?" Sam asks. "This is a trick."

"Hello? Trickster." Trickster said. "Come on! I heard you two yahoos were in town with your new pal. How could I resist?"

"Where the hell are we?"

"Like it?" Trickster asks. "It's all homemade. My own sets—" He hits a window that has extras behind it. "My own actors...call it my own little idiot box."

"How do we get out?"

"That, my friend, is the sixty-four-dollar question."

"Whatever." Sam said. "We just, we need to talk to you. We need your help."

"Hm, let me guess." Trickster said. "You three muttonheads broke the world, and you want me to sweep up your mess."

"Please." Sam pleads. "Just five minutes. Hear us out."

"Sure." Trickster said. "Tell you what. Survive the next twenty-four hours, we'll talk."

"Survive what?"

"The game!" Trickster states excitedly.

"What game?" Klaus asks. 

"You're in it."

"How do we play?" Dean asks.

"You're playing it."

"What are the rules?" Dean asks.

And then Trickster vanishes. 

The world unpauses.

"Oh, son of a bitch." Dean said.

"Dr. Sexy?" Blonde doctor calls. "Dr. Sexy?" 

Over the intercom comes a voice. "Paging Dr. Sexy. Report to the ER."

"Oh, by the way." Dean said. "Talking with monsters? Hell of a plan."

Sam feels a pang of guilt. "Just, what do we do now?"

"I don’t know... we play?" Klaus asks. 

"Yeah? Well, you can do that, but..." Dean said. "I’m leaving. Bye."

Dr. Piccolo storms over and tries slapping Sam, who quickly ducks. "Lady, what the hell?" He asks.

"You are a brilliant, brilliant—"

"Yeah." Sam said, stopping her. "A coward. You already said that. But I got news for you. I am not a doctor."

Dramatic music begins to play. "Don't say that." Dr. Piccolo said, getting emotional. Seriously, what’s this woman’s problem? "You are the finest cerebrovascular neurosurgeon I have ever met, and I have met plenty. So that girl died on your table. It wasn't your fault. It wasn't anybody's fault. Sometimes people just die."

"I have no idea what you're saying to me."

"You're afraid." Dr. Piccolo said. "You're afraid to operate again. And you're afraid to love."

She storms off, sobbing. And that’s how Sam knows he’s had enough of this game. He can’t handle 24 hours with that lady. "Yeah, we're getting out of here." He said, beginning to walk off with Dean. Klaus stays put.

"I don’t know if that’s such a great idea." Klaus said.

And it isn’t. 

"Hey." A voice from behind them calls. "Doctor."

"Yeah." Dean said, the two brothers turning to face the owner of the face.

A man stands near a hospital room. "My wife needs that face transplant." 

"Okay. You know what, pal?" Dean asks. "None of this is real, and your wife doesn't need jack squat. Okay?"

They begin walking again.

"Hey, Doctor."

Sam barely has a second to process what’s happening before there’s a gunshot.

Dean doesn’t react immediately which makes Sam wonder if it’s even real. And then Dean falls to his knees. "Real—it's real—" He sputters. 

Sam catches him before he falls. "No no no, no no no no no—hey! We need a doctor!" He said. Klaus rushes off to get someone.

Sam really doesn’t wanna watch his brother die on some sappy TV show.

-

Ben looks around with a frown on his face.

Sam, Dean, and Klaus entered the warehouse and they vanished along with the building, leaving a confused and frightened Ben behind.

"Where the fuck did they go?"

-

Growing up, the Hargreeves siblings all knew what they wanted to do with their lives.

Luther wanted to be a superhero, Diego wanted to be a cop, Allison wanted to be a Broadway actress, Five wanted to be a spy, Ben wanted to be a bookstore owner, and Vanya wanted to be a famous violinist.

Klaus, on the other hand, didn’t give a shit about what he did with his life.

He just never expected to be a TV show doctor operating on his surrogate brother with his other surrogate brother’s help.

Klaus stares at Sam as he continuously holds a piece of cloth to the wound and replaces it with another piece. All the other doctors and nurses in the room look at them, confused. "BP is eighty over fifty and dropping." Blonde doctor states.

Sam stares. Klaus stares at Sam staring.

"Doctor." Dr. Wang said, losing out a scalpel, which Sam just stares at.

"What?"

The doctors stare at each other. Klaus can’t find it in himself to move.

"Sam." Dean said. "Do something. Come on."

Sam leans over. "I don't know how to use any of this crap."

"Figure it out."

Sam grins awkwardly at the other doctors and then Klaus. "Klaus, you have medical experience, right?" He asks. "From your upbringing?"

"I do, but I can’t remember any of it right now." Klaus said, grinning back.

"Sam, don’t make the kid do it." He said. "And come on. I'm waiting."

"Okay." Sam said. "Um. I need a penknife, some dental floss, a sewing needle, and a fifth of whiskey."

The doctors look at him like he grew a second head. "You heard the man, go!" Klaus said, chasing the doctors out of the room. "Stat!"

Twenty minutes later, Sam’s gloved hands are bloody as he’s finishing Dean’s stitches, and an almost empty bottle of Kentucky Bourbon rests near dental floss and the unused surgical tools.

"We okay?" Dean asks. "How's it looking?"

"Yep." Sam said. "You'll be fine."

"Oh, thank Christ." Klaus said, breathing a sigh of relief.

Suddenly, the music fades, the color shifts, and the sound of clapping fills their ears.

They’re no longer in the hospital; They’re inside a Japanese game show.

-

As if the day couldn’t get even more chaotic, Sam, Dean, and Klaus are now trapped inside a Japanese game show. 

The host says something in Japanese, which Dean doesn’t understand one bit. How are they supposed to win this if they don’t even know the language? They’re screwed. 

"Klaus, what’s he saying?" Dean asks in a moment of desperation.

"I don’t know, Dean!" Klaus said. "What makes you think I know Japanese?!"

"You spoke German earlier!"

"That’s because I am German, Dean!" Klaus snaps. "I’m fluent in five languages, alright? English, German, French, Latin, and Spanish. If you count ASL, then I’m fluent in six. But Japanese is not one of them!"

"Okay, sheesh." Dean said. "What about Ben? He’s Japanese, right?"

"No, Dean." Klaus said. "He’s Korean. Also, he’s not even here right now."

"Sam Winchester." The host said, reading off of the cards he’d recently pulled out of his pocket. He begins speaking in Japanese, which Dean still doesn’t understand one bit. "弟よりも選んだ鬼の名は何だったのか. Countdown."

"What?"

The screen ticks. They’re being timed.

"Uh, what am I supposed to say?"

"You think I know?" Dean asks.

Sam addresses the host. "Uh, I, I don't, I don't understand Japanese."

"弟よりも選んだ鬼の名は何だったのか."

"Is he screwing with me?" Sam asks. "I, I, I can't speak Japanese."

The scene hits zero. Dean’s anxiety spikes- what does zero mean? Is Sam gonna die? 

"答えは..." The host said- still, Dean understands none of it. "Ruby!"

That he understands.

"I'm sorry, Sam Winchester." The host said, speaking in English now.

"Sorry? Sir? For what?"

The host hides his laughter. 

Sam looks frantic. "Dean?"

And then a pole comes up and hits Sam in the crotch. Hard.

There’s laughter and clapping that follows immediately after. "Nutcracker!" The host exclaims. 

Sam makes a noise of pain. 

"Sam?" Dean asks, concerned for his little brother.

A Japanese woman who holds chips begins chattering about what Dean can only hope is the chips. "これらについて話し合ったことはありますか？栄養価の高いエビチップス？栄養がたくさんあって 味もよくて...食べれば食べるほど 痩せれば痩せるほど、あなたと同じように."

"You okay?"

Sam looks at Dean with pleading eyes.

The Japanese woman continues speaking. "ぜひ購入してみてください。"

The light on the doors starts flashing again. "Oh now what?"

The doors open to reveal someone Dean least expected but wanted most.

"Cas?"

"Is this another trick?" Sam asks.

"It’s got to be." Klaus said.

"It's me." Castiel said. "Uh, what are you doing here?"

"Us?" Dean asks. "What are you doing here?"

"Looking for you." Castiel said. "You've been missing for days."

Wait. Days? "So get us the hell out of here, then!"

"Let's go." Castiel said, raising his arms to touch Dean and Sam on the forehead. "I’ll come back for you Klaus. I only have two arms."

"Ooh, it’s fine." Klaus said. "This is all very amusing."

Cas nods. He touches their foreheads and then-

He vanishes in a staticky blue light.

"Cas?"

The host returns. "No, no, no, no. Mr. Trickster does not like pretty-boy angels." He said. "Klaus Hargreeves." He begins reading off of a card. "子供の頃 お父さんに実験されてたって本当？Countdown."

The screen ticks down from 20.

"Ooh, crap." Klaus said. "I don’t know. I don’t know!"

The clock ticks.

Klaus doesn’t speak.

And he gets hit right in the crotch. 

"Nutcracker!" The host said. The audience claps. 

Meanwhile, Klaus’s eyes are red and watery and he looks ready to pass out from the pain. Dean flinches when he realizes he’s next.

"Dean Winchester." The host said. "あなたの母と父は 弟が生まれ こなくても お兄さんが生まれなかったら?"

"What do I do, what do I do?" Dean asks, frantic. 

"What?"

"I don't wanna get hit in the nuts."

"I don't know, I, I, uh, just, uh—wait."

"What?"

"I played a doctor." Sam said. Which isn’t helpful right now, Samuel.

"What?" Dean asks

"In, uh, in Dr. Sexy I played a doctor." Sam said. "I operated."

Great. He’s bragging. "So?"

"So I played the role the Trickster wanted me to play." Sam said. "Maybe we should just go along with it."

"Go along with what?"

"With the game!" Sam said. "You know, we're on a game show, right? So just answer the question!"

"Sam’s got a point, Dean." Klaus said, seemingly having recovered. "Just go along with what he’s saying."

"In Japanese?"

"Yeah!"

"I don't know Japanese!"

"Try!"

"Dammit!"

Dean panics. He presses the button. The countdown freezes. He guesses.

"答えは... はい "ですか？"

The host repeats what Dean says. Dean prepares for impact.

It never comes. 

"Dean Winchester, Nutcracker champion!"

The crowd cheers and Dean feels like a thousand pounds were just lifted off his shoulder. He’s not getting hit in the balls today!

"How did you do that?" Sam asks.

"I have no idea."

"So that's it." Sam said. "We play our roles, we survive."

"Yeah, but play our roles for how long?"

"Good question."

-

After a commercial for genital herpes and a TV show about superpowered teenage criminals who do community service and murder people, Sam is happy to be in something that’s significantly much lighter and happier than everything else they were forced to play in this week.

Sam opens the door to the motel room which strongly resembles the one they were staying at before all of this shit happened. When he enters, applause ensues immediately after. His eyes fall on Klaus, who sits on the couch, looking bored out of his mind, and then onto Dean, who is building a foot-tall-sandwich. "Hey there, Sam." Dean greets. "What's happening?"

"Oh, nothing." He replies. "Um. Just the end of the world."

Laughter. Klaus forces a laugh and shakes his head. "Oh, Sam."

Sam cringes and acknowledges the sandwich. "You're gonna need a bigger mouth." He said. More laughter. "Hey, uh, have you done your research yet?"

A guilty look falls upon Dean’s face. "Oh, yeah." He said. "All kinds of research. All night."

"Yeah?" Sam asks, unbelieving. "Hm."

The bathroom door opens and a woman wearing a bikini exits. "Oh, Dean..."

"Wait- Dean!" Klaus said, genuinely disgusted. More laughter. "I’ve been here the entire time!"

Dean gives an ashamed grin. "Oops?" He said. "Well, you can leave with Sam. We’ve got some more... research to do." 

Sam and Klaus fold their arms over their chest in unison. "Dean..."

Laughter.

"Son of a bitch!"

Applause and laughter. Sam walks over to the bikini woman and glares at Dean. "Uh, I am really, really, very sorry, but, uh, we've got some work to do." He said, escorting the lady to the door. She turns to him.

"But we did do work!" She said. "In depth."

Laughter. Dean waves goodbye as she leaves and smiles. The younger Winchester shuts the door and shakes his head in both disappointment and frustration. When will this end? It’s getting old.

"How long do we have to keep doing this?" Dean asks, still smiling.

"I don't know." Sam replies. Applause. "Maybe forever?" Laughter. "We might die in here."

Laughter. 

"You guys will." Klaus said. "I’ll be here for eternity."

More laughter.

"How was that funny?" Dean asks. "Vultures."

More laughter. The door opens and reveals Castiel, perfectly fine albeit slightly injured. 

The audience claps. 

"You okay?" Dean asks.

"I don't have much time." Castiel said.

"What happened?" Sam asks.

"I got out."

"From where?" Klaus asks.

"Listen to me." Castiel said. "Something is not right. This thing is much more powerful than it should be."

"What thing—the Trickster?" Dean asks.

"If it is a trickster."

That’s a turn of events. "What do you mean?"

And then Castiel is flung into a wall.

The Trickster enters. "Hello!" He greets. Applause and cheers ensue. Trickster bows. "Thank you. Thank you, ladies." Castiel, whose mouth is now duct-taped, glares at Trickster. "Hi, Castiel!"

He gestures towards Cas, who vanishes in static. 

"Cas!" Klaus calls, looking around. 

"You know him?" Sam asks Trickster, who merely grins.

"Where did you just send him?" Dean demands.

"Relax, he'll live." Trickster said. "...Maybe."

"All right, you know what?" Dean asks. "I am done with the monkey dance, okay? We get it."

"Yeah?" Trickster asks. "Get what, hotshot?

"Playing our roles, right?" Dean asks. "That's your game?

"That's half the game."

"What's the other half?" Sam asks.

"Play your roles out there." Trickster said. 

"What's that supposed to mean?" Dean asks.

"Oh, you know." Trickster said. "Sam starring as Lucifer. Dean starring as Michael. Your celebrity death match. Play your roles."

"So all of this is about getting them to say yes to Michael and Lucifer?" Klaus asks. "Are you serious?"

"Hells yeah." Trickster said. "Let's light this candle!"

"We do that, the world will end." Sam said.

"Yeah? And whose fault is that?" Trickster asks. Sam feels a pang of guilt. "Who popped Lucifer out of the box? Hm? Look, it's started. You started it. It can't be stopped. So let's get it over with!"

Sam glares despite knowing Trickster has a point.

"Heaven or hell, which side you on?" Dean asks.

"I'm not on either side."

"Yeah, right." Dean said. "You're grabbing ankle for Michael or Lucifer. Which one is it?"

"You listen to me, you arrogant dick." Trickster said. "I don't work for either of those S.O.B.s. Believe me."

"Oh, you're somebody's bitch."

Trickster’s grin vanishes and he slams Dean into the wall. "Don't you ever, ever presume to know what I am." He said. "Now listen very closely. Here's what's gonna happen. You're gonna suck it up, accept your responsibilities, and play the roles that destiny has chosen for you."

"And if we don't?"

Trickster’s grin reappears, but unlike last time, this one is malicious. "Then you'll stay here in TV Land." He said. "Forever. Three hundred channels and, uh, nothing's on."

Trickster snaps his fingers and suddenly they’re not in a sitcom anymore.

They’re in CSI Miami.

-

Back at the motel, Ben sits on the couch and flips through a book.

While he’s worried for his brothers, he’s also enjoying the peace and quiet. For once since he’s died, there’s no murderous demons that could potentially harm the people JE cares about, there’s no mention of Lucifer or Michael or the apocalypse.

It’s just quiet.

He pretends he doesn’t miss the chaos and continues reading Twilight.

-

Sam, Dean, and Klaus stand at a crime scene wearing suits with matching blue shirts and sunglasses despite it being night. A dead man lays nearby them with a stomach inflicted stan wound. "Oh, come on." Dean said.

An officer ducks under the crime scene tape. "So, what do you think?" He asks.

"What do I think?" Dean asks. "I think go screw yourself, that's what I think."

"Uh, could you give us a sec, please?" Sam asks. "Thanks."

The officer nods and turns away. 

"You gotta calm down." Sam said.

"Calm down?" Dean asks. "I am wearing sunglasses at night."

Dean takes them off angrily. 

"What’s the big deal?" Klaus asks. "I think we look good."

"You know who thinks that?" Dean asks. "No-talent douchebags."

Sam nods. Klaus frowns. "You don’t have to be mean about it."

"I hate this game." Dean said. "I hate that we're in a procedural cop show and you wanna know why? Because I hate procedural cop shows. There's like three hundred of them on television and they're all the freaking same. It's ooh, plane crashed here—oh shut up."

Sam takes off his sunglasses and stares ahead at the officers. "Hey."

"What?" Klaus and Dean ask in unison.

"Check out sweet tooth over there." He said, pointing at an officer sucking on a lollipop.

"Think that's him?"

Music begins playing. "Just, um, follow my lead." Sam said.

They walk towards the body and put on their sunglasses. "You, uh, you okay?" The officer from earlier asks.

"We’re peachy." Klaus said. "So, what do we have?"

The office kneels down the body. "Well, aside from the ligature marks around his neck, he has what appears to be a roll of quarters jammed down his throat." He informs.

That sounds unpleasant.

Dean removes his sunglasses and pulls out his flashlight to get a better look.

"Well I say, jackpot." Sam said, taking off his own sunglasses.

The officer looks up and snorts in amusement. Sam puts his sunglasses back on and the officer examines the body even further. "Also, there is a stab wound to the lower abdomen." He said. 

Using his lollipop, he gestures to the wound. Dean pokes the body with a stick and puts his sunglasses back on. "Well I say, no guts, no glory." He said.

The officer laughs.

"Get that guy a Tums." Sam said.

"Gutter ball." Klaus said.

The officer continues to laugh. "Good one, guys."

Dean picks up a stick and walks behind the officer, who turns to face him just in time to get stabbed in the heart. He collapses, struggling to get air into his lungs. Klaus worries for a second they fucked up and just killed an innocent man. 

Another officer begins laughing.

And then morphs into the Trickster.

"You've got the wrong guy, idiots."

"Did we?" Dean asks.

Klaus picks up a stake and stabs Trickster in the chest.

Suddenly, they’re back in the warehouse.

-

No longer trapped inside a TV show and at the motel, Dean spits into the sink after brushing his teeth. "I'm worried, guys." He said. "What that SOB did to Cas. You know, where is he?"

"I don’t know." Klaus said, sitting on the couch. "I hope he’s okay."

"Me too." Dean said. "Wait, where’s Sam?"

Klaus and Dean look at each other and around the room.

"Sam?" Dean calls. "Sam!"

Nothing.

Klaus stands from the couch. "Sam?"

"Where are you?" Dean asks. 

The medium and hunter run out to the car, both dialing Sam’s many numbers and waiting for an answer that never comes. "It's Sam." His voicemail greets. "Leave me a message."

Dean unlocks the Impala and hops in the drivers side. Klaus sits in the passengers. "Anything?" Dean asks the medium, who holds his own phone up to his ear. He shakes his head. "Damnit. Hey, Sam. It's me. Where the hell did you go?"

He ends the message and snaps the phone shut.

Suddenly, Sam’s voice comes through the car. "Guys?"

It sounds almost robotic. Dean frowns and looks around to see no Sam in sight. He shares a look with Klaus. "Sam?" He asks. "Where are you?"

"I don't know."

"Uh, Dean?" Klaus asks. Dean looks at him. He points to the red light on the dashboard that flashes with every word Sam says. 

"Oh crap." Sam said. "I don't think we killed the Trickster."

And they didn’t.

The Knight Rider theme plays throughout the Impala as Dean drives. "Okay, stake didn't work." He said. "So, what, this is another trick?"

"I don't know." Sam said. "Maybe the stake didn't work because it's not a trickster?"

"What do you mean?"

"You heard Cas." Sam said. "He said this thing was too powerful to be a trickster."

"You’re right." Klaus said. "And did you see how he looked at Cas?"

"Yeah." Dean said. "Almost like he knew him."

"And how pissed he got when you brought up Michael and Lucifer." Sam said.

"Son of a bitch."

"What?" Klaus and Sam ask in unison.

"I think I know what we're dealing with."

-

Sam has lived through so much that really nothing surprises him anymore.

Except for turning into a car. That was really shocking.

And also uncomfortable. Especially now, having Dean rummage through the trunk which may be considered his... you know what he doesn’t wanna say it. It’s too weird. "Dean?" He asks.

"What?"

"That, uh, feels really uncomfortable."

Dean shuts the trunk

"Ow." Sam said. "You sure this is gonna work?"

"No, but I have no other ideas." Dean said with a sigh. "What about you, Klaus?"

"I’ve got nothing." Klaus said. "I wish I did."

Dean nods.

Then shouts at the sky. "All right, you son of a bitch!" He said. "Uncle! We'll do it!"

"Should I honk?" Sam asks, wanting to feel helpful.

Trickster appears outta nowhere.

"Wow." He said. "Sam. Get a load of the rims on you."

"Eat me." Sam replies.

"Okay, boys." Trickster said. "Ready to go quietly?"

"Whoa whoa whoa, not so fast." Dean said. "Nobody's going anywhere until Sam has opposable thumbs."

"What's the difference?" Trickster said. "Satan's going to ride his ass one way or another."

"Kinky." Klaus said. "Fix him."

Trickster rolls his eyes and snaps his fingers. Sam climbs out of the Impala. He’ll never take being human for granted ever again. "Happy?" Trickster asks.

"Tell me one thing." Dean said. "Why didn't the stake kill you?"

"I am the Trickster."

"Are you?" Klaus asks. "I don’t think you are."

Sam throws a lit lighter next to Trickster’s feet and a ring of fire surrounds him.

"I don’t either." Dean said. "I think... you’ve always been an Angel."

Trickster looks shocked

And then he laughs.

"A what?" He asks. "Somebody slip a mickey in your power shake, kid?"

"I'll tell you what." Dean said. "You just jump out of the holy fire and we'll call it our mistake."

The Trickster laughs some more, then stops.

Blue static and finally...

They’re back at the warehouse.

-

Ben throws the book down after finishing it.

He sighs and looks around the empty motel room with a sad frown on his face. He misses his brothers, especially Klaus. It’s only been two days yet it feels like two years. He’s already finished the entire Twilight series, rented the first movie and snuck into the theater to see the second. He’s completely ran out of things to do.

He’s bored.

And lonely. It was hard going those months without any communication with anyone, but at least Sam was there, even if he didn’t speak. Now no one is nearby. No one is here to talk about their day. The motel just feels so empty. 

Frustrated, the ghost stands and leaves the room.

He walks to the warehouse.

-

Back at the warehouse, the Trickster claps. "Well played, boys." He said, still trapped inside the Angel trap. "Well played. Where'd you get the holy oil?"

"Well, you might say we pulled it out of Sam's ass." Dean said. Dean does have a way with words. A very, very disturbing way, but definitely a way. 

"Where'd I screw up?"

"You didn't." Sam said. "Nobody gets the jump on Cas like you did."

"Mostly it was the way you talked about Armageddon." Dean said.

"Meaning?" Trickster asks.

"Well, call it personal experience, but nobody gets that angry unless they're talking about their own family." Dean said. It’s true. Family can insult each other, but if any stranger dares to insult one of them, then they better prepare to be killed.

"So which one are you?" Sam asks. "Grumpy, Sneezy, or Douchey?"

"I’m going to bet he’s Douchey." Klaus said. "He definitely has the vibe to him."

"Gabriel, okay?" Trickster— er, Gabriel— said. "They call me Gabriel."

"Gabriel?" Sam asks. "The archangel?"

"Guilty."

Klaus laughs. "You’re telling me you’re the one who told Mother Mary she was pregnant?" He asks. "Seriously?"

"It’s complicated." Gabriel said.

"Uh huh." Dean said. "Okay, Gabriel. How does an archangel become a trickster?"

"My own private witness protection." Gabriel said. "I skipped out of heaven, had a face transplant, carved out my own little corner of the world. Till you two screwed it all up."

"What did Daddy say when you ran off and joined the pagans?"

"Daddy doesn't say anything about anything."

Actually, “Daddy” is “Mommy” and “Mommy” definitely said some stuff about the Archangels, Gabriel included. It wasn’t all angry, per se, but it sounded a bit frustrated.

"Then what happened?" Sam asks. "Why'd you ditch?"

"Do you blame him?" Dean asks. "I mean, his brothers are heavyweight douchenozzles."

"Shut your cakehole." Gabriel said. "You don't know anything about my family. I love my father, my brothers. Love them. But watching them turn on each other? Tear at each other's throats? I couldn't bear it! Okay? So I left. And now it's happening all over again."

"Then help us stop it." San said.

"It can't be stopped." Gabriel replies.

"You wanna see the end of the world?" Dean asks.

"I want it to be over!" Gabriel said. He sounds so tired and so done, Klaus feels bad for him. They didn’t just fuck up their own lives, they fucked up the entire world’s and even the Angel’s. People are suffering because of them. "I have to sit back and watch my own brothers kill each other thanks to you two! Heaven, hell, I don't care who wins, I just want it to be over.""

"It doesn't have to be like that." Sam said. "There has to be some way to, to pull the plug."

Gabriel laughs. "You do not know my family." He said. "What you guys call the apocalypse, I used to call Sunday dinner. That's why there's no stopping this, because this isn't about a war. It's about two brothers that loved each other and betrayed each other. You'd think you'd be able to relate."

"What are you talking about?" Sam asks.

"You sorry sons of bitches." Gabriel said. "Why do you think you two are the vessels? Think about it. Michael, the big brother, loyal to an absent father, and Lucifer, the little brother, rebellious of Daddy's plan. You were born to this, boys. It's your destiny! It was always you! As it is in heaven, so it must be on earth. One brother has to kill the other."

"What the hell are you saying?"

"Why do you think I've always taken such an interest in you?" Gabriel asks. "Because from the moment Dad flipped on the lights around here, we knew it was all gonna end with you. Always."

A long pause. Sam and Dean look down and at each other. Klaus can’t help but feel like he’s eavesdropping and doesn’t belong.

"Look." Klaus said. "That doesn’t have to be the case. I mean, what you described was literally my siblings and I, and we’ve never killed each other."

"Yeah, but you did." Trickster said. "You guys killed Ben."

Klaus opens his mouth to argue but closes it.

"That’s just how these stories end." He said. "Ben was destined to die, Sam and Dean are destined to kill each other. It’s in the cards. It’s what has to happen."

"No." Dean said. "That's not gonna happen."

"I'm sorry." Gabriel said. "But it is."

Silence.

Gabriel sighs. "Guys." He said. "I wish this were a TV show. Easy answers, endings wrapped up in a bow...but this is real, and it's gonna end bloody for all of us."

Sam, Dean, and Klaus stare at him, unable to speak.

"That's just how it's gotta be."

-

Dean just stares at the Angel in front of him because he can’t find it in himself to do anything else. 

According to that bastard, Dean has to kill Sam or vice versa, Sam has to kill him. No matter how this plays out one of the Winchester’s are gonna die. And Dean really doesn’t that that to happen. He can’t let that happen. There’s gotta be another way. 

Dean won’t stop until he finds one.

"So. Boys." Gabriel said, breaking the silence. "Now what? We stare at each other for the rest of eternity?"

"Well, first of all, you're gonna bring Cas back from wherever you stashed him." Dean said. 

"Oh am I."

"Yeah." Dean said. "Or we're going to dunk you in some holy oil and deep-fry ourselves an archangel."

Worry flashes across Gabriel’s face but it vanishes as quickly as it came. He snaps his fingers and Castiel appears looking unharmed. Dean breathes a sigh of relief. Thank goodness. He’s been worried about the Angel.

"Cas, you okay?"

"I'm fine." Castiel said. "Hello, Gabriel."

"Hey, bro." Gabriel greets. "How's the search for Daddy going? Let me guess. Awful."

If looks could kill, then Cas would’ve just killed Gabriel.

"Okay, we're out of here." Dean said. "Come on, Sam, Klaus."

Dean turns and begins walking out of the warehouse. Gabriel’s voice comes from behind him. "Uh." He said. "Okay. Guys?"

Sam and Klaus follow after the eldest Winchester. No one acknowledges the Archangel.

"So, so what?" Gabriel asks. "Huh?"

Castiel follows.

"You're just gonna, you're gonna leave me here forever?" 

Dean stops and turns. "No." He said. "We're not, 'cause we don't screw with people the way you do. And for the record? This isn't about some prize fight between your brothers or some destiny that can't be stopped. This is about you being too afraid to stand up to your family."

Dean pulls the fire alarm and the sprinklers go off.

"Don't say I never did anything for you."

Outside, the hunters, ex-superhero, and Angel walk away from the warehouse and towards the Impala. "All that stuff he was spouting in there, you think it was the truth?" Sam asks.

"I think he believes it." Dean says.

"So what do we do?"

"I don't know."

"Well I'll tell you one thing." Dean said. "Right about now I wish I was back in a TV show."

"Yeah, me too."

Sam, Dean, and Klaus hop inside the Impala; Castiel stays back.

"Hey." Klaus said.

"Yeah, kid?" Dean asks.

"Why was I put in TV Land?" Klaus asks. "You guys were being taught a lesson, I wasn’t. So why was I there?"

Dean shrugs. "You walked inside the warehouse?"

"Ben did too." Klaus said. "He didn’t come with us."

"I don’t know, honestly." Dean said. "I don’t even think Gabriel even knows what exactly he was doing. It was all kinda sloppy, don’t you think? This entire thing is."

Klaus nods. "Yeah."

Silence falls upon the car.

"Wait."

"What now, Klaus?" Sam asks.

"Isn’t oil and grease basically the same thing?"

"Yeah?"

"Okay." Klaus said. "Uh, well, doesn’t water only worsen grease fires?"

Dean stops the car. "Shit."

They stay there for awhile, just not moving. Dean sighs and shrugs and starts driving again. "Aren’t we going to check on Gabriel?" Klaus asks.

"If he dies, he dies." Dean said. "Nothing we can do about it."

Klaus nods.

The Impala is silent, the only sound being from the car’s engine as Dean drives back to Bobby’s. He’s tired and he just wants to go home so he can sleep then figure all of this out. Because there’s no way in Hell he’s ever saying yes to Michael, and there’s no way in Hell he’s ever killing his brother. 

He’d rather die than let any of that happen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m sorry if the translation is wrong. I used deepl.com because I’m a lazy American who only speaks English. I do want to learn more languages in the future.
> 
> (German) Schleich dich! = (English) Get lost!
> 
> (Japanese) 弟よりも選んだ鬼の名は何だったのか = (English) What was the name of the demon you chose over your own brother?
> 
> (Japanese) カウントダウン = (English) Countdown.
> 
> (Japanese) これらについて話し合ったことはありますか？栄養価の高いエビチップス？栄養がたくさんあって 味もよくて...食べれば食べるほど 痩せれば痩せるほど、あなたと同じように. = (English) Have we discussed these nutritious Shrimp Chips? Lots of nutrition, tastes great...and the more one eats, the slimmer they get, just like you.
> 
> (Japanese) ぜひ購入してみてください。= (English) Please buy them.
> 
> (Japanese) 子供の頃 お父さんに実験されてたって本当？= (English) Is it true your father used to experiment on you as a child?
> 
> (Japanese) あなたの母と父は 弟が生まれ こなくても お兄さんが生まれなかったら = (English) Would your Mother and Father still be alive... if your brother was never born?
> 
> (Japanese) 答えは... はい "ですか = (English) The answer is... yes?
> 
> Anyway. I hope you enjoy. Again, I’m sorry if the translation is off. Please tell me if it is and I’ll fix it. Thank you for reading!


	7. Not Casper the Friendly Ghost

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean turns to face his brother and is met with a phone inches from his face. With a frown on his face, he reads the messages displayed on the screen.
> 
> ‘Chuck @ 9:47PM: 610 Pipeline Rd, Toledo, Ohio. Life or death situation. Be here ASAP.’
> 
> Or,
> 
> As he walks, he’s stopped by a little ghost boy holding a knife. "Miss Gore wouldn't let us have any fun."
> 
> "That’s rough, buddy." Klaus said. "But it sounds like a you problem, so I’m going to walk past you now. Alright, kiddo?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait! Life has been a bit tough lately. I’ve been trying to focus more on my school and being productive, so I haven’t been writing as much. Also my mental health went 📉 for a bit but I feel better now. How are you guys? Good, I hope.
> 
> Anyway! Enjoy the story.
> 
> TW: Feelings of helplessness & hopelessness, mention of death, swearing, inappropriate humor, stalkerish behavior, mention of alcoholism, mental illness used as an insult, murderous children, ghost children, homophobia, transphobia, slurs, reference to past abusive relationships, mention of brain injury, and let me know if there’s anymore I should add.
> 
> It’s 4 AM where I live and I’m tired. Lol

Hands in the pockets of his hoodie and head bowed, Ben walks in the snow back to the warehouse in hopes it’s returned from wherever the fuck it vanished to and that Sam, Dean, and Klaus will be there.

He’d been walking for about thirty minutes before a familiar car pulls up beside him, and a very familiar face peaks his head out the window and waves frantically. "Ben!"

Ben walks towards the now open car door and climbs inside, only to be hugged by Klaus, who he immediately hugs back. "What happened to you?" He asks, breaking free from the hug.

"TV." Klaus said. When Ben gives him a questioning look, he just waves the ghost off. "I’ll explain later."

Ben nods. He notices the awkward silence from the front seats and frowns. "What’s their problem?" He asks.

"Oh, the Trickster who is actually Archangel Gabriel, said Sam and Dean will eventually kill each other." Klaus said, voice quiet enough so Sam and Dean can’t hear. "So they aren’t talking right now."

"They’re mad at each other for something that hasn’t even happened?"

"No." Klaus said. "They’re trying to process what they were told, but they’re not mad."

"Well, that’s good." Ben said. "I can’t handle another one of their fights."

"Neither can I." Klaus said with a laugh. "How long were we gone?"

"Two days." Ben said. "I think Bobby called a few times, but I don’t know. Castiel did eventually show up and ask where you guys went and mentioned that everyone thinks you’re dead or missing. I told him I didn’t know where you went and he left. Someone should call him and let him know you all are okay."

"No need." Klaus said. "He showed up during the Japanese Game Show and vanished. After that he showed up in the sitcom, but then Gabriel the Archangel made him disappear. He’s okay now. I think he’s trying to find God again."

"Klaus, if you’re gonna have an entire conversation in the backseat, at least make it so we hear both sides." Dean said. Klaus nods and suddenly, his hands, now balled up into fists are glowing blue. "Hey Ben."

"Hi, Dean, Sam." He said. "Where are we going?"

"To Bobby’s." Sam said. "We’re gonna rest for a few days."

"Oh, thank Christ." Klaus said. "I’m exhausted. I could sleep for four hours."

"That’s not a lot of sleep, kid." Dean said with a small, kinda concerned laugh. 

"It is for me."

Dean nods and doesn’t reply.

Ben’s mind wanders to all sorts of things, like where they went, why they vanished, and how they got back. With a sigh, he turns to Klaus. "Hey." He said. "We’ll be in the car for 13 hours. Can you tell me what happened?"

"Oh, sure." Klaus said. "Sit back, relax and enjoy the ride. ‘Cause it’s gonna get bumpy."

"Okay."

"Okay." Klaus said. "So, we entered the warehouse..."

-

Dean pulls the Impala up to Bobby’s, excitement bubbling in his chest at the idea of finally being off the road and able to get some much needed rest. He unbuckles his seatbelt and throws open the door. As he places his feet on the ground beneath him, he hears a nervous Sam from behind him. "Dean?"

"What?" He asks, not hiding the annoyance in his voice. He wants to sleep and find a way out of the whole Lucifer/Michael situation, then people can talk to him. As for right now? He doesn’t even want to be looked at. "What’s wrong?"

"Chuck." Sam said.

Dean turns to face his brother and is met with a phone inches from his face. With a frown on his face, he reads the messages displayed on the screen.

‘Chuck @ 9:47PM: 610 Pipeline Rd, Toledo, Ohio. Life or death situation. Be here ASAP.’

He just stares at it for a minute, unbelieving.

And then he puts his feet back in the Impala and shuts the door. "Alright." He said, starting the engine. "Who’s up for another night on the road?"

Klaus and Sam cheered in faux excitement.

Dean pulls away from Bobby’s house, beginning their adventure back to Ohio.

-

Klaus only half listens as Ben rambles on and on about the Twilight books, his mind somewhere else. The guilt inside of him eats him away. There are so many things he’s hiding from his friends, his family, and sitting in the car with no distractions is just reminding him of everything.

"Klaus?" Ben asks, bringing him out of his thoughts. "Are you okay?"

"What?" Klaus asks. "Oh, yeah. I’m fine."

"You sure, Klaus?" Sam asks. "You’ve been awfully silent."

"I’m okay." Klaus reassures, looking down at his hands. "I’m just a bit nervous. Chuck doesn’t seem to like me very much and so he probably doesn’t want me around. I think maybe I should’ve stayed back."

It’s not a lie, not really. Chuck doesn’t like him and Klaus is sorta afraid to be around him but that’s not why he’s not talking and wishing he would’ve stayed back. It’s something totally different- it’s having the key to saving the world in his hands but being unable to use it. It’s being in the car with the very man he has to kill. It’s knowing every single one of God’s secrets but also knowing if he accidentally shares them, he’ll be putting his family and friends in danger.

"Klaus?"

Klaus is thrown back into reality. "Yeah?"

"You spaced out." Ben said, eyebrows drawn in concern. "Are you really sure you’re okay?"

"I’m fine!" Klaus said. "Can we drop this already?"

"Yeah, okay." Ben said. "I’m just worried. You haven’t been yourself lately."

"What can I say?" Klaus asks. "The impending apocalypse has changed me. No offense, Sammy."

"Uh, none taken?" Sam replies, sounding unsure. "Dean, are we almost there?"

"Pretty much." Dean said. "Just four more hours and we’ll be almost halfway there."

"You could’ve said no."

"What can I say, Sammy." Dean said. "I like messing with you."

-

Sam stares out the window and watches the world pass by.

They’re two hours from Chuck’s location and they have no idea if he’s okay or even alive, for that matter. What they do know is he needed them there ASAP, and that was well over eleven hours ago, so if he was in any danger whatsoever he’s certainly dead by now.

With that thought in mind, he grabs his phone and sends a text to Chuck. 

‘Sam Winchester @ 8:19 AM: We’re 2 hours away. Are you alright?’

He waits for a response that never comes.

-

Tires screeching, Dean pulls the Impala into The Pineview Hotel parking lot, nearly tipping it over in the process. When the car comes to an abrupt stop everyone hops out; Dean grabs the weapons from the trunk, pausing when he notices dozens of Impala almost identical to Baby, causing Sam to sigh in frustration. "Hey." He said. "Come on."

Dean recovers from the sight and rejoins his brothers as they approach a familiar man who paces near the entrance, very much alive and seemingly unharmed. Ben sighs in relief. Thank God Chuck isn’t dead.

"Chuck!" Sam said. "There you are!"

Chuck startles upon noticing them. "Guys?"

"What's going on?" Dean asks.

"Ah, nothing." He said, causing Ben to frown. Why did he contact them? Was it by accident? Was it a test to see if they’d actually show up? "You know, I'm just kinda hanging. What are you guys doing here?"

"Well, you sort of told us to come." Klaus said.

Chuck looks at Klaus, anger in his blue eyes. "I can assure you, I did not."

That makes Ben frown ever more. 

"Yeah you did, you texted me." Sam said, holding up his phone. "This address, life or death situation. Any of this ringing a bell?"

"I didn't send you a text." Chuck insists. Is this gaslighting? Is this what gaslighting feels like? Because Chuck did, in fact, send a text.

"We drove all night!" Dean said.

"I'm sorry, I don't understand what could...oh no." Chuck trails off.

"What?"

And then an all too familiar face appears at the top of the stairs. "SAM! You made it!!!"

Sam instantly looks uncomfortable. "Oh, ah, Becky, right?"

She rushes down the stairs and straight to Sam. "Oh, you remembered." She said. Her voice lowers, as if she’s trying to be seductive. "You been thinking about me."

"I..."

"It's ok, I can't get you out of my head either. "

"Hahaha, I’m sure he can’t get you out of his head either." Klaus said, scratching uncomfortably at his head. "Just not in the way you think."

"Becky, did you take my phone?" Chuck asks.

"I just borrowed it from your pants." Becky said and wow, is she creepy.

"Becky..."

"What?" Becky asks. "They're going to want to see it!"

"Oh gosh what is she referring to." Ben said, eyes wide. Klaus nudges him, but to everyone else, he’s just nudging the air. 

"Don’t be a perv, Benny."

"See what?" Sam and Dean said in unison. 

"Oh my gosh." Becky practically squeals. "I love it when they talk at the same time!!!"

A man holding a clipboard appears at the top of the stairs. "Hey Chuck?" He said. "Come on pal, it's showtime."

The man disappears behind the door once more, Becky following immediately after. Chuck hesitates and turns to face them. "Guys." He said. "I'm sorry. For everything."

The hunters and ex-superheroes share a worried look before following Chuck inside.

Nothing could’ve prepared them for what they’re seeing right now.

-

The hotel is much nicer than the ones they normally crash in during their hunts, but Dean is still unsure as to why they’re even here. Chuck is fine, albeit a bit nervous, and Becky- the one who texted them to go to the hotel in the first place- won’t stop smiling.

Klaus freezes upon entering. "Ah crap."

"What?" Sam asks. 

"This place is haunted as shiiit." Klaus whines. "Can I go to the car?"

"No." Dean said. "Not until we know what’s going on."

Klaus huffs but doesn’t resist. 

A man passes holding a beer passes Dean, and call him an alcoholic all you want, but he really wants to know where he got it. This is gonna be a long day. He can already tell.

"Hahaha." The man. "Hey Dean, looking good."

"Who the hell are you?" Dean demands.

The man turns around, wearing clothes nearly identical to Dean’s. He’s even wearing necklace that resembles the one Sammy made for him when he was little. Speaking of that, he needs to get it back from Castiel. Wherever the dumbass is. "I'm Dean too." He replies and what- Dean is Dean, this man is... not Dean. "Duh."

Dean turns to face Sam and Klaus, extremely confused. Something over Sam’s shoulder catches his eye, startling him.

It’s the Scarecrow God.

Sam notices it and jumps too; Klaus just silently judges the monster.

"Uh-oh. It's Sam and Dean. I'm in trouble now." Scarecrow said, soda in hand. "Have fun you two. Aaaah!"

Sam gives his disapproving bitchface at Scarecrow as it walks away. Someone giggles from behind them. "Oh gosh." Klaus said. "Please tell don’t tell me that’s the giggling of a ghost. Please tell me you hear it too."

"What?" Dean asks, confused by what Klaus said but also astounded by everything that’s going on around him. Just like scarecrow guy, everyone in the room is in costume of monsters they’ve fought before; There’s a few people dressed as Bloody Mary, a couple dressed as Bobby Singer, and a lot of people dressed as clowns. Tables are everywhere with merchandise of the Impala and Chuck’s books displayed on them. 

"Becky." Sam said. "What is this?"

"It's awesome!!!" Becky squeals. "A supernatural convention, the first ever."

It’s safe to say this is the most confused Dean has ever been.

-

Becky all but drags them to the auditorium, where a nervous Chuck stands on a stage in front of a large group of people, all in costume. "Okay." Chuck said. "Okay good, this isn't nearly as awkward as I..." he clears his throat. "Dry mouth."

Chuck chugs down a bottle of what Klaus can only hope is water. He can’t deal with another drunk that hates his guts. He just can’t.

"Okay." Chuck said. "Uh...ahem. So I guess...questions?"

Everyone but Klaus, Dean, Sam, and Ben raises their hands, which terrifies Chuck even further. If Klaus didn’t dislike Chuck as much as Chuck disliked him, he’d feel bad. 

"Uh....you?"

A skinny man jumps up. "Hey, Mr Edlund." He said. "Uh...big fan. I was just wondering, where'd you come up with Sam and Dean in the first place?"

Chuck’s eyes fall on Sam and Dean. "Oh, ah, I...it just came to me."

Klaus stifles a laugh. 

More hands shoot up and Chuck doesn’t take as long to choose one as he did last time. "Okay." He said. "Yeah. The hook man."

The ‘Hook Man’ stands. "Ah yeah." He said in a thick German accent. "Why in every fight scene, Sam and Dean are having their gun knocked away by the bad guy? Why don't they keep it on some kind of bungee?"

Klaus looks at Sam and Dean to see their reaction; Sam looks interested, Dean looks pissed. "Hey." Klaus said. "He has a point."

"I...yeah, I really don't know." Chuck answers, uncomfortable.

"Ja, follow up." Hook man said. "Why can't Sam and Dean be telling that Ruby is evil? I mean she is clearly manipulating Sam into some kind of moral lapse. It's obvious, nein?"

Now Dean looks interest, Sam looks pissed. "Again." Klaus said. "He has a point."

Becky charges toward the man. "HEY!" She shouts. "If you don't like the books don't read em Fritz."

"Okay, okay, just..okay, it's okay." Chuck said. "So, next question..." 

Klaus raises his hand with everyone else, which earns him a glare from Sam and Dean. Chuck looks pained when he notices him. 

"Uh, you." Chuck said. "The tall, schizophrenic curly haired kid."

Klaus hides his hurt and steps forward to answer the question. "Few things." Klaus said. "I’m not schizophrenic, but even if I was, you still shouldn’t use that as an insult and you especially shouldn’t announce someone else’s mental illnesses to a room full of people. It’s rude."

"Okay, next."

"I’m not done." Klaus said. "Second- I heard you’ll be adding a new character into the next book? A handsome young man with badass powers?"

"I didn’t hear that." Chuck said.

"Wait." A fan said, standing. "Next book? Is there more?"

"I-"

"There’s gotta be!" Another fan said. "The last book ended with Dean going to Hell. We need to know what happened after and how Sammy will get him out!"

"Uh..." Chuck said. "I didn’t intend for this to be how you found out... I actually intended to announce this at the end of this panel. But..."

Everyone eagerly waits an answer.

"Yes." Chuck said and gasps are heard throughout the room. "There will be more, thanks to an incredibly wealthy Scandinavian investor. We hope to publish them soon."

Chaos ensues.

Klaus looks at Dean and Sam, who send death glares in Chuck’s direction.

This will be a very long day.

-

This has been a very long day.

After the panel ended, they went to confront Chuck only to find Becky accompanying him, who stared at him the entire time with what Sam swears was hearts in her eyes. 

Now, they’re watching a bunch of dumbasses flash their pretend FBI badges at the convention manager as he tells a ghost story. "Well yes Agents Lennon and McCartney, as manager of this fine establishment I can assure you that it is indeed haunted." He said. "This building was once an orphanage, run by mean old Leticia Gore. 100 years ago this very night, Miss Gore went insane, and butchered four little boys before killing herself. Now folks say that the souls of those poor little boys are trapped here and the evil spirit of Miss Gore punishes them to this very day."

"Well that's just about all the community theatre I can take." Dean said.

"Yeah, this cannot get any weirder." Sam agrees.

"I don’t know." Klaus said, staring at the group of fake FBI agents. "Maybe this isn’t all a game."

"What do you mean?" Dean asks.

"I mean, what if that lady really did murder those children?" Klaus asks. "It’d explain the ghosts. Maybe we should just keep our eyes out just in case they end up being vengeful spirits. It couldn’t hurt."

"Klaus, don’t be ridiculous." Dean said. "Every hotel has ghosts, okay? The ghosts you’re seeing are probably nowhere connected to the bullshit that dick is saying over there."

‘Dean’ from earlier walks by with skinny man. "Dad said...he said I may have to kill you." He practically growls. Skinny guy, who is apparently supposed to be Sam, steps back in betrayal and confusion.

"Kill me?" He asks. "What the hell does that mean?"

"I don't know."

"Oh..."

They walk off.

"I need a drink." Sam, Dean, and Klaus say in unison. 

Sam and Dean look at Klaus.

"Klaus, no!"

-

Ben tunes Dean out as he flirts with the ghost actress, watching as a bunch of Sam and Dean wannabes go around pretending to be hunters. His eyes fall on Klaus, who looks incredibly nervous. He walks closer to his brother.

"What’s wrong?"

"Ghosts." Klaus said. "There’s so many of them and I get the feeling they aren’t Casper the friendly ghost. I mean, look at them."

A little boy ghost wanders around the bar, talking to random stranger even if they can’t see him. It looks like someone took a knife to his scalp. "My Mommy loves me." The boy said. "She won’t hurt me, she protects me. Please don’t hurt my Mommy."

"I’ll admit that’s creepy." Ben said. "But he’s just talking about his Mommy. I don’t see how he’s a threat. If anything, he’s just scared."

"You’re right." Klaus said. "I just can’t wait to get out of here."

Someone shouts from somewhere in the room, grabbing the attention of Klaus and Ben. The two brothers rush after the noise, only to find one of the excited fans from the panel earlier. He looks frightened and beaten up. "For the last time I'm not making this up, okay?" He said. "She's upstairs, a real live dead ghost."

"What’s going on?" Klaus asks.

"A ghost!" The man said. "She-she beat the shit out of me!"

Sam and Dean walk over. 

"I'm sure it was just one of the ghost actors." The man’s friend assures.

"Oh, so an actor kicked my ass, then vanished into thin air?" The man asks, upset his friend isn’t taking this seriously. "Makes sense. Sure. Except it doesn’t make any sense, cause I fucking saw a ghost!" 

"You saw a ghost?" Sam asks. "Tell us more."

"This isn't part of the game jerk." The man said to Sam before turning to his friend. "Look, I'm getting out of here and you should do the same."

The man runs off; His friend follows after him. "Alex, wait." He said. "Hey, come back!"

"What do you guys think?" Sam asks,

"What do you mean what do I think?" Klaus asks. "I told you this place was haunted, but you shrugged me off. Now someone is hurt and that’s on you guys."

"You’re right, Klaus." Sam said. "We should’ve listened."

"Yeah, but we can’t go back and stop the ghost from hurting that man." Dean said. "We can, however, stop her from hurting another innocent person."

Ben, Sam, and Klaus listen to Dean.

"Let’s go burn some bones."

-

After realizing that yes, the hotel is indeed haunted, Sam, Dean, Klaus, and probably Ben rushed to the hotel manager to ask about the history of the building. According to the man, it was originally an orphanage that shut down after the owner, Miss Gore, killed the children and then herself in the attic. Exactly 100 years have passed and it appears they’ve all decided to seek out vengeance on the anniversary of their deaths, which just so happens to be the same night as the Supernatural convention. Chuck is probably having a good laugh about that right now!

As of right now they’re rummaging through the attic, looking for any clue as to where in the hell the bones are buried. "The EMF's going nuts." Sam stated, device in u  
"Great." Dean said. "We got a real ghost, and we got a bunch of dudes pretending to be us poking at it."

"There’s no way everyone is getting out of here alive." Klaus said.

"Yeah, well, serves them right."

"Dean..." Sam said.

"I'm just saying." Dean replies. "No one should mess around with this sorta stuff. Not unless you’re trained, which these dumbasses aren’t."

"Yeah, but no one deserves to die."

"I’m not saying they do." Dean replies. "I’m just saying, if they do die, then that’s on them. They should’ve been smarter."

Sam is silent.

"Hey, Klaus." Dean said. "See anything?"

"I can definitely sense the spirits near, but no." Klaus replies. "I think the attic is- shit!"

Sam and Dean turn around, seeing a creepy little boy ghost.

"My Mommy loves me."

"That’s nice." Klaus said, voice gentle. "Where is your Mommy?"

"I won’t tell you." The little boy says. "You’ll make her go away."

"No I won’t." Klaus assures. "I just want you and those little boys to be safe, that’s all."

"You don’t know my Mommy." The little boy replies. "You don’t know how much she loves me. She loves me this much!"

He moves his hands away from his head, revealing it’s been partially scalped. 

And as quick as he appeared, he disappears.

The hunters and medium look at each other.

"What the fuck was that?!"

-

Back at the bar, Klaus watches Sam pace around the room as he talks on the phone. At a table sits an uncomfortable looking Chuck and a flirtatious Becky, neither of them aware of the ghost attack happening. Dean and Ben stand next to Klaus, also watching Sam,

"Alright." Sam said, walking back over. "So that was a guy with the County Historical Society."

"And...?" Dean asks.

"Not only did Leticia Gore butcher four boys, but one of them was her own son."

Klaus’s heart sinks. What mother could kill her own child? "Her son." 

"Yeah." Sam replies. "According to the police at the time, she scalped the kid."

"Oh that's it, I'm gunna deep fry this bitch extra crispy." Dean said, obviously pissed. "Dude say where she was buried?"

"He doesn't know."

"Of course." Klaus said. "It’d be too easy if he did."

A conversation from another table catches their attention. "Check it out." The skinny man from the panel said, staring down at a map. "There's the orphanage, here's the carriage house, and right there... cemetery."

"You think that's where Leticia's planted?" ‘Dean’ from earlier said.

"It's worth a shot."

Sam grabs the map.

"Hey, hey!" Skinny guy shouts.

Fake Dean grabs it. "Hey, do you mind?"

"It's real." Sam said to Klaus and Dean. "A century old, at least, and he's right, there is a cemetery on the grounds.'

"Where'd you get that?" Dean asks ‘Dean’.

"It's called a game pal." ‘Dean’ replies. "It ain't called charity."

Dean sighs. "Yeah right." He said. "Gimme the map, Chuckles."

"Yeah well you're the Chuckles, Chuckles." ‘Dean’ replies. "Besides, Dean don't listen to nobody." 

‘Dean’ pulls back his jacket to reveal a colorful plastic gun. "Dean!" Skinny guy- who Klaus assumes is supposed to be Sam- exclaims. "Cool it."

Dean pulls out a real gun.

"Dean!" Sam said. "Cool it."

"What?!" Dean asks. "They're freakin' annoying."

"Look, guys." Sam said. "We all wanna find the bones right? We just thought...it would go faster if we all worked together."

‘Sam’ and ‘Dean’ look at each other. "Ahem." ‘Sam’ said. "We..ah...we get the sizzler gift card."

Dean rolls his eyes. "Fine."

"And we get to be Sam and Dean." ‘Dean’ said.

The hunters and ex-superheroes share glances.

"Fine."

"This is going to be very, very confusing." Klaus said with a pained smile.

Will this night ever end?

Answer: No.

Because, apparently finding and burning the bones of a murderous orphanage caretaker from the early 1900s while two men pretend to be demon hunters who they think are fictional characters from a book series written by a prophet of the Lord isn’t easy. Who knew?

Klaus hugs himself close as he trudges through the cemetery, trying to block out all the ghosts and memories that scream at him with every turn he takes. Most of his childhood was spent in one of these places, surrounded by death and grief. He vowed never to step foot back in a cemetery, not even when he died. But then he chose the life a of a hunter, and well, here we are.

Sam and Dean shine their flashlights on graves while the ‘Sam’ and ‘Dean’ imposters shine their torches on bushes. When Dean comes to a stop, so does everyone else. "I found the four boys." He said.

"And here's Leticia Gore." Sam said. Klaus looks in his direction, and as a matter of fact, there it is: “Leticia Gore. 1879 - 1909”. 

"Ah...what are you guys doing?" Dean asks, silently judging ‘Sam’ and ‘Dean’.

"We're looking for bones genius." ‘Dean’ said. "They gotta be around here somewhere."

"Okay..." Dean replies. "Generally, bones are in the ground."

Sam drops a bag, startling ‘Dean’ and ‘Sam’. "Yeah, I know that. I just..." ‘Dean’ said. When Sam takes the shovels out of the bag, ‘Dean’’s eyes goes comically wide. "Wait, hold on. Are you guys serious?"

"Deadly."

"We're not really digging up graves you guys, we're just playing a game." ‘Sam’ said.

Klaus laughs. "If only you knew."

"Hey, don’t you wanna win the game?" Dean asks, changing the subject before ‘Dean’ and ‘Sam’ can ask anymore questions. 

‘Sam’ and ‘Dean’ swallow nervously. "Of course."

"Great." Dean said. "Sammy, hand me a shovel."

-

The wind picks up in the cemetery as Dean lifts the casket lid open, revealing the bones of what used to be Leticia Gore. The stench is familiar to Sam, but not to ‘Dean’, who practically pukes right on the spot. "That's not a plastic skeleton." He said. "That's a... that's a skeleton skeleton."

"You just dug up a real grave." ‘Sam’ said.

"No shit Sherlock." Klaus quips, speaking for only the second time since arriving at the cemetery. Immediately after, he hugs himself tighter. "Can we hurry? My ghosty sense is tingling."

"You guys are nuts." ‘Dean’ said.

"I thought you guys wanted to be hunters." Sam said.

"Hunters aren't real man." ‘Dean’ said. "This isn't real."

‘Dean’ and ‘Sam’ turn to leave. "My gosh." ‘Sam’ said. "You guys have seriously lost your grip on this..." When ‘Sam’ turns back to Sam, his eyes grow wide and he trails off. This makes Sam’s anxiety skyrocket.

"What?"

A bone-chilling voice fills his ears. "Naughty, naughty, naughty!"

Sam slowly turns his head...

And then gets slapped across the cemetery by Leticia Gore.

While Sam recovers, ‘Sam’ and ‘Dean’ sprint away, only for ‘Sam’ to fall down and for ‘Dean’ to rush over to help his boyfriend. Dean rummages in his duffel bag and grabs the salt and burning materials. Klaus rushes over to Sam and helps him up.

Dean burns the bones of Leticia Gore and she vanishes. "Real enough for you?"

‘Dean’ and ‘Sam’ just stare.

-

After burning the bones the hunters, medium, and ghost retire to the bar, where a soon-to-be very drunk ‘Sam’ and ‘Dean’ sit, drinking. Neither men notice them, however. Either too tipsy or traumatized to notice their presences. "That was...really..." ‘Sam’ said, but doesn’t finish his sentence. Dean does that for him.

"Awful. Right?" He said. "Exactly. Round's on us guys."

Dean slaps ‘Sam’ on the shoulder then puts a note down.

"Hope you guys aren’t too haunted." Klaus said.

"See you around." Sam replies.

They turn to leave, but of course ‘Dean’ has to stop them. "Hey." He said. Sam, Dean, Klaus, and Ben turn to face them. "How'd you know how to do all that."

"We..uh...We read the books." Sam lies.

Sam, Ben, and Klaus nod in agreement.

They wander over to Chuck, who’s currently talking to the convention manager. "Hey Chuck." Dean said. "Good luck with the Supernatural books, and screw you very much."

As they move toward the exit, Klaus spares one last look at Chuck and flips him off, a grin on his face the entire time. Ben smiles at his brother as fond memories of Klaus flipping off their Dad fills his mind. That was the highlight of his childhood.

"Fans of yours?" The con manager asks from behind them.

"Hmmm." Chuck said. "I'd say no."

Ben can’t wipe the smile off of his face.

They’re finally leaving this damned hotel.

-

They’re never leaving this damned hotel.

After bidding goodbye to everyone, the hunters and ex-superheroes practically sprinted towards the exit, only to find it wouldn’t open. They tried the windows, nothing. They tried other doors, again nothing. No matter how hard they tried to leave, they couldn’t. Which brings us to now.

Dean attempts to pull a window open, but fails miserably. Sam approaches after searching for a way out. Dean hopes he found one. "Hey." He greets. "Anything?"

"Every exit's locked." Sam said. "Almost like..."

"Something's keeping us in?" Dean said. "Hey, Klaus. Can you shatter the window?"

"I tried already." Klaus said. "It wouldn’t work."

Dean bangs his fist against the window in frustration, then immediately regrets it. "Shit."

"Yeah." Sam said. "This is bad."

"Gee ya think Sammy?"

A scream pierces through the hotel.

The hunters and ex-superhero rush to see where it came from. They find the Leticia Gore actress running out of the library. Dean catches her. "Don't go in there!" She exclaims, her voice panicked.

"Get downstairs okay?" Dean orders. "Go go!"

The men enter the library.

The same creepy little boy from earlier crouches down, holding his scalped head. "Why'd you do that?" He asks. "Why did you send my mommy away?"

"Ah, maybe because of the high and tight she gave you, huh?" Dean asks, which earns a glare from Klaus. "How ‘bout some thanks."

"Ahem." Sam said, giving him a disapproving look.

"Well, I'm just saying a little gratitude might be nice once in a while."

"My mommy didn't do this to me." The boy said.

"What?" Sam asks.

"If your mommy didn’t hurt you, then who did?" Klaus asks.

The boy vanishes.

"Well." Dean said. "That was helpful."

"Mhm."

Another scream echoes throughout the hotel. "GOTT IM HIMMEL!" 

"Did you hear that?" Dean asks Klaus and Sam, who nod.

They follow the noise and come across something horrifying.

“Hook Man” from the panel lying in a puddle of his own blood, unfocused and lifeless eyes open and staring ahead. His scalp has been sliced off, too.

"I have a feeling we didn’t get the right ghost."

"Gee Klaus, you think?"

-

They burnt Leticia Gore’s bones and now someone’s dead.

Which means she wasn’t the killer but someone else was, which means they’ve got to stay in this damned hotel until they find out who that someone else is. Great. This is just great. Definitely how Klaus wanted to spend his weekend. Can you read the sarcasm?!

After discovering the body of “Hook Man”, the hunters, medium, and ghost rushed around and gathered up the hotel staff. Which brings us to now, as Dean shoves them all inside the auditorium, much to their annoyance. "Buddy, I got work to do." The hotel manager said.

"You're gunna want to see this, trust me." Dean said. "It's gunna be a hell of a show."

"Yeah!" Klaus said. "I even heard there may be stripping."

The Leticia Gore actress enters last and Sam shuts the door.

"Ah, what does the future hold for Sam and Dean?" Chuck asks from the stage. "Well, how do you feel about angels? Yeah, because let me tell you, they're not nearly as lame as you think."

"Okay." Dean said. "New theory. The legends about Leticia are ass-backwards obviously."

"Yeah." Sam said. "So all right, let's say those three orphans were playing cowboys and Indians."

"LARPing as cowboys and Indians." Dean corrects, earning an annoyed glare from Sam.

"Whatever." Sam replies. "And let's say they scalped Leticia's son and killed him."

"Mom catches 'em in the act, flips out, slices them and dices herself."

"It’d make sense." Klaus said. "The poor boy kept saying “Mommy didn’t hurt me she protects me” and there’s no reason for him to lie, especially not with him being dead. I feel bad for the kid. He lost his Mom and now he’s trapped for eternity with the very boys that killed him."

"And now we’ve got to deal with those three murderous boys." Sam said.

"I’ve got a feeling Leticia Gore was the one keeping them under control." Dean said.

"Shit." Klaus replies. "We really fucked up."

"Yep, smooth move on our part."

"Yeah, well we gotta get back to the cemetery, torch the kids' bones." Dean said.

"How?' Sam asks. "We're trapped, we don't even have our guns! The ghosts are running this joint and they're only scared of one thing."

Klaus watches Dean’s eyes light up like a Christmas tree. "Exactly."

"Wait, I know that look." Ben said, fear evident in his voice. "He’s got an idea, Klaus. He’s got an idea! It’s never a good idea when Dean has one of those!"

"I’m sure it’s nothing, Ben." Klaus said, even if he didn’t believe it. Dean’s ideas almost always get them killed. Same with Sam’s. The Winchester brothers are pretty, but they certainly aren’t smart. "Dean, what’s your idea?"

Dean simply smirks.

Two minutes later they’re standing in front of the Leticia Gore actress, trying to get her to follow through with Dean’s plan. "You want me to do what?" 

"You're an actress." Dean said. "We just want you to act."

"I work at Hooters, in Toledo." She replies. "No, you can forget it."

"You'll be safe, we promise." Dean assures. "This is really important."

"We wanna help." A familiar voice from behind said. Klaus turns around and sees no one other but ‘Sam’ and ‘Dean’. Great. Just when Klaus thought they were rid of them, here they are.

"Just give her the puppy dog thing okay?" Dean said to Sam before turning to face ‘Sam’ and ‘Dean’. "Guys, no."

"Why not?"

"’Cause this isn't make-believe."

"Look, we know." ‘Dean’ replies. "We're not nuts. We're freakin' terrified."

"Yeah but if all these people are seriously in trouble, we gotta do something." ‘Sam’ said. Huh. Maybe they are like Sam and Dean. They make other peoples business their business and try to play hero.

"Why?" Dean asks.

"Because." ‘Dean’ replies. "That's what Sam and Dean would do."

"Uh huh, okay." Dean said, pissed. "No. Enough with the Sam and Dean shit, alright? You aren’t Sam and Dean. We are. We know what we’re doing, you do not. Go play pretend somewhere else. This is serious."

"And we know that." ‘Sam’ said. "We really want to help save the day, please."

Dean sighs. "Alright, fine."

"Really?"

"Yeah, but if you die that’s on you." Dean replies.

"And you better not start haunting me." Klaus said. When ‘Sam’ and ‘Dean’ give him questioning looks, he rolls his eyes. "Never mind."

"What do we do now?" ‘Sam’ asks.

"Right now?" Dean asks. "Right now we go hunt some ghosts ass."

-

It only took a lot of convincing and a bit of his puppy dog eyes, but eventually, the Leticia Gore actress agrees to pretend to be a ghost for a little while so someone can go to the cemetery and burn the bones of a few orphans.

In order for that plan to work, they actually need to be able to go to the cemetery. But they can’t. ‘Cause the stupid hotel is on a paranormal lockdown. No one can get in or out, not unless they’re a ghost. And the only ghost around is Ben but Ben can’t interact with objects to burn bodies. So they’re screwed.

But they won’t give up.

The hunter, super-fans, and medium hurl their bodies against the door in hopes it’ll magically fly open. It doesn’t, but it does give them nasty bruises on their arms. 

"Here, I have an idea." Klaus said. "Step back."

Sam, ‘Dean’, and ‘Sam’ do as they’re told and move away from the door.

Klaus rubs his hands together before balling them up into fists. A pale blue glow envelops them and a familiar ghost appears next to Klaus. "Hello." Ben said with a wave. 

"Hi." Sam replies.

"Ah, haha ha..." ‘Dean’ laughs. "What the fuck?"

"This is Ben." Klaus informs. "He’s my dead brother."

"Wait, he’s a ghost?" ‘Sam’ asks. "We-we need to burn his bones!"

"Good luck." Ben said. "I was cremated. The only way to get rid of me is to burn everything I’m attached to, and unfortunately, I’m attached to my dumbass brother, Klaus." 

"And I’m immortal." Klaus said. "What did you mean by unfortunately?"

"Can we get back on track?" Sam asks. "Let’s try the door again."

Two minutes pass and the door finally opens enough for someone to slip out of it. ‘Sam’ and ‘Dean’ go first, but unfortunately, it closes before anyone else can get out. "Damnit." Sam curses. "Ben, follow them out. Make sure they’re safe."

"Aye, aye, captain!" Ben said, saluting. He vanishes.

Klaus sighs and looks at Sam. "Now what?"

"Uhh, I don’t know." Sam said. "Check on Chuck."

"What? No." Klaus said. "Chuck hates me and you know what? The feelings mutual. I’m not checking on him."

"Klaus."

"Fine." Klaus said. "What are you going to do?"

"I’m gonna check on Dean." Sam said.

"Can we switch?" Klaus asks. When Sam glares at him, Klaus is quick to stop joking around. "Yeah, yeah. I know. I’m going."

Klaus runs off.

Sam rushes upstairs just in time to see Dean hit a wall.

Three little boys stand with evil smirks on their faces, each one holding a knife.

All Sam can think is, shit.

-

Ben watches nervously as ‘Sam’ and ‘Dean’ dig the boys’ graves. 

"Do you think that ghost kid is still here?" ‘Sam’ asks. Ben smirks, knowing he’s being talked about. And the answer is: yes. He is indeed still here. "I feel like I’m being watched."

"Well, I don’t see him, do you?" ‘Dean’ replies. "Enough talking. We have to hurry."

‘Sam’ nods and quiets down.

"Ugh, oh my gosh." ‘Sam’ said after a minute of silence. "Supernatural makes digging graves seem so easy. It's not though. I'm gonna throw up."

"No you're not."

Ben really hopes ‘Dean’ is right.

-

"Very naughty, you hear me?" Leticia Gore actress lectures the three young ghost boys, who stand with their knives hidden, frightened. Dean hates to admit this is going better than he thought it would. By now, he definitely expected someone to be dead or at least close to it.

But nope. This is going well.

Until the Leticia Gore actress’s phone starts ringing.

Dean softly hits his head against the wall and grabs ahold of the iron bar before entering the room. The Leticia Gore actress stands, terrified while the three little boys raise their knives up. Dean looks at the woman. "Run."

She doesn’t hesitate to do as she’s told.

The three little boys begin walking towards him.

He’s flung across the room, hitting the wall with a painful crack. The metal bar in his hands slips out off his hands and slides out of his reach, leaving him defenseless. 

Luckily, Sam arrives before he can be scalped and helps him up. "Thanks."

And then Sam is flung into the wall.

"Sam!"

-

Klaus walks to the auditorium, dreading having to spend even a second with Chuck. For reasons Klaus doesn’t know, the author hates his guts. He has some theories as to why. Maybe Chuck doesn’t like him because he doesn’t appear in his visions. Maybe, and Klaus hopes this isn’t the case, Chuck is just a homophobic ass. Whichever one it is, Klaus can safely say the feeling is mutual.

As he walks, he’s stopped by a little ghost boy holding a knife. "Miss Gore wouldn't let us have any fun."

"That’s rough, buddy." Klaus said. "But it sounds like a you problem, so I’m going to walk past you now. Alright, kiddo?"

"But Miss Gore is gone and now we can have all kinds of fun."

"Yeah, okay." Klaus said. "Only you can’t. Because murder is illegal."

The little boy glares. "You aren’t scared."

"I’m not." Klaus confirms.

"Why not?"

Klaus shrugs.

"Do you not care for your own life?" The little boy asks.

"To be honest? Not at all." Klaus said. "And even if I did, it’s not like I can die."

The little boy just stares.

"Okay! Enough of the suspense." Klaus said. "Do what you’re going to do. Scalp me. ‘Cause that’s what you do, right? That’s what you did to Miss Gore’s little boy, which is why she did that to you and herself."

Once more, the little boy stares, but this time with tears in his eyes.

"Mind telling me why you did it?" Klaus asks.

"William had a mommy, but Nicholas, Franklin, and I didn’t." The little boy explains, wiping away his tears. "It wasn’t fair. Why did William deserve a family, but we didn’t? We were good boys."

"I don’t think ‘good’ is the worst you’re looking for here. I mean, you did kill someone without any hesitation." Klaus said. The little boy looks at him with shock filled, teary eyes. "But, I suppose, anyone can become a killer if they’re tortured enough. It still doesn’t make it right, though. Do you regret what you did?"

"I do not believe you’d like the truth."

"I take that as a no." Klaus said, then hums. "It makes sense. You did just kill someone, and you’re trying to kill me right now. Speaking of that. Are you going to scalp me or not? I have places to be, so I’d rather get this over with now."

The boy hesitates. "No, I won’t kill you."

"Oh?" Klaus said. "Why not?"

"You want to die."

Klaus realizes with much horror that this boy only kills people who are afraid of death. At least he, Sam, and Dean are safe. "Okay." He said. "Then, can I go?"

"Yes."

"Great." Klaus said, walking backwards toward the auditorium and doing finger-guns to the child. "I’ll hopefully never see you again."

He opens the door, keeping an eye on the child, and walks inside. Before closing the door, he salts the line where he broke it. All eyes are on him inside of the auditorium. 

"Oh, thank God." Chuck said. "Is it safe to leave?"

"Uh, no." Klaus said. "I just had a pleasant conversation with a murderous ghost boy."

Chuck nods, looking uncomfortable. "Then why are you here?"

"I was told- no, forced- to check on you." Klaus said. "So I’m checking on you."

"Oh, well, we’re fine." Chuck said. "So, you can leave."

"Well, I don’t want to." Klaus said. He takes a seat in the front row. "I’ll be staying here as long as it takes for them to burn the ghost boys’ bones."

"Ah, great." Chuck said. "Uhm, anyone have any questions?"

"Yeah, actually." A bored looking fan said, then stands up. "Uhm, that curly haired kid seems to know a lot about the book, maybe you could let him talk? Please let him talk."

"Uhh, he’s not a Supernatural author, so..."

"Yeah, but obviously you know him." Another fan replies. "Maybe he can give you an idea or two. Obviously you need them, ‘cause really? Angels? Lucifer?"

"I take offense to that." Chuck said. "But, yeah, okay, fine. Klaus, would you please join me up here?"

Klaus smirks. "Gladly."

-

Sam hits the wall and falls to the ground, dropping the metal pole in the process. 

Knife in hand, the little boy ghost approaches him with an evil smirk on his face. Sam reaches for the pole, but it’s no use. The boy grabs ahold of his hair and brings the knife closer as Sam struggles against his hold.

"No!" Sam shouts. "Dean!"

Now would be a really great time for ‘Sam’ and ‘Dean’ to burn those bones.

-

Ben watches anxiously as ‘Sam’ and ‘Dean’ try and fail to flare their lighters over the bones of the orphan boys. No spirit has came to stop them and that’s what scares him. Where are they? Are Sam, Dean, Klaus, and the actress okay? Did the plan fail? He doesn’t know, but he can’t wait for this day to be over. 

"How come Dean can always light the stupid thing on the first freaking try?" ‘Dean’ asks, annoyed when he flicks the lighter but no flame comes from it. "Come on!!!"

Finally, the lighter flares and ‘Dean’ drops it on the bones. 

Ben just hopes they were fast enough.

-

Dean struggles against the knife that’s barely an inch away from his hairline as the child sits on top of him. A few feet away, Sam is in the exact same position, trying not to be scalped while being held down. 

The only thought that runs through his mind is how much he hopes Klaus doesn’t relapse like he did last time he died.

Just as he accepted his fate, the ghosts vanish in a fiery blaze.

He sits there, gasping for the air he was deprived of for so long, and looks at Sam, who does the same. With shaky feet, he stands up and picks up the pole he dropped earlier. "You know maybe that guy was right." He said. "Maybe we should put these things on a bungee."

Sam simply stares.

-

"So, I- er, my character idea for the book, had a tough life." Klaus said. "He was adopted into a shitty family, he was forced to compete with his siblings, his Dad locked him away in a mausoleum because of his ghostly abilities, his Mom was a robot, and he turned to drugs to cope with all that. Also, he’s pansexual."

"Sounds interesting." A fan said.

"Yeah, but does Supernatural really need a gay character?" A douchebag said. Klaus feels rage bubbling in his chest. Really? It’s 2009. Why couldn’t they leave the homophobes in the 1990s? "I mean, the reason I love Supernatural is because it has everything men should be. Real men who shoot guns and love women. Not fairies. Next thing you’re gonna tell me is he likes skirts."

"Actually, he does-"

"Oh my gosh!" The douchebag said. "So, he’s a tranny?"

"HEY!" Chuck shouts, surprising Klaus. "We do NOT use that language in here, you hear me, you-you homophobe! The Supernatural community is a welcoming, friendly place where you’re free to be yourself, unless your self is a homophobic dick!"

"Yeah!" Klaus said. "And you have the plot all wrong, okay? It’s not about guns, it’s about family, and family is supposed to love and support each other no matter what."

"Exactly." Chuck said. "If you’re gonna think like that, then just leave!"

"Well, I can’t." Douchebag said. "There’s ghosts outside, remember?"

"Actually, there’s not." A familiar voice said. 

Klaus looks up to the door and sees Ben, Sam, Dean, ‘Sam’, and ‘Dean’ in the doorway.

"We burnt the bones extra crispy." ‘Dean’ said.

"Yeah, they’re gone." Dean said. "Nearly killed us, but they were banished. It’s safe to leave."

Everyone but Klaus, Ben, Sam, Dean, Chuck, Becky, ‘Sam’, and ‘Dean’ practically sprints out of the room, much to Ben’s amusement. "What’s that about?" He asks.

"I don’t really know, but I think Chuck is boring." Klaus whispers. Chuck gives him an offended look. "Hey, I don’t know how else to explain why they looked like they were wishing for death."

"I just stood up for you." Chuck said. "Damnit."

"Speaking of that..." Becky said. "Chuck? Can we talk? Please."

"Uh, yeah." Chuck said. "Sure?"

He and Becky walk off together. To do what? Klaus doesn’t really know if he wants to know. Klaus looks back at the group of people to see ‘Sam’ and ‘Dean’ have left as well. "So, was it awful?" Sam asks. "I know you didn’t want to come here."

"Let’s just say, I have a newfound respect for Chuck." Klaus said.

Dean nods. "Well, ready to get going?" He asks. "I don’t know about you, but if I never see a fancy hotel again, it’ll be too soon."

"I feel the same way, Dean-o."

The medium, two demon hunters, and ghost exit the building.

As much as he hates to admit it, he sort of had fun, and he wouldn’t mind going to another Supernatural fan convention in the far, far future. First, Sam and Dean just have to agree to let Chuck write more books, then maybe that will happen.

That will never happen.

-

Sam is dragged away by Becky and Chuck the second his feet touch the ground. Why? Apparently, Becky thinks they’re in a relationship and she’s ending things with him. This is the least heartbroken he’s ever been with a break up.

"Look Sam." Becky said. "I'm not gonna lie. We had undeniable chemistry. But like a monkey on the sun it was too hot to live. It can't go on. Chuck and I, we found each other. My yin to his proud yang. And well, the heart wants what the heart wants. I'm so so sorry."

"Yeah Sam." Chuck said. "Sorry."

Sam struggles to stop himself from smiling. Becky and Chuck are perfect for each other, mostly because they both annoy him. Definitely a match made in Heaven. He grimaces, causing Becky to furrow her eyebrows in concern.

"Will you be all right?" Becky asks.

Sam fakes a sad face and sighs heavily. "Honestly I don't know." He said. "I'll just have to find a way to keep living, I guess."

"God bless you."

"Why is God blessing Sam?" Klaus asks, approaching the group of three.

"Becky and Chuck are in love, so..." Sam said with faux-pain in his voice. "She had to let me go."

"Oh, that’s awful." Klaus said. "But, Chuck, I’m happy for you. Finally, you’ll get your cherry popped. Congratulations."

"Okay." Sam said, quickly changing the subject. "Oh, hey. Chuck. If you really wanna publish more books, I guess that's okay with us."

"Wow." Chuck said, excited. "Really?"

"No not really." Sam replies. "We have guns and we will find you."

"Okay, okay." Chuck replies. "No more books."

"See you around."

He turns and begins to walk away, Klaus following closely behind.

Becky runs after him. "Sam!" She said. "Wait, one more thing. In chapter 33 of Supernatural Time is on my Side, there's that girl Bela? She was British, and a cat burglar."

"Yeah I know."

"I don’t." Klaus said. "Go on."

"Klaus, no." Sam said with a sigh. "What about her?"

"She stole the Colt from you and then she said she gave it to Lilith, remember?" Becky asks. Yes. He knows this all too well. After all, it is his life. He knows everything there is to know about it.

"Yeah."

"Well you know she lied right, she didn't really give it to Lilith."

Sam looks at Chuck, who grins nervously. "Wait, what?"

"Didn't you read the book?" Becky asks. Answer: No. Again, it’s his life, he doesn’t need to read about it ‘cause he’s already living it. "There was this one scene where Bela gives the Colt to a demon named Crowley. Lilith's right hand man. And I think her lover too."

"Crowley." Sam repeats. He looks to Chuck. "Didn't it occur to you to tell us this before?"

"I'm sorry." Chuck apologizes. "I didn't remember. I'm not as much of a fan as she is."

Oh, ‘cause remembering plots in your own book is impossible. Right.

"Becky, tell me everything."

Becky laughs then explains everything, and Sam listens to every tiny piece of information she gives him. If they find the colt, they may just be able to kill Lucifer, and maybe they can save the world from ending.

A rare look of concern crosses over Chuck’s face as Becky talks. "Hey, Klaus?" He asks. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, it’s just..." Klaus trails off.

"What?"

He hesitates. "I know Crowley, okay?"

"How?" Sam asks, dreading the answer he’s about to hear.

"From when I went to Hell." Klaus explains. "After my boyfriend killed me."

Whatever Sam expected Klaus to say, it certainly wasn’t that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! 
> 
> Please comment and if you haven’t already, kudos and subscribe, ‘cause those sorts of things keep me motivated to actually write and I put a lot of time/effort into this story and I like knowing people read it/like it.
> 
> Have a good day/night!
> 
> (Ik the chapter is a mess toward the end. Also, I know there’s probably typos. I’ll read it over tomorrow. Thank you so much for reading.)

**Author's Note:**

> And that concludes the first chapter of the 3rd installment of my most viewed series, A Medium and Two Demon Hunters! I hope y’all enjoyed! And you think this chapter was a bumpy ride, well, hold onto your seats ‘cause it’s gonna get even bumpier! 
> 
> I do NOT own Supernatural or The Umbrella Academy or the characters on those shows! I merely write fanfic for them. If I owned them, don’t you think I would have written Sam and Dean into TUA by now? Lol. Anyway, yeah. I don’t own this whatsoever. Have a nice day!


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